Tomorrow at 3:40 I have a wellbeing /absence meeting at work as I haven't been well or in for a few weeks.
My husband says it's important to go and show them how ill I am. By that time of day I feel shattered and usually lay down until 5 then decide if I am up to heating up some dinner or not.
My fatigue and muscle weakness has been bad and my emotional lability basically just needs someone to look at me to set it off. I get so tired by then that it feels like my body is telling me to get people to shut up if they speak to me so I can lay down.
Tips on conducting myself in a meeting where I'm not sure I will be able to listen to them.
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Obsdian
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I tend to agree with your husband's thesis about showing how ill you are as it would demonstrate to your workplace the nature of the condition.
Could they come to you at home?
Would it be possible for your husband to attend? He could also advocate for you and provide information to support your case, especially if brain fog is a problem. He could also make notes so you don't feel so pressured.
When my husband accompanied me to an incapacity benefit assessment, it seemed to make a difference. Then again, he made it very clear that he was recording the meeting (he didn't want me to have to go through an appeal again and suffer the attendant stress and impact on health).
It's very hard as we hope for compassion from colleagues and personnel and shouldn't have to go through such difficult measures to prove ourselves.
I work for a school for special needs children. My work environment is different than most and decently supportive. But I sometimes feel that despite being in an environment where disability is the main focus, it is often forgotten that adults can have them too.
Also, there is VERY high staff turnover and absences from the challenge of working with the kids that I feel or am worried about getting classed with people who take days off without actual illness.
It's also my own past experiences with disability (different than hashimoto's and hypothyroidism) in other environments that makes me suspicious or untrusting of the process.
On another topic, got zero pointson my first PIP claim. Waiting on the reconsideration. My husband has been doing hid research and intends to be there at the appeal (really we're assuming a fail to the reconsideration as well). He plans to speak and record.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It's really stressful. PIP is a nonsense as it is skewed against some conditions and biased towards others.
The fact that your workplace has regular absences and turnover is concerning and I can understand your qualms re: others' perceptions. It shouldn't be like this but it's a cross we have to bear, sadly.
I hope you have peace as to how to proceed with the meeting, that your PIP appeal is successful and that justice will be done.
I found it very difficult to fight my own corner twenty + years ago. It’s very difficult to advocate for yourself especially with total lack of support or understanding from medics.
If you can - prepare a statement beforehand. If you can’t turn up for any reason you can have your Union rep read it and hand it in,
If you do manage to go to the meeting you can hand it over as your ‘defence’ and allow them to ask questions. You therefore control the meeting better by setting the agenda. Try to keep it fairly simple/bland. I know I always try to give too much information.
My cardio told me recently she did not want to know about my past. It riled me because I think it’s important -but they don’t. Just concentrate on right now, the absolute immediate past and the difficulty you experienced over getting there. No whys and wherefores, just facts.
I hope I use this experience with my cardio for my new endo appointment soon.
Somebody gave an answer to me recently on the Forum (thank you sorry can’t name you) which was highly amusing. Apparently it was a Churchill quote along the lines of “If I had more time I would have answered more succinctly”. I know it’s not accurate but I hope you get the meaning.
Can you take a friend in with you who can confirm how ill you feel? The fact that where you work has a high turnover is concerning, as companies who do care for their staff tend to have a loyal workforce. Dont put on a brave front, look them straight in the eye and tell them you want to work, but at the moment you are not well enough.
Nearly everyone who is not clinically dead fails PIP the first time, but the appeal rate to get PIP is quite high. This is deliberate but cruel for those who genuinely need help. Keep going on that one.
I work in special needs education. Its in a horrible state of under funding and under paying staff for hard work with difficult children and personal care. Lots start not knowing what it involves and leave due to low pay for hard work.
Before I got hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's I worked in one of the two hardest classes in the school with children with severe needs and behavior issues. Loved it. But have since had to switch to a classes with physical and medical needs that is less physically demanding for me.
My list came in handy. I left it with them to use for the occupational health assessment request.
They want me to get signed off for a few more weeks as I don't sound like going from how ill I was to work ready is possible yet. But, I can come back sooner if things change. Also they want to base things on what occupational health may say and probably a staggered return to work.
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