Moods and thyroid

[puncturedbicycle]

Anyone else tie their moods and feelings to thyroid problems?

When I was first diagnosed w Hashi's I felt v cold emotionally, like a snake. Even though I knew intellectually that I loved my partner, and I actively enjoyed being in his company, it was hard to actually feel the loving feelings. Not sure how finely to break it down here, but it was as though I could feel enjoyment but not love, as though he was an interesting and entertaining acquaintance. When I was on enough meds I began to feel it come back.

For the last few weeks I've been staying w my mum and feeling increasingly impatient and cross w her. She is 75 and we have always been close so I didn't feel v good about myself. I tried to hide my feelings and couch my reactions in politeness instead of just acting out but it was hard and I'm sure I was rather radiating resentment the whole time.

I started to feel a bit odd - hot, twitchy - and realised recent events (change in both levo dose + ldn meds) must have made me go a bit hyper. I swapped out some levo and voila, I feel much better. We've had a few really nice days together and I can feel all my usual feelings of closeness coming back.

It's so important to experience closeness w those we love, and we have limited time together. I'm cross that so much of this visit was spent brooding when the source of the upset was largely hormonal. I mean I also have normal human experiences and emotions and sometimes I'm cross, sometimes impatient etc (and now on the verge of menopause, a whole other can of worms, yay!), but so much of it is coloured by thyroid hormone. I can't believe how much more relaxed I feel today.

Anyone else finding their thyroid meds are fine-tuning or distorting emotional issues?

[crystal5]

This is me! I didn't realise that my last bloods were hyper! That was in January but our useless surgery (in special measures) didn't tell me that I should have had a dose reduction.

I am currently signed off work with anxiety and stress!! Also menopausal. New GP is convinced this is all Hashis related, I'm not so sure,

I have had the cold feelings you describe, nothing has made me emotional in recent months! However, I took no thyroxine for 3 days this week as I was having bloods yesterday and wanted to see if I felt better and could potentially bring the levels back to where I want them (usually 1).

I cried last night as I dropped cocktail sticks on the floor!

Menopause is awful! I'm 44 so swallowing the bitter pill that for the last 2 years I was still of child bearing age but when the periods stopped it was a kick in the teeth.

I have 1 child....very lucky as I then lost a few early m/c.

Anyway, I hope you feel better and enjoy your Mum.

Here to chat x

[TSH110 in reply to crystal5]

crystal5 I was told my symptoms were menopausal but when they persisted and the menopause did not I knew it was not that. Now I have been correctly diagnosed and I am properly medicated I know those symptoms were due to autoimmune hypothyroidism. It is good your GP thinks this too, they must be very diligent. I wonder what if any symptoms were due to the menopause. One friend said she had no symptoms at all, her periods just stopped and that was it. I had chronic anxiety and suffered from stress and was always dropping things - I smashed all my grandmas crocks! I have six sighthounds I never had any children, I think they must be some sort of compensation. Hope you feel better soon.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to TSH110]

One of my dogs is a sighthound cross.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to crystal5]

Bless, many thanks. I kind of blurted that out here and felt a bit better. And now on a bit less levo I'm more relaxed. Sorry re menopause. I had naively hoped it would mean lighter periods until they stopped but omg, it does not mean that! x

[Hidden]

oh hellz yes. on my first week of meds I went to my sister's doctoral hooding ceremony. All I did was cry, ask the same questions over and over, and thought she didn't have a seat for me and that I should just go home. I was constantly emotional. over reactive AND paranoid. YUP.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to Hidden]

I realise now I made it sound like I was just a cold fish when hypo but that was only half the story. I didn't feel much love but my word I was paranoid and desperate. Terrible desperation. It is a peculiar feeling, and very distinctive.

Not that I think I deserved bad treatment but I can kind of see how some doctors are hostile. I was a mess and I'm sure the Type As don't love that.

[Hidden in reply to puncturedbicycle]

Paranoid? Oh heck yes. I am with you on that one. Was at my sister's doctoral graduation and had convinced myself she didn't have a seat for me and that I should get back in my car and drive home. The only thing stopping me was that the drive was 14 hours long. And of course she hgad seats for all of us. Horrible brain fog as well. Went to work one day, got out of my car and cculdn't understand why it wouldn't lock, so went into work . I had left it running, that what was up with that. I cried every day. I asked pepole the same questions over and over again because I coudldnt remember what they had answered. Was mildly depressed. OI knew I was getting better the first time I laughed out loud at a joke on a tv show. It was a horrible way to live, and no one understood it. SOOOO isolating. I appreciate hearing from you, I didn't know if anyone else ever had this stuff go on, or just the fatigue.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to Hidden]

Oh goodness, there are people here who have been depressed, anxious, paranoid and worse. I can think of two people here who have been sectioned with mental health issues stemming from thyroid problems and apparently there is a higher average level of t3 in violent offenders (I wish I had that study at hand, it was very interesting). You can rest assured you're not alone there!

I was depressed for many years, I was always clever but slow as a child (when I say slow I mean everything I did was considered and kind of overthought, I spoke and moved slowly etc), my temp was always low, I had trouble going to sleep and waking up early (I could sleep all day), I had trouble finishing projects, my hearing was tested because I was always daydreaming and often missed directions etc etc. Without wishing to attribute everything to hypothyroidism, all these things feel part of the same ball of wax really.

[Marz]

I am sure your post resonated with many of us - especially when we have time to stop and reflect. Have always confused excitement with being anxious - the same sort of feeling in the solar plexus region for both emotions - over the years that has ebbed away. Had put it down to being older - perhaps not !

Have not noticed a difference in connection with changing meds - maybe an oversight on my part

Hope you can make the very best of time spent with your Mum - so pleased things became better for you. I so miss mine .....

[puncturedbicycle in reply to Marz]

Oh Marz, I'm sorry about your mum. The worst part is knowing that one day she won't be here and I'll miss her. Of course I want to make the best of it. Sadly we still wind each other up! But I have to be okay w being a normal person doing the best I can and I'm sure she is too. It has been a very rough time for her these last four years (long story) but we're almost out of the woods and I do hope things will ease a bit then. x

[Hidden in reply to Marz]

Anxiety is tough. I also have aspergers...so I wasn't sure what part was thyroid, and what part aspies. I like my aspie self, but all this other stuff just exacerbated it all like a perfect storm. Moms are so nice to have around, I miss mine as well

[puncturedbicycle in reply to Hidden]

I know what you mean, there are so many different physical and emotional aspects to take into consideration, it is impossible to know the cause of everything.

Sorry to hear you miss your mum as well. Getting older has a lot to recommend it but not this part.

[Hidden in reply to puncturedbicycle]

for sure. Also dad gone. I felt like an orphan for a while, it was rough. I just noticed that my taste is back. Did you have any issues with that?

[mostlyhappy]

I may be your twin sister This is exactly how I am with my family just now, not sure how much is to do with life, thyroid or the start of the menopause. I can't offer any advice, my TSH has just come back at 5.2 so I am pretty sure I need to up my levo -but can't get a doc appointment of another 10 days. Meanwhile I am having to work hard at not being horrible! I do think the symptoms of menopause can explain a lot, there seems to be a lot of crossover with hypothyroid symptoms, sounds like we are getting double trouble, but you certainly aren't on your own there

xx

[puncturedbicycle in reply to mostlyhappy]

Yes, working hard at not being horrible!! Hypo + menopause. My god. Thanks so much for being kind. Always good to know it isn't just me. xx

[Hidden in reply to mostlyhappy]

sorry it's going to take 10 days.... i feel so very very lucky because I have a dr that looks at quarterly blood tests and then calls in to pharmacy if I need a change and sends email through protected sight. She also gets blood test results that way. I usually see them the same day she does.Hopefully this will change for you the longer you work with the doc.

[gojo1]

Sometimes it can be the other person, my mother is supposedly borderline. She is 69 now.She couldnt really be bothered to meet me for a coffee for my birthday and does not believe in the problems that thyroid can bring so that was not a very nice meeting. I am always trying to help her and suggest she goes to the doctors as she has arthiritis. I am sure she needs a review as its been a few years since she was diagnosed as borderline but she knows best and wont go. she is one of those people who think they are more ill and feel more pain than others and becoming more selfish by the day! She is one of lifes moaners I try to dismiss the things she says but some days its impossible, I too take 175 thyroxine so find it difficult and think its me but it really isnt most of the time! My sons also get fed up with the way she is and her behaviour. Good luck its not always you!

[puncturedbicycle in reply to gojo1]

Oh totally, just because I am feeling this way doesn't mean someone else doesn't deserve it.

In my case I think it is more of a mix of that mother-daughter dynamic where we know how to drive each other crazy combined w staying temporarily in a tiny house where you can hear every footstep (and I need time alone to survive, so not ideal), but if your mum is a nightmare you have to look at that too. It sounds like a difficult relationship, and as people get older it can change them and not always for the better. Good luck to you.

[SilverAvocado]

Yes, I definitely notice this. I have been through so much since I've been ill, but I've never really felt: angry, lonely, bored, jealous, frustrated, bereaved or otherwise terrible about it. Except for brief moments that are more about immediate pain or it's a rush of hormones.

Recently I've been concerned that this is because being hypo has been like being on tranquilizers all these years, and I haven't felt my real emotions.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to SilverAvocado]

It is the most peculiar thing, I do know what you mean. I have felt sedated when hypo. And that was deffo a component of depression for me - numbness rather than agony.

I feel much more emotionally warm since taking t3, but as we see it isn't foolproof. A little bit too much and it makes me feel aggressive and cross.

[hairyfairy]

I just feel angry that my thyroid stopped working properly, & now I have to class myself as a person with a chronic disease rather than someone who is healthy. My status is much lower in my eyes.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to hairyfairy]

My mum felt like this after breast cancer, like the slate can never be clean again. I think anger is totally appropriate, it makes sense. I guess everyone gets there though; only a very lucky few will get through this life unscathed by some sort of chronic condition.

[SilverAvocado in reply to puncturedbicycle]

Yea, I agree. Since I got sick I've realised how many other people have chronic illnesses. I worked in an office full of 26 yr olds, and all 3 women I ate lunch with were on long term medication, two had had an operation earlier in their condition. I was surprised, as before that I'd never been to hospital and was a bit oblivious!

[AiryFairie in reply to hairyfairy]

hairyfairy I know what you mean. My diagnosis came as a shock, and it has taken over a year for the ramifications to really "sink in". But now I have accepted my condition, and started to research it, I feel a bit happier. However, I am disappointed with the lack of information from my GP, even guidance on how to take Levothyroxine, to get the best out of it, was sorely lacking! I doesn't help our confidence, does it?

[MariLiz]

I agree so strongly with what you have said. It was as though I became detached from my own life, in some strange way. There was a strong wish to be alone as I retreated emotionally from people and situations that no longer were enjoyable to me.

[puncturedbicycle in reply to MariLiz]

Yes, that is a textbook hypo symptom - self-isolating.

[TSH110]

Dear me I was a crazy aggressive demon or a sobbing pathetic wreck as my moods went completely haywire! I had bouts of overactivity as well as hypo. It was pretty grim I thought I had gone completely mad (I suppose I had). I do remember feeling rather reptilian at times, they say that is the emotional/instinctual part of the brain. I guess if the higher order controls start to malfunction then the very basic reactive bits have no choice but to take over. That was untreated hypothroidism.

On levo I felt like a kind of shadow of myself, like nothing integrated anymore, I just felt two dimensional. It really did my head in. I switched to NDT and became like my old self again in fact better than the old self in some ways because all the hideous depression vanished...but I am still a bit bad tempered. The one thing that has never come back is a sex drive, it went after about a year on levo. I don't really know why or what can be done about it. I sometimes think it quite sobering to know first hand that we are nothing more than a bunch of hormones.

Nevertheless, I think of every day as a bonus. I used to think that all the continuing symptoms were the price I had to pay for cheating death, but not any more, now that my life is really worth living.

Hopefully you will get everything properly balanced and feel a lot better. For sure it will be due to to the thyroid meds, a daily tablet simply cannot be as well adapted as a dynamic fully functioning gland, but I believe it is possible to get things working pretty well. It does a very important job which you only fully appreciate when it goes wrong. That in itself is a kind of enlightenment that normal people simply cannot know.

Good luck!

[puncturedbicycle in reply to TSH110]

Yeah me too re sex drive. And I tried the hormone creams too (testosterone/progesterone) and no dice.

I know what you mean about discovering that you're a collection of hormones and electrical impulses. Sobering is the word. Wait 'till we learn more about genetics! I think that will be very revealing.

[hairyfairy]

Iv`e always felt that my body is a seperate entitity from me, like a foreign country whose language I can never hope to understand.