Sorry for a negative post. So tired, so much effort put in, but today I can't seem to access the techniques I have learnt. Put a lot of weight on, no energy, hard to focus on anything. Wondering if the effort has all been for nothing and I am destined to be miserable and alone for the rest of my life and that every time I get close to feeling on the up, either my mind or body will let me down and smash the little bit of hope into tiny pieces. How many times can you pick up the pieces, 21 years of doing it has not got me anywhere and I can only see it getting harder.