In a rut

[John-bacon]

I have been "depressed" for quite some time and over the past few months i have hit rock bottom.

My partners father has had serious liver problems and a few other related issues due to being an alcoholic

My partners grandfather passed due to lung cancer

My grandfather passed due to liver cancer

My nan died a few years back due to copd

My father has recently been diagnosed with an anurism (he says it not to worry about due to the location of it)

My other nan is slowly going senile

My aunt is in end stages of lung cancer.

And to top it off i have phantom back problems. Varicocele. A few other minor medical issues and insomnia.

At 25 years old with 2 kids i feel as if i cant cope with anything anymore and just want to get away from it all. But theres always something happening that i need to "fix" for instance when my grandfather passed i had to step up and run his company along side my normal day job.

I dont know what to do or where to go. I am at breaking point but feel im only holding on for the kids.

[Ronnie282]

You know l lost them all but my sister way down in texas i alone and to be honest except for the lonlinessis it will get better that way you got a heavy weight to carry . Hang in there man it will get better i promise you .Be strong you can do it

[Natsteveo]

Hi there John-bacon welcome to our friendly community.

I am so very sorry for your losses and to your partner too...

Loss is difficult enough without having it happen to so many of yours and your partners loved ones

Grief will come to you when it thinks you need it as much as we try to be the "strong one" our body's and minds and our hearts still need to grieve too we can only be so strong for as long as our body's can take it..you must let grief in to deal with it and I know it's hard believe me I know but you are a strong person who is protecting everyone else and you are there for everyone but who's there for you...it's hard when you have small children too but they do seem to keep us going don't they maybe your worried about letting your emotions in in case you don't stop!!!

Everything you are feeling and experiencing is typical grief it's normal your so not alone in this the shaking and that is grief too once you let it out you yourself will relax more everybody grieves differently there's no time limit you take everyday as it comes and push through the day as best you can...

If you are feeling anxious about the way you feel please visit your doctor he may suggest a temporary solution such as medication for a while till you feel a bit better in yourself

Your stronger than you think

Please feel free to visit our bereavement site too

healthunlocked.com/bereavem...

Love Nat xxx

[koizumi]

A single human being should not have to cope with so many attacks on her emotional health. How many times have we seen that it always seems to be the FEMALES who have to cope. I don't know what the rest of your family feel about the situation. Your husband? But it sounds to me that you (and the kids) need a break. I think that you now need to think about yourself! There is only so much that one can take. Be a bit selfish. Their whole world will not fall apart if you are not there for a while. And don't go on a guilt trip. Easy for me to say--but I've been there.

GOOD LUCK