13yo refuses to try meds

[Caden2005]

It's that time for my 13yo ro start meds. We've tried to avoid it but it's now inevitable. Problem now is hes refusing to even talk about it. When it comes up he completely shuts down. I just dont know what to do.

[Onthemove1971]

Caden2005-

What types of interventions have you tried? Who is taking to him? Can he talk with someone other that you guys ( I assume his parents, who are always the ones talking to him?)

In our house there is no choice.

We/his counselor say "you know when you act like xxxx you are did not take you medication do you like acting this this? When you act like xxxx, do you like that?

These kids need hard evidence.

FYI- when you get him to take the medication, you must watch him, every dose you can not trust he will put it in his mouth every time. It is ADHD, not our kids..

Please start asap, sounds like you are there. Can you find successful kids that take and enjoy being on medication, maybe a support group for teens?

Best of luck

[Crunchby]

Dang.. I'm so afraid of this happening. You don't want to hold them down and force em to take the pills. I have gotten some push back, to which we threatened taking things away. Now, I try to explain why she needs it. I had a genetic test done and it provided concrete evidence that a dopamine killing enzeyme is in overdrive, and what meds can help. That has helped a lot. The older they get, the more they will want to know 'why', really why. Its a fair question...its thier bodies. Part of me wants to say because your even more of little ahole without the meds. ...but, as parent of an adhd child, I have learned to communicate in a more positive way. 😀. Good luck!

[MunchkinMommy537]

Unfortunately it’s going to be a question of whose more stubborn. You can’t let it be his choice. If he doesn’t take the medication he doesn’t get to do things he likes (video games, sports, whatever is important to him). Childhood is not a democracy, and until he is 18 and is responsible for himself, he doesn’t get a choice. Once he’s on the medication for a while and sees the difference it makes he might understand or he might not.

[lrt1]

My 15 year old was diagnosed this year and we presented the idea of meds and he refused so we gave him some time (we gave a few months, but he doesnt urgently need them - you could probably just drop it for a week or so - and I mean seriously do not mention them at all as sometimes the break alone releives the emotions and pressure). Then we told him it was still his decision absolutely but to make such an adult decision he needs to do what any adult would do: which is get all the information possible so an informed decision could be made. We then called his pediatrician and explained we would like him to have an appointment (with us there too) where the doctor could explain the medicine to him and all the good and bad of it and he could ask all the questions he likes. The pediatrician was great and spoke directly to him about the meds and how they work - specifically focusing on how if he doesnt like them, there is no lasting effect and he can just go off them. After that meeting, he decided to try them and has just started in preparation for the new school year. Sometimes just making them feel in control and like an adult helps. Plus we were really surprised at the questions he asked the doctor that he did not feel like asking us - and I think those answers were really beneficial. Sometimes a neutral party can really help, especially with teenagers that dont want to do what mom and dad tell them to do.

Best of luck and you are doing great at all this!!

[seller]

I agree with the bottom post - this is not a choice he is capable of making at this age. Be sure and explain that he has ADHD, which is not his fault, but that things like school and sports will be much easier for him if he takes it. You might consider using a medication that comes in a capsule and mixing with applesauce, jelly, etc and giving him the spoonful. My son was "cheeking" his meds when he could not swallow them at age 8! We found them all over the house, under furniture, etc. And I would also consider maybe a rewards system instead of punishment?

[ItTakesAVillage]

I deal with this sometimes with my 14 year old and it can be very frustrating🤦‍♀️. This summer in particular he has convinced himself that he doesn’t “need” the meds 🙄. I’ve always tried to relate ADHD/taking to someone needing glasses. I tell him there’s nothing someone did that made them need glasses it’s just the way they’re made...that glasses are a prescription that help people see better and therefore perform better. Same with ADHD and the meds to treat it...nothing he did to get ADHD and the meds are there to help him perform better. Just like someone can not wear their glasses and suffer the repercussions (bumping into things, not seeing clearly, etc) , he can suffer the repercussions of not taking his meds (impulsivity, getting in trouble, punishment for behavior, etc). Or he can take them and have a good day 🤷‍♀️...his choice. Fortunately he’s been making the better choice this week...🤞Maybe explaining things in a way similar to this would be helpful with your son. In the meantime the rest of us parents are here to support you. 😊

[Aniusia]

I actually faced the “ I am not taking it” situation today morning. My son is almost 14. Yesterday he took it, no problem. Today he said NO. I said it’s ok , but I also will say NO to PS4 😏

He swallowed that pill with a speed of light.