Im in a dark place right now

Im in a dark place right now

Im 51 yrs old and had a full, 100 mph life going when I was struck down with Graves disease so bad they immediately took both my thyroid and para thyroid (2009). Since then Ive gotten levels we can not seem to get to a safe level, Addison's disease and keep going into adrenal failure, Severe Vitamin deficiencies which has caused, Osteoporosis/Brittle bones, A damaged heart valve, I cant walk, drive, play with my grand children or even get to any of there school things. My life now consist of a 8x10 room 24-7 unless Im in hospital room not much different to me. Ive begged for better care of my T3 with no avail, Ive begged for rehab to help get me walking which has been a three yr fight that i lost with insurance. Insurance has also stopped my trigger point therapies which were helping me with pain and mobility. Ive fought a long hard battle these past 5/6 yrs and have tried everything possible including Native American herbs, which r awesome and help some, but hard to get and afford. Ive tried all kinds of holistic therapies which I can no longer afford, but r very affective.. I try my best with meditation, yoga, tai-chi, Qi-gong to help my balance and strength, but Im so weak and its so painful this will be an extremely long time before this will get me where I need to be. Im on a superfood diet and extremely high doses of Vitamins and still cant get these levels up, I dont think Im absorbing them, so i begged for IV Vitamin Therapy and was told unless my kidneys fail I cant get it unless I drive 100s of miles a week to a holistic center that does it for a high fee.

Anyways this has taken me to a really dark place, where Im ready to give in and just face it that Ill be in this bed/room till I die my old life is gone for good. I really dont know where to take this. My body and mind wants to just lay here and wait to die, but my heart keeps getting obsessed that I can find some way of healing and getting some life back. How I really dont know. Im just afraid if I dont find it soon Im will give up and will myself to death. I mean why stay and suffer, make others suffer taking care of me. I cant even do the things I enjoy and that gives me life, like my advocate and activist work, being in nature camping and hiking, can sew or craft stuff anymore. I feel like a wasted piece of flesh just hanging on...My heart goes out to all who suffer in silence and out loud. I Pray for us all...II know my thoughts above may be scatter brained and all over the place I all I can say is Im sorry, but Im just that all over the place...Thanks for taking a moment to listen and if anyone has any advice or Idea I havent tried yet please, please let me know...Blessings

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  • Hi Wolfe . Big hugs you are not alone I wrote all my problems in the UK healthunlocked .com. I too have had a thyroidectomy almost 2yrs ago but unfortuneately I still have problems. But I am detained to beat this. Have you tried gluten free diet . I have bloating and abdo pain and was found to be gluten intolerant. Was not before I got sick and severe eye swelling and was diagnosed with Graves' disease . I have had tachycardia for most of my life that I can remember but I was only young and was diagnosed as highly strung lol and later in 20 as a pathway disease. My own daughter at 3yrs told me her chest was thumping I had her checked out by a paediatrician and my and her holster ECG readings looked similar thus was diagnosed the same. We have a big history on both sides of my family of graves or hyperthyroid disease eg on fathers side 3 aunts and grandmother on mothers side 1aunt and grandmother. Not lucky there with genetics. So please do not give up do not let this disease beat you, you are not alone.