i don’t even know

[rhino321]

okay i think this is going to be a lot bc i have so much on my brain . i am black and a male and not a normal dude i’m big af and i’m just struggling to really find out who i am tbh. i go to college but i can’t really find any friends and since i went to a majority white school the white ppl don’t wanna hangout with me bc i’m black and i feel like the black people don’t wanna hangout with me bc i ain’t “black “ enough . even tho im on the football team i have never felt so out of place . i don’t really fit it with anyone i struggle in my classes bc i always relied on football to get me pass . every time i read aloud or even just voice my opinion i feel as if everyone is talking about how dumb i am and how i try to act different. being black rn ,tough , football player it’s hard to tell anyone ab your problems and take you seriously because at the end ima man and i have to handle my own problems w no tears and have somebody making fun of me too .

also with football i got into football fairly late in the career and i went from a transition from pee wee to middle school and it was rough for me . i barley remember any good times and all i remember is feeling down until high school things changed but now in the first 2 semesters of college it feels as if it’s relapsing slowly. i’m truly scared ima going to let me family down bc college coaches called me a slow beginniner while i was in college. i never thought i was until i realized how much more people know not only about football than me but life.