Why do I always do the opposite of the right thing

[Brokenshadows]

I want to be a good man I want to be a great person to be around but I'm always so negative and puts me where I do wrong things I hate messing up but I always blame myself for everything I feel useless most of the tikme even if I do good I still blame myself I'm married and have a baby and my wife has been trying to leave me for 2 years now cause all I do is mess up I just want her though I want a family and grow old

[Shay209]

Hi Brokenshadows, you can't do everything wrong. Try baby steps. Resist as long as you can. And give yourself credit for what you do right. Be thankful she is still there. Tell her you appreciate her.

[pugwash80 Supporter]

Maybe I first say that you have a wife and a baby two things you’ve done right. Do you know why you are so negative? CBT might help see why and let you move on and enjoy what you have. X

[Koliadados]

I think you're too hard on yourself. No one's meant to be perfect. Maybe try this. Whenever you start thinking negatively, try to revert your thought process from negative to positive, remind yourself of the things you are thankful for and see the good in things. Sometimes we have to teach ourselves how to do this. With baby steps you'll be able to see past your previous opinions and slowly you'll learn how to see things positively. Of course negative situations don't go away, but if you focus too much on one problem you'll lose sight of what's really important, and what keeps us going in life is the good moments we cherish in spite of the bad ones. Maybe your dream of living a happy life is clouding your judgement of what's going on at the moment. You might be putting aside problems that are meant to be dealt with, hence why you seem to be more negative about things or you might be focusing too much on one thing that you lose sight of the bigger picture. I don't want to assume things so correct if I'm wrong. If your wife wants you to get better that is true love, but sometimes we need to do that work on our own. Could you maybe, if you feel comfortable enough, share more on the situation with your partner and what you mean by being negative?

[kenster1 Moderator]

take a step back and think of the reason you got together and find that person again before its too late.you have a wife and child at stake you must do everything to change

back to that person.this feels like me in many ways through my life always doubting myself feeling like I'm chasing shadows through life.