Meltdown s

[Jenngrrl75]

Hey All;

Hope everyone is doing well! I’m interested in knowing how y’all manage meltdowns? My 4 yr old goes from zero to ninety in no time and is just unmanageable when he’s losing it. Seeking support and guidance...

Jen

[helsiu]

I'm sorry to hear about your son's meltdowns. My oldest son use to meltdown and rage for a long time. I realized I had to be a good detective and look at when he raged and why. When I figured out his triggers were I did my best to warn him ahead of times what was going to happen. I gave him count downs. If the iPad was out and I knew he would want to play with it if he saw it, and I didn't have time to deal with a meltdown I put it away.

Another thing I did was stay firm to what I said. If there was only 15 more minutes of iPad time left then, that was it. He still meltdown about it initially, but Not relenting let he know this behavior would not reward him with what he wanted. It is and was hard to do, but they learn.

I also make sure that I immediately praise him when he has given me the iPad in time and have rewarded him with minute or two extra minutes. You can also do a reward chart for good behavior. You can start out small and reward him daily if he stayed calm 3 or 5 times in a day and you can build that bigger as he gets better.

Lastly, Teach him some calming strategies as well taking deep breaths going to a cool down area. Doing one or two yoga poses. Just some ideas.

Hope this helps.

[Jenngrrl75 in reply to helsiu]

Thank you for your response! I do try to be very strategic and do count downs, use timers, and stick to my boundaries. I do provide support praise and treats or incentives when rules are followed. Historically the bx charts don’t work too well for us...it’s exhausting.

[helsiu in reply to Jenngrrl75]

Just know you are not alone in the struggle.

[DecaturDAD]

Age 4 may be a bit old for it, but a book called "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" had helpful in formation when my son was pre-school age. Ross Greene's book, "The Explosive Child" (which has been updated, I think) was also helpful, but the "Plan B" technique he advocates may be better suited for kids over age 4. Another thing we did with the countdowns was to remind our son that there was to be "no fussing" when the time ran out. I'm don't know why, but at least most of the time, that reminder at the start of the countdown and near the end usually helped (and still can at age 15). It gets better, but transitions are tough. Hang in there!