Where to begin...

[kustinaim]

Hello, my 16th birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and I have never been more depressed in my entire life than I am right now. It is easy to pin the blame onto many things, as my life is nowhere near perfect or comfortable, but I know that this sorrow comes from within and has little to blame for everything around me.

Nevertheless, the actions of both of my parents constantly give me severe anxiety, as they are always threatening (not disciplining) me and yelling "you want us to divorce?" right into my face whenever I do something wrong, oftentimes in public areas. Furthermore, I am struggling to find myself become socially accepted both at school and at church. Although I have many friends and certainly go out on a couple occasions to hang out with some people, I find myself lonely and sorrowful and with nobody to turn to in times of need.

The trouble is, I have near perfect grades and I am perfectly amicable around other people when my parents are not around. But it's all fake, and knowing so throws me into even deeper sorrow. I find comfort in knowing other people go through similar things, especially when I learn that they overcome, but my problem is that I do not know what to do anymore.

Academically and career wise, I am pretty much set out to become an attorney. But I am living in a state of such sorrow that it is hard to go on.

My biggest problem right now is that my mother is forcing me to hold a large houseparty to celebrate my birthday. (My parents certainly both love me and want me to be happy, despite what I said.) The thought of having to invite many people over to my home gives me severe anxiety and causes me to almost breakdown. What should I do? Should I ask my mother to cancel what shes done in terms of planning the party (she's ordered quite a lot), or should I just suck it up and do my best with what she wants? Please, if anything, address my last question.

Thank you for reading, and if you do reply, know that your simple reply will likely make my day.

[Sannz]

Hi Kustinaim. Firstly, be open to your parents and let them know how u feel about it in a calm way or when they are in their best mood. May be you can make them a cake or do an activity together.

Secondly, find ur inner peace by meditating and exercising everyday. Be independent and do things that makes u happy and it doesn't involve to be with someone to do it. U can volunteer for homeless at the church or learn a new language or an instrument.

I hope u find ur way and I wish you all the best for your future.

Happy Birthday in advance