I have no one to talk to

[Chellywelly]

I feel I have no one to turn to. I have been in a relationship with someone for 5 years and I feel i have completely changed from the person I was to this horrible, fat, ugly person who is not worth anything. I am always miserable and cry every day over stuff I once would of laughed at. My partner constantly rejects me, makes me feel my opinions are stupid and always puts his self first. We both work full time shift work but it's me who does everything in the house still. People have commented at work I'm always looking miserable and I don't care about anything. Although I wouldn't kill myself I wish I was dead. Why can't I leave him?? I'm weak and stupidly still love him.

[Gambit62]

From the description you have given it does sound as if the relationship isn't really a healthy one for you. It also sounds as if you are starting to realise this but that is only part of the process of change that probably does mean leaving him. In any cycle of change denial is usually the first reaction, that tends to be followed by anger (which is often directed inwards towards ourself) and only once you've got through those can you really get to acceptance and then finally to the transformation change.

Don't be hard on yourself because love is a really difficult thing and nature has invested millennia in ensuring that it isn't something that we just walk away from at the drop of a hat.

do you have someone you really trust that you can talk to about things?

[BRN873]

Hi

I'm new to this forum, I know neither anyone or their history and I will apologise in advance if my comments fail to acknowledge specific situations and/or offend anyone.

In my experience people tend to look at what they're not getting rather than appreciating what they are getting, and invariably there are two sides to every story.

You refer to the fact that your partner appears selfish, this is a trait that my wife only levies my way, the truth in my situation is that my wife has a form (adult) of ADHD which creates a number of issues and often a tense environment, as a result I switch off, ignore her, pretend she's not there, disappear for long walks with the dog, take long showers, in fact anything to get away from her miserable persona so when she believes I am being selfish I believe it is quite the opposite - if I was selfish I would end our marriage and carry on with my comfortable life, whereas (to combat her depression she has a shopping addiction) she would very soon be financially crippled (she's been bailed out countless times by me and others) and probably homeless, I believe my wife's behavior has, over the years, changed me as a person and created (or at least contributed) to my feeling of depression right now.

You have described your situiation in a few lines, of course there's plenty more behind this and please don't feel like I've judged you what I've read, but I would urge you to look at your own behaviour and see whether your partners attitude may be linked as a result.

This could be way off line and if so I apologise, but I can only speak from my own experiences.

I hope you soon find a solutions to all your issues...

[anniebooty]

don't know what else to say besides people on here and myself are here for you xxx

[anniebooty]

stay strongxxx