Stress and TS just do not mix. Work lately has been hell, infact it's been hell since the new contract started back in Feb. mainly due to poor leadership from the top. Most of my colleagues are in a constant whirl of confusion, as for me, I'm in the same whirl of confusion but worse as my TS has gone thru the ****ing roof. My cop. outbursts are terrible, I can't stand the things I come out with - most of which are angry and negative. I knock the system, the neighbours, and people in general, politicians, wars, and the futility of it all. I say things I know will make people stop and think about their own stupid head up arse lives. These outbursts are loud and I say stuff while hanging washing on the line. My neighbours here it all, some may have sussed I have TS others probably think I'm mad! Today though two things happened which upset me. The first was while walking my dogs in the park before work. I saw a local man who has a dog and used to talk to me in a friendly way sitting on a bench just starring at me. He totally ignored me, when I said 'hello isn't it a nice day' he just retorted 'yeah' and continued to glare at me. Something was not right. As he lives in earshot of my house I gathered the reason he was looking at me that way was because he's heard me mouthing off. The second was my immediate neighbours sons friend rushed out onto the pavement while I was having a freak out about having to work on my day off, he sniggered, then rushed back in through his front door. It made me so frigging angry I started saying nasty things about him. Calling him a sniffling, stupid 12 year old (he's 20) who doesn't work, lies in bed all day, claims job seekers allowance, has tossers as parents, basically a loser. Frankly, right now I feel everything is spiralling out of control, I hate myself for being this way and can't control it. I don't know if I should see the doctor and get signed off in order to calm down. It's a nightmare. I wish I was NORMAL!
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