I have realized the best way for me to heal is to help you guys heal so here are some advice I have been given or lessons I have learned that have helped me out in the past:
-sometimes you just gotta fake it not bottle it but fake it this helps you get in the right mindset before you talk to someone
-sometimes you don't share details but share something and then add in details little by little this helps you to prevent yourself from going over the edge but also helps others to help you.
-write it down then reread latter to understand the patterns and the little details you might not notice at the moment
-it is ok to remove yourself from a toxic situation even if the other person plays mad or like you are being rude or hurting them and as long as you are not intentionally doing any of this you need to take care of yourself also so it is ok to walk away when helping them is pulling you down also
-NEVER USE YOUR ISSUES AS AN EXCUSE a reason is a different thing but if you use it as an excuse you give people the feeling that you expect them to treat you a certain way because of your problem so they then feel awkward because they do not know how to act or feel around you
-serve, love, force yourself out of the shell if you never try to change how are you gonna ever get anywhere.
hope this uplifts or helps someone today and let me know if I should make this a daily or weekly thing and what this should be called. I would love to talk if anyone needs someone to help them grow into the inner angel you are made to be.
Am I a monster? What am I? 
Whats happening really!!
