Hello.

[BohemianKatsody]

Hello, newbie here. I'm Kat and I'm struggling with loneliness and social anxiety.

I'm 28 and live alone. Bought a house 2 years ago, I had a friend move from Yorkshire to live with me whilst she was at uni, she unfortunately couldn't cope with uni and moved back home. Things weren't great; she has aspergers and living together didn't work out. We're fine now but I'm starting to feel lonely.

I don't have many friends. Ironically my closest friends don't live anywhere near me, with my best friend living 150 miles away! As I work every weekend I don't ever get to see her or other friends that I have. I don't have much of a life at all. I do blame awful work hours the most for that.

I have never been in a relationship. The only men that I have been involved with have used me, either messing about with me when they couldn't see their girlfriend, using me as a rebound or using me when they had had an argument with their girlfriend and wanted a back up. They all seem so interested in me then treat me like rubbish. I don't know how I will ever trust a man again or ever know if any man is being genuine to me. This is one thing that gets to me a lot. It seems like everyone else can attract someone and I can't. I shouldn't compare myself to others but it's hard not too.

I don't seem to gel very well with people because I'm so different. I don't drink which seems so major with most people. I've always been the odd one and looked down and bullied for it, I've never had any self-esteem, if I do feel any it doesn't last.

Can anyone relate?

[mrmonk]

Hello Kat,

I can definitely relate to the loneliness, and being the odd one out -- though I've always worn my otherness as a kind of badge of honor. I also don't drink, but those who drink to excess aren't the sort of company I choose to keep, anyway. I guess I prefer to consort with the other oddballs. I hope you find yourself less lonely here.

Neat nickname, by the way.

[-smrt-]

It seems like we've got a lot in common. So I feel your pain. Loneliness is really frustrating and it's hard to make progress when you feel like you're stuck on your own.

Have you looked into any social/hobby groups you could maybe attend during the week? It could be a good, kind of low pressure way to meet people who like similar stuff as you.

Hang in there!