Self harm like compulsive

[mooshelley]

Has any one got any suggestions to stop me mutilating my legs. It just pops up in my head that I have to grab a jagged knife out of my dray sharpen it then just start cutting into my leg until I see blood which makes me come out of my low mood very quickly. I can't stop this it happens daily. Give me some answers please

[Rachmcd]

Hi, I've been in the same situation as yourself for years and I felt trapped. It was my only way of coping with anger, sadness..even boredom. I managed to give up self harming after years of self abuse and I've been self harm free for nearly 3 years now and I promise you it's so worth it!! Please, I beg of you not to hurt yourself again! I know it's so much easier said than done but you only get one life, you don't get new skin..you're stuck in the skin you're in for the rest of your life so treat it well. I still look back at my scars questioning why I ever put a blade to my skin!! There are so many other things you could do to get that same adrenaline rush! Draw on yourself to prevent yourself from cutting your pretty pictures, snap yourself with elastic bands even!! Anything is better than making yourself bleed, you're a beautiful girl who deserves to feel free from her own torments! I see you've ran a marathon, running can help..as soon as you get the urge or even the thought to cut grab your shoes instead of a blade and go running!! You'll feel the same adrenaline rush and "high" your mind is craving. Self harm is an addiction and if you ever have children in the future they'll see those scars and they'll ask where mummy got those scars and you won't know how to answer them. I am faced with this reality myself as I'm a parent myself now and I think about how I'm going to answer that question when my son is older..but it's something that reminds me to never ever hurt myself again no matter how much I crave, feel free to write to me whenever you feel the need to cut I'll be here for you if you have no one to turn to about it! Resist the temptation, you're better than that 😊❤️

[mooshelley in reply to Rachmcd]

I have 2 grown up daughter and 2 granddaughters. My life is in turmoil right now. I lost a baby boy 18 years ago and just early this may my beautiful 16 year old Lucas had taken his own life. After having a mental breakdown at work in early July all these bad memories come flooding back from my childhood I just feel I'm worthless and need to be punished.

[Rachmcd in reply to mooshelley]

I'm so sorry to hear that, that can't have been easy to go through! You're not worthless, nobody is worthless! I get the urge to self punish all the time and I remind myself that each cut doesn't make it easier! It makes it twenty times harder because you feel the guilt afterwards which gives you even more of an urge to hurt yourself again. You're worth more than you give yourself credit for! You've been through so much and relapse will only set you back! Keep on moving yourself forward! There's lots of techniques you could google and a lot of them sound like shit but they really do work! It takes 21 days to form a habit and if you tell yourself everyday for 21 days that you can get through anything and that you're strong and that you will get through this you might surprise yourself!

[mooshelley in reply to Rachmcd]

I don't feel anything now when I cut. I just see the blood cover it up then just try carry on with my day. I am so low tonight very deep depression it came from nowhere. I have been at work all day had to take five mins out for a little cry. I do so wish people can see what's going on in my head because I don't know my self. Sometimes I'm just emotional then other times I have no feeling or meaning in my life.