I never do this kind of thing, but I dont know what else to do.

[LCPLHilsman]

Im not really the type to express this kind of mess, but I dont know where to turn. I was kicked out of the military coming up on a year ago, and honestly there hasnt been a day it doesnt haunt me. I feel so impulsive, I will be so happy i feel stupid one second and the next ill be the polar opposite. Since then ive moved in with my sister , i pay more than my share of rent but i still feel a burden. In this new area ive made no friends, nor made the attempt to. Im 20 years old with no drivers licence, because i im terrified to get behind the wheel. I look at my sister and her husband almost like parents, and its messed up because were equal, and i know it, but i cant help but feel inferior. Most days i dont do anything except work and waste my off time in front of my phone, and ive never been that type, i feel like i need some form of stimulation to even function (energy drinks and alcohol, generally both.) I just feel like my life has nowhere to go, and im tired of feeling like a burden to anybody. Do i get help? How ? Is it insurance covered? Im sorry, i know this has been all over the place, and i dont even know if this is where i should post this, or even if i should post this. Sorry.

[Hidden]

Hello LCPLHilsman and welcome to our supportive Community.

I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you are experiencing. The manner in which you left the military clearly continues to trouble you. It seems that you may have confidence and/or self-esteem issues as you say you feel a burden. Motivation is also a factor for you.

I do feel you are being incredibly hard on yourself. You are young at 20 years old and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Okay, alcohol and energy drinks are probably not a good idea and will not help with the mood swings.

Your motivation will improve as you start to feel more positive about yourself. Are there any activites you would like to participate in? Or perhaps something new you would like to try. I think you know the only way to meet new people is to start to get out and join in. I know it is not as simple as that but the sooner you make a start the 'easier' it will become.

I would suggest that you make an appointment with your Doctor to discuss how you are feeling. I am not sure of the Country you live, in the UK a Doctor will decide if you need medication and refer you for further help if required e.g. talking therapies.

I am not sure about your Insurance but perhaps check your policy or contact your Insurer to discuss your cover.

Please do stay in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here to support you LCPLHilsman, take care

Lottie

[Koliadados]

I'm no professional or anything, but it seems like Lottie summed it up. You overwork yourself which is most likely why when you have time to think you feel terrible. In some way it looks as if you've lost sense of who you are and what it means to live. Again, as said in the previous comment, you need to go out and get some experience. Join group projects or try and make friends anyhow. I know what it feels like to feel completely unmotivated for everything and as if you need a push to even get your day started, hence the alcohol and energy drinks. However, seeing as you relate your life going downhill to being kicked out of military camp, you're causing this repetitive lifestyle of surviving but not really living. It's as if you're stuck in time because you don't know how to move on. I'd say, try and focus on moving out maybe. Learn how to enjoy spending time with yourself and believe in the fact that you can do great things if you try. Give yourself something to look forward to. Forgive what's happened to you and set yourself some new goals. Stop living the same day everyday. Meet new people, change your surroundings, or find new hobbies. Help someone, it truly feels good to know that you're the reason behind someone's smile. Life doesn't always go as planned, we all know that, which is why when unexpected things happen we need to learn how to move on and this certainly doesn't happen over night or without effort.