Heartbroken : Today happened. One the... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Heartbroken

Luluisaac15
Luluisaac15

Today happened. One the things I feared a lot. My son is a first grader, and he shared that his teacher told him he is always shouting out because his medications must not be working. I couldn’t believe it. My heart sunk.

Have any of you experienced this? How did you handle it? I’m of course going to request a meeting with his teacher. I hope I can keep it together.

12 Replies
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I am so sorry. I can’t believe a teacher could be so insensitive! Can you have the school psychologist and principle at the meeting too? It seems like additional administrative involvement may be needed so this teacher can have some much needed coaching and accountability.

I’m so sorry to hear this happened to your boy.

Completely unprofessional, lacked compassion and unacceptable.

Absolutely take a meeting with the principal, this teacher needs to understand her role and boundaries immediately.

Perhaps she was having a rough day, however she needs to understand how delicate this childs spirit and self esteem is.

My son shouts a lot as well, he has auditory sensory processing disorder and adhd. The ASPD is the reason my son shouts when he speaks. They can’t help it. There is so much going on in their little amazing bodies and growing brains.

You will keep it together, get mad at home but walk into that meeting with your rules, wisdom and state your concerns clearly.

In my experience with the school I am the one often educating them.

You will resolve this with your strength, compassion and calmness. Remember she is still going to be teaching your boy for the rest of the year.

❤️

Yes it happened to me before my son was on meds. His teacher actually emailed me angrily about it. Saying he needs to be on meds, when will I start it, before i had him on meds. I had been told by the counselor before that he was doing well. I called the counselor devastated and crying. The principal reprimanded the teacher. That was a horrible year for us.

You guys have rights so use up your rights.

Teacher defenitley needs psychoeducation about this topic. I started sending my sons teacher cookies and other goodies on a weekly basis along w/ educational articles from ADDitude magazine. A lot of teachers get frustrated because they dont understand this is a genetic disorder. 🤓

Yes I have had this problem. Sometimes the teacher has denied saying anything then you've only got the kids word against the teacher's word.

Unfortunately not all teachers are sensitive to or even acknowledge ADHD. You have to keep fighting for your child. My son is in high school now and we always have that one teacher that is rude or non accommodating. Just have to request a meeting and show your not going to put up with that. Think some teachers test things out and see which parents are involved or see what they can get away with. I love teachers and don’t know how they do it. But some teachers are just plain mean. Just don’t give up the fight. I find that when a tide teacher like that sees the parent is involved they back off. Good luck!!!

This happened to my son. I was PISSED, and so should you be. When he told me what his teacher said, I sent an email that afternoon to the principle and demanded a meeting. I asked her if it’d be okay to make snarky remarks to other kids with special needs? How about adults with physical issues? When ADHD kids are managed by stupid or ignorant teachers, it effects their self esteem. Thought patterns form. Negative feelings about themselves, feeling that they’re broken or inferior, feeling out of control...this leads to worse behaviors like ODD or even conduct disorders later. Fight for your kid! The wrong teaching style can impact them for life! You can be diplomatic, but don’t be shy about going straight to principle.

I so feel your pain when your kids do something and you know it's because their brains not working not because they mean malice. If their disorder showed on their body like a broken arm people would understand.

Do you have an IEP or 504 Plan with the school? I had/have a meeting with his SST/IEP team and laid all the details of his ADHD/Mood disorder and medications. You can also supply them with a dr. letter. The teacher should be given tools to help deal with his special needs. He needs this document/team to protect him.

My son recently exposed himself at a cub scouts event b/c he hadn't slept in 2 nights. I have no idea if he took his meds on time b/c he was with his dad. I begged him not to take him overnight b/c I knew my amazing happy kid turns into a ping pong ball bouncing into things before thinking. The dad reported it to the pack leader without telling my husband (who was 10 ft away) and now he can't go to scouts until an "investigation".

My son was unbelievable remorseful and didn't tell us for a week. He said its the "biggest mistake of his life." I just can't believe this guy didn't come to us, we've been in the pack for 3 years and all know each other well. So heartbroken for him.

I have put my foot down and made Sleep is the #1 priority.

It's hard.

Skip the discussion with the teacher and go straight to administration. This is unacceptable behavior and should not be tolerated.

Thank you all. I am literally in tears as I read all of your comments , very helpful by the way.

Update : We just got home from school, and my son told me that his teacher talked to him without my knowledge. She told him that whatever he made up, was not true. In my eyes , she has crossed a fine line. I emailed the principal right away, and we scheduled a meeting for tomorrow at 9 am.

You should not only meet with his teacher, but you should write a letter to the principal and Superintendent of Schools, as well as the Head of the Special Education Department (with a request for an evaluation for Special Ed. Services which are free). The teacher has violated your child's privacy which is illegal. You can also make it clear to the teacher and all parties that if it happens again, you will report the matter to the State Department of Education and request an investigation. Unfortunately to get services in the school, you have to be a bad-ass and not care if the school staff likes you. I could fill volumes with horror stories of their behavior. Many parents (us included) have found that these medications make our children sick and have terrible side effects. In a small dose, a little medication, if it improves academic progress and helps a little with behavior is ok. If there is no difference, there are other areas to explore. There are books on behavior modification that are very effective. You can go ahead and pursue special education services for your child which will include sessions with a school psychologist. Because of what we went through, I wrote, illustrated and self-published a childrens' book on Amazon.com under books called "I have A.D.D. and I'm Proud to Be Me." The book is from the child's perspective and medication is included in the story. If you read the book with him, it will open a very valuable door to communication between you and your child, so he will know you are his confidant and best friend and you understand. Knowing how much he is loved is a big part of the picture. Best wishes to you and your family. Wendy Kirkpatrick.

I’m so sorry to hear this happened to your beautiful son. I agree a meeting with the teacher, the principle and the school's psychologist. Set up an IEP so that all are aware of the situation. Mom do not go in heated and angry but remain firm and calm. You know your child and you are his biggest advocate. Good luck!

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