I am a carer for my husband

[elaineanne1]

My husband has mental health problems, it is 10 weeks since he was out of bed and in this time he has not eaten a proper meal only milk or orange juice and biscuits. I am really struggling with this at the moment and don't know what to next. He is being treated as bipolar but he also has borderline personality disorder, his problems have been going on for at least twenty years but they have got worse in the last 10 years, he also has thyroid problems. We have no life together and I have had to make what I can of my life, I was looking forward to a holiday(all paid for) but at the last minute he refused to go.

[borderline61]

Hello. I can relate to how stressful it can be when you are caring for you partner. You are naturally concerned about this situation. You don't say if you have any other support available to you either individually or together.

You have to be sure to take care of your own health needs too. If you feel that you husband needs medical intervention and he does not accept this, I think that as his carer, you still have the right to go talk to your gp and explain your concerns and tell the gp it is having a an effect on you too. Simply to be able to inform you gp of how you are feeling might start the ball rolling for you to get some added support at this time. I don't think this is disloyal to your husband, if you get ill then what will happen to him? You may of course have a lot of support. But the fact that you are feeling at a loss about things, might suggest that you do need to talk to someone else about it. I hope this is a little helpful. I was a full time carer for my husband and it can be so upsetting your emotions are put thru the wringer. We are now separated (another story) but we are still in contact. But Ican't ever lose thet "carer" role with him. I used to do all i could to make his life better or easier. But in doing so I did neglect my own needs. There are many folk on here that will offer you a listening ear and support as they feel able. Take care. K xx