Came across this article discussing the types of disrespectful behaviour found in healthcare settings and found it interesting that this is something that has actually been studied! I thought it would relevant and interesting to some of you.
How many of these disrespectful behaviours have... - Thyroid UK
How many of these disrespectful behaviours have you experienced from your doctors?
Written by
Zazbag
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41 Replies
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Interesting...
As a patient I've come across several of these, although I interpreted the article as being mainly about disrespectful behaviour between staff (including doctors). I could have got the wrong end of the stick though.
Yeah I think you're right, but reading down the list I realised I've also had that behaviour directed at myself. I guess it will bleed out to patients if that's their working environment.
I would guess that staff who are horrible to their colleagues would also be more likely to be horrible to their patients.
Exactly. It was the "dismissive treatment" section that especially struck a chord. The NHS is in the toilet these days.
I recognise behaviours from several sections, although not all.
Some of the commonest I deal with are (not all mentioned in the report) :
rolling eyes at me
total lack of interest
eyes glazing over
making it clear that they don't believe a word I say
acting like a brick wall - refusing to diagnose, refusing to suggest treatment, just making it clear they are waiting for me to go
minimising what I say and always assuming that I'm exaggerating
I can relate to all of that too. And I was so used to it that I failed to recognise how disrespectful it really is. So I think the article is quite validating. Makes me realise why I leave most interactions with doctors feeling very angry.
I try and avoid interacting with doctors if I can help it. I either feel patronised, ignored or a bit of both. I try and manage my own health these days.
I'm the same. I hate doctors now.
I wouldnt say I hate them, I dont trust them and have very low expectations that they will make me better. I rely on my own research and knowledge to make decisions about my health and well being.
That's nice. I definitely hate them though 😂
I wouldn’t say I hate them, that’s such a strong word to apply to someone you don’t know… but I do find that, even though I may be quivering inside, reflecting their attitude back at them usually works quite well, especially when I know what I’m talking about and they don’t. But always keep it icily polite and calm, that seems to work best.
I defo hate them 😊
Doctors don't do any work anymore, thy don't listen to patients, and blow you off.These days i don't even get the ears and nose and eyes looked at or chest listened to,or hiw about a urine test?
The MA does all the sort.
Bp, temp, o2, why your there.
Then the dr comes in and maybe writes your scripts.
That's how it is I the US.
Me too. I started doing this about 2012 or 2013. One really major thing that helped me at that time was a completely off the cuff remark by a pharmacist when I was collecting a prescription for iron supplements. She checked to see if it would be cheaper for me to just buy the iron supplements or to use the prescription I'd been given.
That was the first time I realised that prescription-strength iron supplements could be bought without a prescription.
Another major thing that helped was discovering the BNF (British National Formulary) which was available online for free, so I could check drugs, doses, side effects, warnings, etc.
Also, finding out that the BNF would list whether a drug was available in pharmacies without prescription or whether it was prescription only - that was huge.
It doesn't always have to be some massive, complicated information that helps. It can sometimes be something fairly small and apparently insignificant that makes a big difference.
Absolutely, I always research any medications I use. I have drug sensitivities and allergies so its a no brainer. Also I think forums like this are a Godsend. There's no substitute for sharing information with fellow sufferers of what ever condition(s) you have. They are the only ones who have first hand knowledge of what its really like.
That rings a bell!!! Now we can only speak to GP on phone I get the impression that they are listening even less. We have to tell the GP what our problem is, they then pass on ( their version) to GP, who then has a 'script' of what he's going to say when he rings......don't dare try to suggest something else, or ask a different question. I despair totally of the GP system now. Thank goodness we have sites like this and Dr Google ( who at least speaks English, albeit Americanised.)
Thank you Zazbag. Reading this made me cringe. It’s all behaviour I associate with ‘people who don’t know better’. And yet these people are allegedly the ‘crème de la creme’. No wonder we feel so awful being in contact with them. It fouls us even though we must turn to them for help. humanbean said it seemed to be focusing on staff, yes but it off course seeps through to patients. How can it not? I used to work in the NHS and I have observed and been subject to this kind of behaviour on more occasions than I care to count. I did not realise until fairly recently that I have been treated more and more like this as a patient. However I can’t help thinking of a friend of mine. She is a district nurse and her description of GPs (she works out of more than one practice) during the pandemic with their feet up on desks and tables, shooting the Sh1t. No patients in sight. Hospital doctors were overworked but I did actually attend hospital during the pandemic, which was quiet at the time and the consultant was very rude (sent by my GP from his deadly quiet practice) I think the issue with the Twitter remarks are definitely a product of this culture. A very public example and whomever is responsible should be suitably dealt with. I have already made my complaints to certain bodies where it should be highlighted.
I experienced the same thing the hospital I went to was quite ( 2 of us in A&E). When they talk to us on the phone they have it on speaker and it sounds like there the other side of the room, maybe busy doing other things as I’m trying to explain my symptoms
many doctors gaslight patients. One is left too often to prove or fight for diagnosis, tests or treatment. They seem to be the experts in this more than any other field, when it should be the opposite. There appears to be as a lot of misogyny as in the police force. They need to implement the same measures now going on there of confidential call lines for reporting. Many are freemasons so a secret unknown hidden force controlled by men for men. This should not be tolerated or allowed to continue .
A few years ago I contracted some kind of urine infection that lingered for months so I went to the GP and the symptoms were put down to some kind of hypochondria, largely because I'd told the GP previously that I'd been having anxiety attacks due to my heart health, so nothing was done, no exam, no urine test. The symptoms persisted so I saw another GP who said the same thing, it was 'all in my head'. Eventually I went to A&E and lo and behold I had an infection and was treated with antibiotics. Subsequently, I told the original GP what had happened and to her credit, she said that she would have to think hard about her dismissive behaviour of my symptoms. I wonder how common this is?
This kind of gaslighting happened to my cousin.By the time his cancer was FINALLY diagnosed , it was terminal.
How common is it that a medic admits they were wrong? Rare as hen's teeth in my experience.
Like so many others on this thread, I try and fix my own health problems now and avoid the NHS as much as I can.
I have examined what I have said to GPs and seen what they actually write on the file. Erroneously (never again) I said after one contentious face to face “I apologise if you think I have been rude”. In the notes she wrote “The patient apologised for her rudeness”. Do you see the subtle difference? They have been getting away with being treated as Gods for too long.
I wholeheartedly agree. God complexes, all of them.I spotted an error on my patient record. It said I did not attend a breast screening appointment. Total lie.
I pointed out this error. My punishment? My patient access was removed.
I've now got the NHS app, so the joke's on them after all.
they appear to relish their power more than healing powers. They also stoped my patient access. For retaliation too!
When my access to my full clinical record was blocked recently, as part of the drive to allow all NHS England patients greater access I went ballistic. I wrote a very snotty email to my surgery and got it lifted. I dont have mental health issues so they didnt have the right to decide on my behalf.
Honestly, the lengths we have to go to! 😡 I seethe generally on a daily basis 😥.
The lengths we have to go to on every front. Even the very nature of the illness itself. I hear other people are treated badly but as a group of patients I think we must be pretty near the bottom of the heap.
I’m sorry to read that, it’s awful. Your right they do twist words I’ve had it done to me it’s really upsetting
That happened to a good friend of mine, doctors ignored her bowel cancer symptoms until it was too late. Absolutely criminal.
That' so sad. I'm sorry to hear it.I lost my best friend to bowel cancer too. At least with my friend, her symptoms weren't ignored. It was just stage 4 when it displayed symptoms.
Yes, criminal is a good word though. No-one is ever accountable for these mistakes are they?!
My friend had bipolar so doctors thought she was attention seeking or being a hypochondriac despite having red flag symptoms. Makes me very angry that GP's effectively gatekeep our access to real specialists.
This is so true. Your poor friend. Mine had had an eating disorder in the past but to be fair, her GP did refer her for tests when she started to display symptoms.Yes. patients nowadays have to frequently fight for what used to be offered freely in the past.
It's a broken system and I can't see it improving. I admit, I am scared to become older and ill in this country now. Never what I envisaged for my twilight years.
A few years ago A couple of days before Christmas my friend Julie who had bipolar Told her Dr she was going to end it, she Also rang Her nurse And asked for help but noone took her seriously and sadly she did it on Christmas Day
• in reply toSparklingsunshine
And to a colleague of mine. Was finally diagnosed, with terminal cancer, when his wife was 8 months pregnant.
It was all just unfathomably cruel.
He was treated for sometime and went on to have another child but died before he was 40.
you suffered like that for all that time! You poor thing that’s awful I really feel for you because I get the uti regular and it’s incredibly painful I hope it cleared up and you began to feel better on the antibiotics. These things can leave us traumatised I’m speaking for myself when I say that. Wishing you well x
Yes, rather unpleasant, in fact left me feeling really miserable for weeks and with lingering symptoms for months.
I notice a very big difference when I , as a woman, take my children to the doctor or when their dad takes them. When I take them I'm an overly worried, fussing mum; when my partner takes them he's a great dad who should be taken seriously.
I have never had a doctor throw papers at me that would definitely be his/her worst decision and shaming well yeah especially about weight and not exercising as much as I should…. They see me often and have my health record but they still have zero idea who I am or what I have been dealing with for the past 6 years and somehow losing weight will make everything better (I wished)…. I use to get really upset every time my weight was brought up and I still do just not as bad and now I just tell them to go get bent that until you walk in my crippled body come talk to me … it irks me and actually makes me avoid doctors I get tired of trying to justify why I can’t lose weight or exercise.
they are experts at shaming us and blaming us esp for weight, it is a shame they are not such experts in thyroid treatment or any anything else it appears these days as it is getting worse. The Sunday times on august 21st in news review by professor Nora Colton looks at whether it is possible to fix the NHS and decides it is time to look elsewhere for a new system like Germany.
the abuse going on includes neglect, which is happening to too many thyroid patients and it is well hidden in the NHS. Their legal fees a year are 4bn and 86bn including payouts this is also well hidden. On bbc report. A secretive system which should be transparent and investigating why this figure is so astronomical and even attempting to listen to those who try to warn of all these failures rather than cover it all up.
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