How are you, dear? Alright? (off subject - but not really)

[greygoose]

We were talking about this just the other day, people asking you how you are without really wanting to know, and what to reply...

My neighbour rang me this morning - ostensibly to tell me that what I laughingly call 'The Grass' (actually 10 square feet of stinging nettles) wanted cutting again - but that's another story...

"Tu vas bien?" he asked

"Bof," I said. "And yourself?"

"Oh," he said, "I'm ill again. Got a terrible sore throat."

"There's a lot of it about," I said. "Just this morning my granddaughter said to me, 'nan,' she said, 'I've got a terrible sore throat'. I've got a problem with my side door."

"Right," he said, "I'm standing right by your side door."

"I'll come down," I said.

So, I went down, and showed him the problem.

"I can probably fix that," he said, "next time I'm in the area." He travels a lot, you see.

So, we went for a little walk to have a look at the local drain pipes. Then, sat down on a bench for a natter about the state of said drain pipes, and the trees at the end of the garden that wanted pruning again. "You planted the wrong trees," he said. "You should have planted short ones, those are too tall."

"We learn by experience", I said.

And we talked about the difficulty finding someone to fix the roof, and the impossiblity of finding a good plumber, and his friend who was very ill...

And by the time we parted company, he was in much higher spirits. We really should let people tell us how they really are. Even if we can't do anything about it. It's a kindness.

[BumbleyM]

A refreshing tale; time well spent.

[greygoose in reply to BumbleyM]

Thank you.

[ZeilaJee in reply to greygoose]

Like your writing style! Good tale, good point. Thank you

[greygoose in reply to ZeilaJee]

You're welcome.

[DippyDame]

Everyone is in such a hurry now that " listening" is lost amid the noise and chaos.

People need to take more time to " sit down on a bench for a natter". And take time to communicate and understand one another.... then we might criticise less and understand and appreciate more.

I'm old now... but not in my head!

I grew up in a time just after WW2 when just being alive was all that mattered. What short memories we humans have!

We should "learn by experience" but I doubt we truly do.

I now have a lovely picture in my head of you and your neighbour sitting on that bench quietly putting the world to rights!

Thank you for that greygoose x

[greygoose in reply to DippyDame]

You're welcome.

[greygoose in reply to greygoose]

Talking about life just after the war, and just being alive, I really don't know how we managed to survive. I came across this photo the other day of the weekly ration for an adult in 1945. How did we live on that?

Weekly ration in 1945

[JGBH]

indeed… listening has become an obsolete skill in this crazy digital age. Nevertheless, bonne journée…

[greygoose in reply to JGBH]

Merci bien.

[JGBH in reply to greygoose]

😊

[Fruitandnutcase]

What a lovely neighbourly conversation, I can just picture it all in my head. Hope he’s back on the neighbourhood soon and can fix your side door for you.

[greygoose in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

Yes, I hope so too. It's always a pleasure to see him. And the side door is a little concerning...

[elwins]

what a lovely story, I have a friend who is nearly 90 she suffers with her eye sight but she always says one of the things I can do is be a listening ear, she forgets she has problems herself.

[greygoose]

We all have us problems! The trick is not to become totally absorbed by them. Difficult I know, but...

[mintgreenish in reply to greygoose]

Loved, loved ,loved and so true!

[greygoose in reply to mintgreenish]

Thank you.

[helvella Administrator]

"Bof". You forced me to go off and check my understanding. (Almost no French except a few fragments from schooldays.)

Did you know that Bof was used massively more frequently in 1955-8 than ever before or since?

[greygoose in reply to helvella]

lol Well, I wasn't in France during that time, but it's still used pretty frequantly now. It's a wonderful word. It can mean anything you want it to and everybody understands. It would be such a shame if it went out of fashion.

[Rosebud1955]

Thank you for that GG. That last sentence touched my hear, almost to the point of tears. Sometimes all one needs is pair of listening ears. One might not have the solution, but just allowing the other person to vent is indeed kindness. Bless your heart ! 🙏🏻

[greygoose in reply to Rosebud1955]

You're welcome.

[SunshineHPower]

It's so important to listen to others, and there is a real art to it.

thank you for sharing 😀

[greygoose in reply to SunshineHPower]

You're welcome.

[HealthStarDust]

I must admit, I make it a point though it’s mostly habit to tell people exactly how I feel when asked. And, when I ask them how they are I genuinely want to know. If I don’t, I normally just ask ‘what’s new with you’ instead of how are you.

[greygoose in reply to HealthStarDust]

Good idea.

[HealthStarDust in reply to greygoose]

I have some sometimes.