Need help coping

[Lovelyelephant]

Hi. Suffering with T and all the associated stuff - stress, anxiety, not being able to cope. Very bad today and don't know what to do with myself. Worry about how bad it could get. How do people cope? Feel I'm living in a nightmare.

[doglover1973]

Hello Lovelyelephant. So sorry to hear you have tinnitus. I was where you are last summer. It feels like you just want to curl up and die I know. First thing to do is go to your GP. Second join the BTA. Third read Living with Tinnitus by Mckenna, Baguley & McFerran. It's written with such compassion it made me cry - in a good way. By the time you've done all those things you'll start to see a glimmer of light. Hope this helps a little.

[rabbits65 in reply to doglover1973]

Hello lovely elephantYes , your not alone and it certainly

is difficult to get accustomed to,

Different people have tinnitus to different degrees . I have found great comfort on this forum .

You realise that your not alone.

For me it helps to walk out in the fresh air and feel the breeze going through your hair and ears , listening to nature etc. As doglover has stated good books too .

I wish you luck , the brain does adapt to some extent.

[Lovelyelephant in reply to rabbits65]

Hi rabbits65 thanks for your reply. My dog has kept me sane and I spend a lot of time walking which does help. It's just the inconsistency that gets to me - good days/bad days and I don't feel I am in control. On bad days the panic just takes over. Very scarey!!

[rabbits65 in reply to Lovelyelephant]

Hello lovely elephant,I understand the panic , because I still get into a panic and say sometimes , what if my head explodes!!!!! I give myself a talking too and realise I am not alone in this subject... I too have two lively poodles that I walk and to hear the nature and birds help . I do hope you feel better soon and that the panic side of it goes away . and better still the T might ease up and go away. I live in hope, that my head and ear will get better, I know maybe it won’t but we do have to try and “ live in hope” best wishes

From Penny

[Lovelyelephant in reply to doglover1973]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have been to my GP and have an appointment with audiology on 1 April. I have been on the BTA website. Thanks for the book recommendation. I will send off for it. Just wanting a good nights sleep at the moment!!

[doglover1973 in reply to Lovelyelephant]

Nice work! That's a really quick appointment. I know exactly what you mean about sleep .. Or lack of it. I wrestled for three months or so. It's very unpleasant. Then one night I just slept a little bit more than the usual 2 -3 hours. And each night got a little better than the last. The sleep will come. Just hang in there.

[Lovelyelephant in reply to doglover1973]

Did you ever try any medical intervention to help you sleep? Obviously I don't want to be reliant on anything but wondered if it might help in the short term to help me relax

[doglover1973 in reply to Lovelyelephant]

Hello LE. At first I resisted medical help .. but I eventually took phenergan twice a week for about six weeks and then cut down to once a week for a further six weeks. I was afraid of making things worse but it was fine. There were no side effects at all. Just a nice sleepy feeling . I only take it now if my T is very loud.

[Lovelyelephant in reply to doglover1973]

Thanks for that. I will make a note of it and ask my doctor about it. I think a good night's sleep will really make a difference for me.

[Hla20]

Hello,

These social restrictions due to covid don’t help at all, but try to get outside as much as you can & just have natural sounds around you as best possible. Agree with other comments, reading has been a really great outlet for me - I hadn’t picked up a book for years, now I can’t be without my daily reading time before bed to chill out a bit. Yoga. Breathing techniques. Hot baths also help me, with window open slightly to hear birds / wind etc or soothing music via an app. It’s temporary rest & release but it may help settle the anxiety & stress for a short time. Take care x

[Lovelyelephant in reply to Hla20]

Hello Hla20. I am so glad you have found ways of coping and I hope things continue to improve for you.

[Villefranche]

Hi, did you identify the trigger? You don’t want to be feeding it. I still find bird song in nature to be the best relief.. hope you find distraction soon...

[Lovelyelephant in reply to Villefranche]

Hi Villefranche. I have had T for a number of years which was very mild. Then I had a vertigo attack last September and the severity increased. Had an MRI which showed nothing sinister so I know it is just a case of learning to cope. Finding that quite hard at the moment. I do enjoy watching the birds in the garden and listening to birdsong

[bantams]

Hi Lovelyelephent, know how you are feeling, I was just the same 15 months ago when my Tinnitus started. The worse thing you can do is to be in a quiet place feeling sorry for yourself which I know is easier said than done. As other people have said the best thing is keep your mind busy, it does get better over time to accept and live with your Tinnitus.I still have bad days but I tell myself I can get through the bad days. I have moderate hearing loss and wear hearing aids which do help with my Tinnitus, downside is the Tinnitus seems very loud when I take them out at night, but I would suggest you get your hearing checked.

All the best and hope things get better for you soon.

[Lovelyelephant in reply to bantams]

Hello bantams. I certainly don't like being on my own. Hate Mondays and Tuesdays when my husband is at work. I try to save jobs for those days to keep busy. Do you use sound therapy at night? Sometimes it works for me (although I haven't slept through the night in weeks) and sometimes it just seems to exacerbate the T. I hate when it's time to go to bed. Thanks for your kind words

[bantams in reply to Lovelyelephant]

Hi Lovelyelephant, Thanks for your reply, No I do not use any sound therapy at night, I did struggle at first to fall asleep and would often wake up during the night but now that I have got used to living with Tinnitus I do manage to sleep ok.I do think that once a lot of the Covid restrictions have been lifted, that you find you can cope with your Tinnitus better.

Keep Well

[Lovelyelephant in reply to bantams]

I hope you are right. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. Much appreciated.

[TinnitusUKPat Partner]

Hi Lovelyelephant. Nothing to add, really, as our ace community is displaying the compassion and support that I've come to expect from them.

If you can, try not to view tinnitus as a condition which can only get worse - don't let that be your default belief about it. T can change - it can be quieter, so why not have that as a go-to idea? "It's bad right now, but when I'm a calmer place, it can be manageable. So what can I do to get back to that calmer place?"

Take care and thank you for posting.

[Lovelyelephant in reply to TinnitusUKPat]

Thank you BTAPat for your reply. I really will try to get into that mindset. If someone guaranteed it would get no worse I could probably cope better - it's the unknown that scares me. I think it's just that over the past few weeks it has deteriorated so much with just the odd better day in this time. I know I need to be stronger mentally. Just so tired at the moment. But I promise I will try and be more optimistic. Thank you

[TinnitusUKPat Partner in reply to Lovelyelephant]

It's not always easy to stay positive, LovelyElephant. The unknown can be scary or make us anxious - being prepared for something makes it sometimes easier to cope with and tinnitus doesn't always offer us those kinds of certainties.

For a bad day to exist, though, we have to acknowledge that good days and middling days also happen. Knowing that this difference exists often helps me if I feel that things are only on a downward trajectory - to get myself out of a funk, I sometimes have to challenge my assumptions and beliefs.

unsplash.com/photos/cO7zI0l...

[Lovelyelephant in reply to TinnitusUKPat]

Thank you xx

[EmilyD-BTA Moderator]

Hi Lovelyelephant , in addition to what others have said, I wanted to let you know about our online tinnitus support groups. They've been so helpful for people because you can meet others who are in a similar place or have actually found ways to cope with their tinnitus and want to help others. You can find all the details about when they meet here: tinnitus.org.uk/online-supp...

[Lovelyelephant in reply to EmilyD-BTA]

Thank you EmilyD. I will definitely have a look at that. It would be nice to meet up with people once we are allowed

[elsieadams]

I have it very bad some days to and feel like sticking my head in a bucket. A couple of years back I did see my GP about this and all he did was refer me to a hearing specialist. They did some hearing tests and my right ear is sensitive to certain tones and a few I can not hear. I was told I did not need hearing aids at that point in time. I keep telling people that it is coming from my head and they do not seem to understand what an awful situation this is. I find that getting out of the city and walking in the country helps alot. As you are enjoying the sounds of nature. Sometimes I wonder if the EMF is a factor for setting off these sounds in my head. All I know is that the sound mimics what pitch you would hear standing next to a power station. Listening to white noise also provides some relief. As days go by some are not so bad and others seem unbearable. The medical society should have something to help us but so far nothing. And, it is a nightmare for sure.

[Lovelyelephant in reply to elsieadams]

Hi elsieadams. Sorry you are going through bad days too. I do walk a lot with my dog. I am lucky that we have a lovely park five minutes walk away so I make good use of that. I am trying to eat well, not drink alcohol and look after myself. Have you listened to Julian Cowan Hill or Ben Robertson on YouTube? I have found these quite helpful. Take care