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[Bec73]

I am the mother of two children, a daughter who is 15.5 and a son 12.5. My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8. We have been in the medication merry go round do a number of years and currently my son takes 30mg of Vyvanse during the week with Melatonin in the evening to help him settle. He is a very energetic, kind, caring boy who is full of spunk. He has some difficulty with friendship groups and school and is struggling academically. More recently I took his PlayStation as his grades in term 1 were very poor.

Any tips on improving grades would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers

[RhondaN]

Hi Bec73 - ????? wondering what are your worries academically? What are his grades like? Have you determined if the grades are due to his ADHD (inability to focus, stay on task) or is it due to learning abilities? Has he always had difficulties through school with grades. Or just as he has moved into middle school.? For my son (ADHD) the academic wheels starting falling of the cart around 13 /14 once leaving the elementary model of teaching. My son had great success with Strattera and as he moved into University Dexedrine to help him focus while writing exams. Look at perhaps our expectations as parents at what "good marks" look like. If he is failing classes and hasn't before ..can he stay on task to be tutored? Is he allowed to write tests away from class room with out distractions? (the mere taping of pencils on a desk drove my son nuts). Advocate for him in the class room, talk to his teacher for pre mock tests so he can be successful when the time comes. Perhaps finding a middle ground for allowing the play station as reward instead of a punishment for school work completed may be more beneficial, include him in that process, so he feels like he is being heard and understood. I can only relate on my experiences that by expecting typical behaviour from untypical children we will be setting ourselves up for disappointments most times. Not to mention them feeling the have disappointed us, PS My son barely passed High school, it was by the grace of his English teacher that he passed English with 51%. Things went a little sideways for awhile BUT With much work on his part, understanding his brain and how it works, developing frontal lobe etc, proper medication and support and research from his parents he has graduated university with a BA (it took 7 years of PT studies and is now moving into a 16 mos University program to allow him to be a teacher. Best wishes to you and your beautiful, kind boy... Encourage, love and never stop seeking first to understand. XX R

[ConcernedCaliMom in reply to RhondaN]

RhondaN! So beautifully written! I am inspired for our son to go past High School with excellence. This school year was an absolute train wreck! he as 2 years of HS, I truly just want him to be successful. Thank you for reminding me to have empathy for his lagging brain, seek more understanding of that fact, and for your positive hope that I now have for our nightmarish 16.5 year old. ATM, we are working on household respect and steps to get substance free, as he is medication non-compliant This summer is a much needed break for him academically, although he is enrolled in 1 class for summer school, mostly online format.

Congrats to you and your son for a VERY WELL DONE JOB!!!

[RhondaN in reply to ConcernedCaliMom]

Ohhh my dear Momma I can relate on such a deep level here, I was once told that a Mother is as happy as her saddest child and on so many levels that rings true. The fact that you are aware and are seeking is a positive step forward. I think one of the biggest things my son now reflects on at 28 is his issue of self esteem. His constant outbursts, impulsive behaviours. hyper sensitivity and emotional meltdowns affected his surroundings and his feelings of "why do I do this? the guilt of doing it and the shame of accepting the responsibility of those behaviours."

Great book written my Ross Greene called the explosive child was a break through for us all ....It also allowed our son at 18 to realize that his behaviours were not him BUT more his brains ability to process and the science of nuero transmission. (educated us too big time) .. Ahh yes summer always a chance to breathe. I made a promise to myself that if I could lean in and help one child, one family through our journey then that was lifes reward,..Take care and reach out anytime.... Thanks for the job well done..XO

[anirush]

To me grades are not as important as they're doing the best they can to their ability. We do tutorials, One has a mentor during classes to help him focus. There are lots of things to help an ADHD child especially if you have an IEP for them.

[HeathersWellness]

Hi Momma Bec. You're definitely in very good company here. I'm sure you're going through some difficult challenges right now but your son sounds quite charming. Kindness and caring/affection are simply wonderful attributes to have and is most likely going to do well with a little coaching and perhaps some counseling as well.

A website that I have found really helpful is by an organization called Child Mind Institute --bit.ly/2J7lwAU. They are located in New York City. If you're not too far, you might want to visit them.

By the way, it does get easier. Even the medication challenges which I do understand will become less problematic. Let us know what changes that you've implemented have worked for you. We love hearing excellent progress reports. It encourages everyone!

You be encouraged as well. Sending hugs and prayers.