Slightly confused (and a bit depressed!)

[Fulltimemuso]

So, I'm definitely having a 'spike' at the moment. I'm REALLY aware of my tinnitus and it's depressing for several reasons :

1) I don't understand it

2) I thought it was getting better

3) I support myself and my teen daughter solely through being a singer, and I worry about money if I couldn't gig

4) I've been trying different earplugs and it's hard to enjoy the music (and connect properly with the audience) with them in.

5) Even though I'd been wearing plugs for last few months, the T still seems to be as bad (if not worse)

One specific question I hope someone could help with is this :

Q : If I already have lost that top end of the frequency range of hearing, why do I still need to protect myself from THOSE sounds? How can the high frequency range still be damaging my hearing if I can no longer hear it anyway? So why would it not be better to just STOP using the earplugs? My instinct tell me to protect my hearing still, but I just don't understand exactly why. Anyone?

I'm worried that part of the reason I enjoy music performing, is the fact I can hear it well, and also the connection with the audience. If I take away those two things, will I still enjoy what is left? I'm worried about it.

If anyone could chat with me about this stuff it would be appreciated.

I'm a major over thinker/worrier anyway, and I just feel I have so many options right now - and I'm not sure what to do. Play acoustic gigs more quietly? Persevere with the ear plugs?

Thanks guys

[Happyrosie]

I can’t answer your questions myself, but have you looked at the website of Tinnitus UK?

[doglover1973]

Hi  Fulltimemuso I'm sorry you're confused and a little depressed. Anxiety / worry can make T worse. Always protect your ears. It's essential. Hearing is very valuable.. I'm partially deaf in one ear but still protect it from loud noise because I don't want to go completely deaf. Hope this helps a little. There are musicians on the forum who will be able to shed more light on the matter .

[Dinah48]

you might also want to try googling for a local group. I attended a session and it helped a lot to talk with people suffering the same anxiety and worries that I had.

[Sonnybee]

Hi there. Firstly, all those emotions your feeling are normal tinnitus emotions. I played in a metal band for years, with no ear protection, I now play some solo acoustic gigs, with protection. I have lost all the high frequencies in my right ear, and some low frequencies in my left ear. Proper musicians ear plugs reduce the sound across ALL the frequencies, allowing a better balance of sound. Ordinary ear plugs just block peaks, making it sound slightly unnatural. But I do agree its not ideal. Singers will always experience more noise as your own voice comes from inside your head!! The way I look at it, is, if I damage my hearing any more by not using protection, I will have less hearing, but still have the tinnitus, making it sound even louder. Persevere with the plugs, maybe as you say, have more acoustic type sets. Also try to get on with your music, with as little tinnitus avoidance behaviour as you can. The more avoidance tactics we use, the more important we make the tinnitus. Thats the basics of CBT. Enjoy your music and take care.

[Bellyboo in reply to Sonnybee]

Hi

After 40 yrs of T I think I’ve made a discovery in my own case. I’ve had 3 huge spikes in the last year when I’ve been desperate and reached out for the sleeping pills.

The last one was 4 days ago and it followed an occasion where I had my earphones on to watch a film ! The volume was on loud because my T was high and I couldn’t concentrate on the film. An hour into the film I took them off as my T was exploding in my head and I never slept that evening worrying…..

In the morning the T went back to normal as it always does though normal for me is severe and I thought I had habituated. The other time it happened followed a plane journey whereas I’d watched about 3 film long haul on my I pad with the volume on maximum! Once again my T was excruciatingly loud and triggering my fight / flight response in a foreign land. The reason I have T in the first place is predominantly because of excessive earphone noise from the old Sony Walkman in the 70s where I had them on constantly on full blast even all night till the tape finished. So YES protect your ears any way you can. I have only just put 2 and 2 together regarding my own Tinnitus of 40 yrs +. I wear earphones now and I’m 71 yrs old.

[Sonnybee in reply to Bellyboo]

Yeah. Funny enough, earphones upsets mine too, particularly the over ear noise cancelling ones. I now use shokz bone conductors at a low level, which are superb. When you think of it, blasting high level sound exclusively into the ear canal is never a good idea!!

[Darren6]

Hi Fulltimemuso,

FYI there is an online support group run by Tinnitus UK dedicated to musicians with Tinnitus. Next meet is Jan 8th, they are monthly.

eventbrite.com/cc/tinnitus-...

[woodman72]

So a couple of questions first... Are you singing with a band ? Are your ear plugs professional moulded ones ? You have to have the right plugs to protect your hearing when performing. Your high end hearing loss is probably due to the music, as is mine....Biffy Clyro live is too loud !! You may think your T is getting worse, but this could be just that your anxiety about it is increasing, you have to work on calming down.

My son is a professional musician and he tells me that most musicians he knows don't protect their hearing properly, and most of them are a bit deaf! I would imagine that singing with ear plugs in must be difficult, but performing with a band without them could make your hearing worse and therefore your T too. I love music too because it masks the T, which is ironic, because it is also the cause of the T!!

I would say, keep doing what you love, protect your hearing when you can (get advice on that) work on staying calm, and don't go to Biffy Clyro gigs😅. Good luck.

[Fulltimemuso in reply to woodman72]

Thanks for this, I sing in care homes but in the past was a pro-keyboardist with bands.

Ironically, I think it is the care home performing that seems to have caused the tinnitus! For many years I just played a solo act in the homes with accordion and didn't have any issues. The last year or so I switched to performing with backing tracks I'd made. I actually made them to try and create a 'live band' type of sound, and got so good column PA amplification. These systems provide amazing clarity, and actually my sound on the gigs is really good. TOO good! There is a lot of top end frequencies from the drums track, and then my vocal is trying to compete over the top. Even more high frequencies! I spent out on the best senheiser mic I could find, and the reason I like it? It's got amazing top end.

I think this has all added up to my ears getting blasted with very high frequency sound for a couple of hours most days. Even though to the audience, it hopefully doesn't seem excessively loud - to me it's causing big issues.

I wore some basic earplugs for a few months, but noticed the tinnitus was still bad. Then I switched to my pro-moulded plugs (which I find a bit distracting). Even with these I'm having issues, my voice is resonating so loudly with certain vowel sounds - it's hard to get used to.

It's depressing me, I can feel it. I keep trying different things, try to stay positive, but it's taking a toll on me I know. I've been doing the care homes for about 10 years on and off and I love it. I quit all my other band gigs and evening work, to focus on care homes. My diary is full, which I'm so happy about! But I'm also starting to dread each gig. It's horrible.

Anyway, on a positive note - I have a plan! I'm trying to remix my tracks for a new 'acoustic' style sound - that is more controlled and a low-key vibe (good for the homes anyway), also I'm getting a new set of moulds made ASAP and try a few tweaks on the impressions to get a better result from them.

Any other ideas?

[TinnitusUKPat Partner]

I think I've suggested our Musician-focussed support group before, but for anyone reading this thread who isn't aware, details of it are here: tinnitus.org.uk/event/music...