Insight...: With so much stress, anxiety... - Above & Beyond

Above & Beyond

5,416 members1,489 posts

Insight...

Lu2356 profile image
4 Replies

With so much stress, anxiety, depression, and grief boiling in my head, would it be wrong not to want to see my mom or deal with my family for fear of making it worse...? She is terminally ill with cirrhosis and they just happen to make matters worse with their “no it all” mentality...

Written by
Lu2356 profile image
Lu2356
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
4 Replies
GoodDay2smile profile image
GoodDay2smile

Hi Lu

it is up to you... what do you feel? Are you close with your mother? Even if not, spend just 5 or 10 minutes holding her hand, a hug or a kiss. Sometimes you just need to be there, no need to speak or discuss or get upset. Just be there for her and for you, before it is too late. About your family... just be polite and nod your head: doesn't mean you are agreeing with them but that you are listening. Be zen. Focus on your breathing, be gentle and don't argue, just say "this is not the time to talk about it, maybe tomorrow, I'm here to be with my mum".

In my opinion it is not right or wrong, because in the end... you have to answer to yourself. How would you feel not being with her ever again? Do you miss her? Are you trying to escape confrontation? Listen to your heart. Be peaceful with yourself and with others.

I am sorry if I made it complex. My mum passed away when I was making plans to visit her. If I had a time travel machine I would use it to give her one last hug.

Lu2356 profile image
Lu2356 in reply to GoodDay2smile

Yes. U are so right. Today I was exhausted bc I only slept like 3 hours. But I am happy to say that took a shower and still showed up. My mom and I always had a love/hate relationship. Eventually, we forgave each other and moved on. At times, the past would come up but I would do my best to get her to change the subject.

I love her and no one will change that. I realize that these personal choices are of no concern to no one else. I will be there for her and keep things cordial. I was her caregiver for 10 months straight. But made the decision to stop and focus more on my kids while they are out of school for the summer. I had tried leaving earlier bc I was so stressed and falling into more anxiety and depression. It has put a toll on me seeing her deteriorate. But I am grateful to say I was with her as much as I could. We had good days and bad ones also, but I was still there. I myself was sick and going to the doctors many times. My mind, body, and soul has taken a toll, but I remain determined to take it one day at a time. It’s all I can do. Thank u for the kind words and motivation. I am so glad u care and reached out to me. 😊❤️

GoodDay2smile profile image
GoodDay2smile in reply to Lu2356

Anytime Lu. ;-) You can do it. Peace and tranquility. Keep in touch. :-)

Natsteveo profile image
Natsteveo

Hi Lu2356

This is very close to my heart too very much.. your mums time is very prescious now and every second , minute and every hour you spend with her is a memory and a vital time...Let family do what they want just smile and be civil for your mums sake it's all about her at the minute...I sadly lost my mum 11 year ago and it still feels so raw losing ya mum hits you like no other your mum is your mum we only get one and when she's no longer around believe me it's hard...So every minute you get be with her don't spend the rest of your life with any regrets..I totally understand not wanting to see her be so ill but this is your time with her..sod the family with their no it all comments but they don't know all of it you can do this here if you need any advice or just someone to talk to

Thinking of you

Nat

You may also like...

How do I keep my body from falling apart?

chronically ill. My health has been progressively getting worse year by year. My mental health has...

Can anyone recommend a good type of exercise for depression?

situations, this feeling of discomfort is so much worse when my depression is bad and I feel really...

Forced to have abortion

it's a heartbreaking decision I need to make because I would love to have a child, but I cannot...

Am I a monster? What am I?

read it I just needed to write it somewhere. I’m 16 and I never felt like I belonged here. I just...

Do you really want to be \"cured\" or do you merely want to thrive?

Wouldn't you say those that suffer from depression are too smart for their own good? We know why we...