Louder than Bombs

[catherinem]

Shhhhh….my head hurts, I’ve taken some paracetamol, but that isn’t working, everything smells bad, particularly outside, it smells like one of the local farmers has been muck spreading, but he hasn’t, so a walk to the shop didn’t help, Pete hovering on my return certainly didn’t help, in go the ear plugs. So, here I am with a warm wheat/lavender thingy around my neck, the pain is down the left side of my head, it’s also down the left side of my neck, my left shoulder and shoulder blade and when I move my left arm. I’m missing my aromatherapist, it’s been a long time since I saw her last, I am in desperate need of her attention, a good firm massage to help ease up those knotted tense muscles. If there are any volunteers (male and pleasing to the eye would be preferable) that could come round to sort me out I’d be very happy and I’d be very happy to come to sort of skills exchange arrangement. At this point I am quite relived that I failed my CBT (that’s compulsory basic training for motorcyclists) as having to perform a lifesaver to the left (that’s looking over your shoulder to check for on-coming vehicles) would be impossible.

On the plus side two tic-friendly items have arrived, firstly a plastic knife, unfortunately it doesn’t cut very well, but on the plus side it doesn’t hurt when I drop it on my feet whilst clapping or making rude gestures at the vegetables. Secondly an “anti-tea-flinging cup” this is actually pretty good, it’s basically a red handless cup with white polka dots and a silicone lid, perfect for those around me when my left arm is in the mood for tea-flinging. Incidentally I’ve just found that Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” is sticky after a tea-flinging incident, sticky brown stuff all over Stevie Nicks.

However, the most distressing tic/s for me at the moment is are a group of disgusting grunts and throat clearing motions, I’ve been cutting down my consumption of dairy products, that’s less cheese, I only drink soya milk anyway, I been Hopi candled, that didn’t do much either and I’ve been drinking squash by the bucket load. These tics leave my mouth and throat dry, I frequently have a sore throat and I’ve had mouth ulcers in my throat. I don’t know if that’s due to constant throat clearing or the Carbamazapine. Something else that I’m finding distressing is my teeth, I do worry about my teeth and they’re particularly sensitive at the moment, I have been grinding and gnashing away to the point that they are VERY sensitive and my jaw often hurt, I have got a gumsheild type of thing that I wear, but as I like eating, talking and drinking I often take it out. I have also been throat clearing in my sleep, apparently I’ve been keeping my other half awake when I’ve finally dropped off awake with my constant throat clearing. This lack of sleep on both my part and his doesn’t make for a harmonious household, I’m crabby (don’t even f****** talk to me) and he’s even worse. I have been given sleeping tablets – Zopiclone, by my psychiatrist, but they DON’T WORK, I have tried them 3 times now and it’s been until at least 3am until I have finally dropped off to sleep. I feel really tired now; I could quite easily have a little nap.

I also have a dilemma, both myself and my partner have been invited to some kind of family gathering, his relative, he’s not even sure who it is his family is so big. If it was my family I’d happily go along, however his dad isn’t very comfortable with my cop, I have been asked that “if you do THAT can you do it in the bathroom or the garden way from the kids” I must stress also that the youngest of the “kids” is almost 14 and when her grandparents are out of earshot could out swear any Viz character. It’s just that a lot of these relatives I don’t know and being in tow with somebody who doesn’t really get this “Tourette’s thing” I feel that the best place for me would be hiding in the ladies as I just can’t fulfill my partners request to just “not do that”(coprolalia). I think I might stay in and wax my legs.