OMG stress and TS - I can 't stand much more!

Stress and TS just do not mix. Work lately has been hell, infact it's been hell since the new contract started back in Feb. mainly due to poor leadership from the top. Most of my colleagues are in a constant whirl of confusion, as for me, I'm in the same whirl of confusion but worse as my TS has gone thru the ****ing roof. My cop. outbursts are terrible, I can't stand the things I come out with - most of which are angry and negative. I knock the system, the neighbours, and people in general, politicians, wars, and the futility of it all. I say things I know will make people stop and think about their own stupid head up arse lives. These outbursts are loud and I say stuff while hanging washing on the line. My neighbours here it all, some may have sussed I have TS others probably think I'm mad! Today though two things happened which upset me. The first was while walking my dogs in the park before work. I saw a local man who has a dog and used to talk to me in a friendly way sitting on a bench just starring at me. He totally ignored me, when I said 'hello isn't it a nice day' he just retorted 'yeah' and continued to glare at me. Something was not right. As he lives in earshot of my house I gathered the reason he was looking at me that way was because he's heard me mouthing off. The second was my immediate neighbours sons friend rushed out onto the pavement while I was having a freak out about having to work on my day off, he sniggered, then rushed back in through his front door. It made me so frigging angry I started saying nasty things about him. Calling him a sniffling, stupid 12 year old (he's 20) who doesn't work, lies in bed all day, claims job seekers allowance, has tossers as parents, basically a loser. Frankly, right now I feel everything is spiralling out of control, I hate myself for being this way and can't control it. I don't know if I should see the doctor and get signed off in order to calm down. It's a nightmare. I wish I was NORMAL!

6 Replies

  • No comment?... of course not. No one wants to hear something which is depressing, neg and uncomfortable to read. I REST MY CASE!

  • It's quite common for people not to reply, just because they haven't replied doesn't mean that they don't emaphise. I have written some pretty raw blog posts and not received a written reply, but have received calls from friends. It definately sounds as though you could do with some time out, have you seen your GP yet?

  • No, my GP is hopeless, gave up on visiting her years ago!

  • I know the feeling Well, i have often wondered why, but then i suffer from tourettes, and that gives me a great deal of compassion and understanding, There are time that i would like to shout out, grow up.

    Just the other day i took a train from my local station to go to arundel music festival to take a few pictures, i like taking pictures, and you can do that on tour own, you know what i mean!, anyway as i boarded the train and sat down i noticed a neighbor from across the road from where i live and he sat himself down just over the isle from me, and i noticed he recognized me, and quickly turned his face away, funny i thought i know he won't want to speak to me, but he usually at least says hello, with a smile, after 15 min of traveling i arrived at my station to change trains, and he got up to get off the train also, so i got up also to wait for the doors to open so that i could change trains, at this time he was looking everywhere but my direction, and i thought, come on give me that hello, and as he left the train he turned and said Hello, with a smile, and i said Hello, without a smile, and with a look!!, mind you i expect some people, or a lot of people, for he is not the only one, just do not know how to handle, or do not know what they are really seeing, and are frightened, or just ignorant about Tourettes, and if not, just plain nasty in a ignorant sort of way, Do they think you can catch Tourettes Syndrome!, i just can't think why people are like that, if it was me i would like to show my understanding, but then i suffer from Tourettes and that makes me special in understanding the suffering of others, So remember Heavywallbanger, its not you, it them, and their ignorance of a situation, Yes i know it still hurts like hell.

  • Yeah I know it's them. Silly asses. Thing is I wanted to walk up to the man and say 'hey stupid ass, are you not talking to me 'cos you think I'm round the bend or summit? Brings the worst out of me. People probably are, frightened, alarmed, ignorant.. etc. But they wouldn't dare ignore and blank someone with motor neurone or cerebal palsey now would they? p.s. I like the way you call me fruadian slip... it's harveywallbanger! Thanks for the post, I'll get over it, tomorrow is another day!

  • Sorry about that name slip, i am now LOL, and you are right they wouldn't dare blank motor neurone or cerebral palsey, or would they?.

You may also like...