Morning distress

[Fedal_84]

Hi all, its a lovely sunny start today which is great. I wanted to ask if anyone had any advise on the following please? My Tinnitus which I've had for 8 months now is low tone and present in completely silent settings. Sleep is a very strange and challenging thing for me. In the day time i get by as its not really audible unless I'm in a super quiet room, I have the radio on through the day, i get outside as much as i can (in the beginning it was audible outside too)

I can get to sleep whilst hearing the Tinnitus noise generally fine as I'm tired and by and large focus on other sounds such as my breathing and my daughter and wife.

The biggest problem now is waking up, i never sleep for longer than say 11pm until 5-5:30 am seems to be the time i naturally wake. But once i go to the toilet, have my water as I'm always thirsty and i think i drink enough daytime i cannot get back to sleep and my tinnitus noise is always much worse and perceived volume is much louder as maybe the room is even quieter than going to sleep? I then get so frustrated as its much louder and more of a constant low roaring quality to it that i cannot tune in to any other sound. I don't know if its worse as I'm groggy and tired or what. I want to wake up and just ignore it and sort of go meh but I'm so frustrated I'm still not there 8 months in. I don't want to play white noise to wake the girls up and for me myself I find it irritating and tend to avoid it. The natural maskers for me are central heating noise when that comes on downstairs, shower fans etc and I find myself waiting for the heating to come on to help i but i know its the wrong approach as I'm depending too much upon it. The problem is I'm tired and don't really want to get up but shaking the focus on T is I feel impossible and over the last month its shown no progression there whatsoever.

I was I thought mentally doing a little better with coping but its gotten on top of me again and feel like Bill Murray in Groundhogs day but without the happy ending and just praying for some sort of Mute button I don't know if its possible to habituate basically to those silent times when you hear it since my tinnitus is not super loud

[Happyrosie]

Hello Fedal. Just like me! When I can’t get back to sleep after waking at say three o’clock I get up and sit in my armchair with a book. I can lose myself in a book. No noise do yes I can hear T. I don’t turn the heating on so I get a bit chilled. This means I return to bed at say five or six o’clock and it’s nice and warm so I fall asleep again quite quickly You might try this out.

[doglover1973]

Hi Fedal. I have the same issue. I nearly always wake at 5am. I haven't found a way to solve this yet - except by going to bed at 9pm - which isn't always possible. My tinnitus is louder early morning too . I don't mind so much because for the first 6 months I was only sleeping 2 - 4 hours so it's an improvement for me. You might find as time goes on that you get used to it and go back to sleep. All the best.

[White-noise]

Hi Fedal. Mines is the same in the morning. The mornings are a struggle for me. They always have been since having T. My ears scream so loud and can usually listen to white noise and calm them down a bit but it’s not happening this time. It’s been mths. I no exactly what you mean about ground hog day. It is like that. I wake up exhausted every morning. I can’t get tuned into my distraction noises. With lockdown since last year there has been a lot of noise around me and I’m getting so stressed out. I need a week to myself to try and get my T low again. It’s so so loud I can hardly hear. My left ear keeps blocking and my T goes pure loud. Does anyone else get this. Even running water doesn’t sound like running water and other noises, have to keep asking my daughter what’s that noise. Does anyone else have a dread of speaking on the phone. Iv had a sore head for 2 days now. The sun out here to and I’m in my room with curtains closed I can’t face today. T with me and Iv read other’s stories from British tinnitus association that some people and myself fall into a darkness from time to time and you try so hard not to fall into that hole. It’s a fight to stay out it but sometimes Iv not got energy to fight it and I let go and go there and then climb back up that hole again. I hope this makes sense. Dog lover and happy Rosie thank you again for being there. My daughter is moving out soon. She can be quite loud and doesn’t get it about T. Some people can feed your T with being noisy. I think I need a few weeks to myself to get my T toned down a bit. I honestly could scream at times. I’m glad I’m back on here.

[doglover1973 in reply to White-noise]

Hello Bella my love. It sounds like you need some peace and quiet. Time to yourself to rest and relax . Tinnitus makes everything harder I know. Remember .. you can only do your best. If you need to lie down in a dark room that's waht you should do. Be kind to yourself at all times 🙂

[White-noise in reply to doglover1973]

Thank you so much doglover. I really do need time and space. My daughter and husband broke up last year and she had to move back in with me and my 22mths granddaughter. That’s her age the now last year grand daughter was just 1 year old. I love them being here and I no I’m blessed with seeing granddaughter every day. 100% I’m grateful. It’s the noises that’s in the house now my daughter always asks can you do this that and the next thing and looks at me as if to say why are you not doing this that and the next thing. I’m a very quiet person and never loose my rag but I feel so frustrated. My other daughter only moved out last year. They both are 29 years old and 30 years old. The 29 year old was constantly on at me. She now can see she was to heavy on me when she lived with me. I have always put them first as there dad was to wrapped up in himself when we split 20 years ago. On my bad days I can’t say anything when my daughter asks me to do things. I just do it and then I suffer later in silence when I’m in my bedroom. My family joke behind my back thinking i listen to white noise for the sake of it. They don’t realize it kills me more than they no that I can’t do the things I loved doing and I can’t commit to something. My family are loud. In a good way. I can’t keep up with group conversation. My daughter and granddaughter are looking to move to their new home soon. I think I will be like this until i get some peace and quiet. My daughter asked if I would be able to watch granddaughter for a week if her work asked her to go somewhere over seas. I can hardly look after myself and I said the father will want to look after her. Sorry for all this out pouring. It’s so hard to stay stress free the now. I feel terrible that my mind is saying can’t wait till my daughter moves out. And she doesn’t want to hear about virus updates that also stresses me out. Please no one think I’m not grateful for having daughter here. It’s hard to live with someone that doesn’t get it. I constantly feel exhausted the now. I no it’s because my T so loud in both ears. I hope you’re alright dog lover. Thank you again.

[doglover1973 in reply to White-noise]

I understand. Families are a mixed blessing. I have a big family. I love them dearly but they test my patience. I've learned that you can love your family without having to do everything they want you to do. Be firm. Draw up your boundaries and stick to them. They'll accept the new status quo in the end. I'm sure your daughters appreciate you even if it doesn't alwyas seem as if they do. They're lucky to have you. Hang in there Bella. Hopefully the peace and quiet will come soon.

[White-noise in reply to doglover1973]

Hi doglover. Thank you so so much for giving me focus. Your message totally makes sense and spot on with everything you have said. You have given me the strength and courage to set those boundaries and stick to them knowing that I’m not a bad person if I don’t want to do family rules. You’re right I need to do this for me. Thank you so much again. If I couldn’t be honest on how I felt on this I would still be sitting with that feeling of dread and fear. Your message has put a spring in my step because I no I’m not alone and I on here I have so much support and guidance. Thank you a million times over.