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Multiple children, multiple issues= crazy house!

Kiwilove profile image

Hey all, we have 3 kiddos, 11, 7 and 4. The oldest is ADHD, ODD, anxious and depression, the 7 year old experiences sensory problems and is incredibly anxious and the 4 year old is the same has her 11 yo brother, but worse:( Our oldest tends to set the weather in the house and when he is off, both girls head in the same direction and then it all falls apart.

Has anyone found a good way to deal with this? It's hard enough with the one, but when all 3 are out of their minds it is near impossible to keep my cool. Any suggestions are very appreciated.

6 Replies

Sorry to hear that! Sounds like a pretty combustible combination.

What treatments are they currently receiving? What discipline methods do you currently use at home?

I am so sorry and yes I do understand. I had three boys all within three years of each other and after a trauma, my middle son set the tone. I have since been a preschool teacher and dealt with many different issues and have developed techniques that worked great.

As crazy as it sounds, music and counting help during a meltdown or just before.

A calm counting one, two, three, until 5 or 10. If you make it to 5 or 10 (you pick) I would say, uh oh we haven't calmed yet, let's try again. If the child would let me, I would take their hand and walk around the room slowly while we counted. As they calmed I would say good job, or oh we are stopping before 10 that is great. Honestly, this technique never took beyond a minute. There was never a consequence or reward, just calm counting or soft singing.

Another one, when things were crazy, I would start singing and have them sing with me. At one point when sensory overload kids were having too much, they would walk up to me and say, I think we need a song.

Headphones or earplugs can help greatly with sound sensory issues.

My reaction from my children may have been different than my classroom. It worked for the classroom though and completely changed the atmosphere of crazy town to calm.

The brain is in trauma mode when kids are acting out and by counting or singing soft you are getting the brain to switch to the other side of logically thinking.

Hopefully, you are able to see a therapist with these concerns and having support in that way. I know not everyone is able. Finding the source of these issues may be helpful as well, perhaps an assessment with a behavior therapist, there could be more going on and they have some great insights into functional therapy.

Prayers you find peace and direction! I do understand and am happy to give any more ideas if interested.

Best wishes!

Here are some great encouragement and resources:

bit.ly/2D6jMT5

Hi Writing for Joy!

First and foremost, thank you for your kind words and compassionate suggestions. It's funny because this evening my middle daughter had an over the top meltdown and just couldn't pull it together - this through my husband over the edge. In the end, what was successful was prayer - not just saying it in my head, but out loud in that rote voice we get when we say the same prayer over and over. It's very similar to what you shared and after having read your suggestions it makes total sense to me as to why it worked. So, thank you! I just had a wonderful A Ha moment that will really help how we parent!

Thank you too for the resources, I am excited to dive into them.

I am so blessed to hear this. Praying for continued growth and success!

Thank you! It can be quite the household at times. For my son we have him on meds, Omega 3's, lots of exercise, and a 504 plan at school. For the most part he does okay if he's exercised, rested and fed...like most kids. Where we tend to really struggle are those times in between meds - if he goes off, it's hard to get him back to reality.

As for discipline, we aren't as good as we should be. However, one thing we have found that works is allowing him the opportunity to earn more time on his Wii or iPad for chores, or helping out when it's not his chores. As a rule the kids are not allowed on any media during the week and only get 30 minutes of Wii and 30 minutes of iPad daily on the weekends.

I am really looking for strategies that can help us bring him back from the edge, as well as not have his mood escalate the entire house's. I'd love your thoughts there if you have them. Thanks!

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