Sometimes we wonder why bad things happen... sorry a bit long but really need to vent 😭

It's kind of hard to write what is happening but I've been really emotional and tearful lately. About three weeks ago went to gp and in tears, asked if he could give me something to calm me a bit he said no. Today, I'm on my period and having bouts of crying/wailing no stop. I'm with my son this weekend but thanks god he was out with a friend. Besides heavy and painful period, I've been throwing up and diahorrea today, so decided to call 111 to see what I could take (been taking codeine). I got a call back from such a lovely sympathetic gp! If I was in her office I'd have hugged her. She said she knew all too well how hashi felt, and made an appointment at an out of hours gp. I said I didn't want to leave the house because I was embarrassed to be seen in such a state(weeping all through the call) she said it would be good if I went. So I did, they took a urine test (?) and told me must be a virus besides the heavy period. I said please give me something to calm me down. My son will be back home by now and I hate him seeing me like this. GP said he couldn't give me anything. I said I had diazepam before and I needed to be well to care for my son over the weekend said he understood but no nothing he could do. He asked if I had anyone I could call. I said no. He said see your GP Monday how does he know I'll be fine till then? I was in such a state swollen eyes from crying all day, hair not brushed and he sent me home to take care of a child. Then we wonder why bad things happen.


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38 Replies

  • He might have been quite worried about you and not being your regular GP couldn't take a chance as he doesn't know your history.

    I hope you feel a bit better with talking to the helpful girl and now that you've posted here members will understand what you are going through.

    I hope you are able to get a restful night and that your stomach will settle down a bit to allow that to happen.

    Many of us have been tearful/anxious at times and as my Mother used to say, crying is good for you (it doesn't feel like that at the time) as it can calm you down when you've stopped.

    If you've a heavy period maybe you need your bloods checked to see if you need an increase in meds.

  • Thank you for your reply shaws. It means a lot knowing I'm not alone. But he the gp chanced sending me home in that state it was inhumane. 've been meaning to put my test results here and do a proper profile but it's just on my list of things that I procrastinate. Bloods are really good. Tsh nice and suppressed. T3 upper range t4 lower range on thyroid S 2.5 grains. I take all the vitamins I read here. Yoga 4 times a week, mindfulness meditation soya gluten sugar coffee free. Seen a great natural doctor last Sunday and she said very useful things after a live blood test. I'm dehydrated (!!!) drinking about 3litres of water a day and she said my blood doesn't show it nor that I'm absorbing the nutrients in my food nor the supplements. She was really surprised I take any. She's pointed me some enzymes and other things to do, she's spoken about adrenal insufficiency and leaky gut - I didn't need to explain NDT to her. so yes I know I have a long way to go. But each time I start a treatment it goes well for a while and then downhill again. After being left on Levo 50mcg for about 10 years and bring labelled depressed bipolar gynaecological problems. Then the psychiatrist the gynaecologist discharged me saying my problem is hormonal and still endo used to say bloods were fine so you are fine. If it hadn't been for you shaws and many other lovely unselfish people on this site I don't know id probably be in a psychiatric ward now.

  • 50mcg of levo is not sufficient but all they're concerned about is the TSH and don't listen to the patient.They also don't understand the mental anguish some suffer and just medicate for the symptom and not for our thyroid gland.

    I am sure you will pick up and the Natural Doctor sounds sensible in that your gut can prevent your supplements from working. Onwards and upwards for you. :)

  • Shaws, if it was not for this site id still be on 50levo. now on 2.5 grains thyroid S. Ive come a long way believe me yesterday was a crazy day. Thank you that's it onwards and upwards!!!! ***sighs in relief***

  • Yes. onwards and upwards. Sometimes we learn more from people who aren't medically qualified as they've already gone through a similar trauma.

  • hello Brubru

    really sorry to hear you've been feeling so grim and so sad, and as shaws says, hope that writing here has helped a little.

    Do you take B vitamin supplements? eat Marmite? A B vitamin complex seems to have a positive calming effect, and may be worth you trying. They can be found in various strengths, and perhaps a B 100 Complex would be helpful to you. A well known high st health food shop sells them....and they are often on special offer :-)

    Sending you a big hug ((( )))

  • Thank you 1tuppence. It's so sad when we try do everything right and still have low periods of time. Yes I take all the vitamins we talk about here. B12 methyl plus b complex. I'll check this b100 complex maybe it's better than mine. Gluten sugar soya coffee free even completely stopped my weekend glass of wine - actually maybe that's the point not much joy in the last month lol. But I started having blackouts after only 2 glasses of wine so really needed to stop. and yes been vegan/veggie for most of my life so lots of soya products when younger now I eat fish but still don't feel like eating very often. Trying to address that though. It is so good to write here I feel understood. Thank you :-)

  • I wish I could come and give you a big hug! I used to suffer with terrible periods pre hysterectomy. Max out your pain killers, have a long soak in the bath up to your neck and try Rescue Remedy (It does seem to have an effect, regardless of whether it's pyschosomatic).

    And if you've been vomiting etc, try and keep your fluid levels up and remember low blood sugar can make you even more nauseous.

    May I ask how old your son is? x

  • Thank you joburton. Having people here understanding is good too :-). Today a bath would have been yucky but tomorrow I'll do that. They offered me a hysterectomy but I believe my issues are hormonal and didn't want to have it. And when I'm fine on my medication my periods PMS and the pain are under control. But my friend hashimotos has a mind of its own and gets me on my knees sometimes :-(. My son is an adorable 12 year old he doesn't deserve seeing his mum crying he bought milk today And I made him pancakes for breakfast then he went to his friend and I went to the GP. When I got home he was here waiting for me I couldn't open the door. I tried to put myself together before coming in.

  • Dear brubru,

    I once phoned the psychaitric crisis team in my area frightened that I was going to kill my children. I was sobbing and wailing uncontrollably. I was incontinent of urine with the distress whilst on the phone and I was told to phone back if things got worse.

    It was horrible not to be taken seriously and to be shown so little compassion.

    One of the things that ended up happening to me although I was a very good mother most of the time was that social services got involved. That was a horrendous experience. I found social services considered having a mental health condition meant that you were abusive and their whole remit was to find evidence to remove children from their homes. They made me homeless for 3 months despite the fact I had not harmed my children, restricted my access to my children for a long time and frequently interviewed my kids to try and find me doing some thing wrong. It was so stressful it was unbelievable and the last thing I would wish on any mother.

    So go careful what you say to professionals about coping with your children.

  • Sorry to hear about this awful experience mandyjane, and thank you for warning me about it. I hear what you say about compassion, and no how could they not have helped you and also "if things get worse" then you would call back? How much worse they meant? I'm good to my son, I take him places even if crying, cook his meals every day, check homework and so on. Its just on my bad times that the crying takes over, I tell him is women's things and he is lucky to be a boy, I hope this wont affect him in a bad way. I'd hate myself, if my disease affected him too. Thank you for being so open with me.

  • Dear Brubru,

    You may find that taking codeine is making you very edgy. I found years ago that it made me quite irrational. The clue was that I got desperate every four hours when it started to run down but while taking it (for a wisdom tooth) it made me mean, miserable and despairing. As soon as I stopped taking it, I was okay. I find that asprin, panadol, ibuprofen, tiger balm, massages, hot baths, electric blanket and situation comedies on tv all help, plus not listening to myself when my brain is rattling on. I'm saying this with great sympathy for you. I hope that whatever is making you feel so tired and despairing today will be somewhat or a lot better tomorrow. Hang in there.

  • Thank you Astridnova! I'm much better today, and even more so after reading all the support here, so valuable. YES! I do feel irrational, but that's what GP gave me because my periods are like miscarriage (I took a picture and showed him!!!) Laughing now writing this but they never took me seriously when I said my periods were heavy so I did this crazy thing and gynaecologist asked me if I it couldn't possible be a miscarriage, I said yes it has happened to virgin Mary, so it could always happen again lol laughing by myself now recalling this. And I also told him that it is this heavy every month the three first days. I'll surely try the other things on your list specially tiger balm that I'm going to google now. Have a great sunday !

  • Brubru, one way to let them know how much you lose during a period is to count up how many tampons you use. It says on the side of tampax boxes how much they absorb. I worked out that I lose about half a pint a day in the first three days.

    (In the old days my mother proved this to the doctor by collecting all her used sanitary protection and then weighing them against the same number of unused pieces. I hope that she took the sum to the doctor not the evidence, but knowing her....!)

    There are treatments that they can give you by prescription, other than hysterectomy, Mirena coil or ablation (I know people who swear by the first 2 of these, but decided not to do the first myself - and despite three children the doctor could not fit the Mirena). One treatment that they can give you is Mefenamic acid and a stronger one is Tranexamic acid, both of which are prescription only (and will need supervision from your doctor). I managed to take these for a while and they made a big difference, (I am allergic to aspirin and ibuprofen and unfortunately both of these are derived from aspirin so ...).

    Make sure that the doctor gives you a blood test for anemia and post the results here. If you are anemic then you tend to bleed more, so it is a vicious circle.

    If you take iron tablets already then make sure to take them an hour after your morning dose of levo, T3 or NDT (if you take it then). Then if you can, leave an hour after your iron before breakfast and you will absorb more. Take the iron with Vit C and B12 to help absorption. You may need to set your alarm too early and take the levo and go back to sleep and perhaps do that again with the iron. (I get up and do chores, of which there are many with 3 kids! and then if I have time I do some yoga before breakfast).

    I self medicate with T3 and with the regime that I describe above for the iron tablets I now have manageable periods for the first time that I can remember! (It is wonderful being able to leave the house without having to work out how much protection to take and where I will be able to find a loo every hour!)

    If you find it hard with your son when you are bad (and god knows I understand! As will many parents on here), perhaps you could ask friends (or family if they are able/close enough) to help look after him when things are bad? If you can help someone out with theirs (offering lifts or having play dates) when you feel okay that can help with getting help yourself. There are also plenty of parentlines where you could get advice or at least sympathy!

    Good luck, I hope you get some useful help soon!

    I wish you lots of luck!

  • Thank you piggysue for such comforting words. Reading about your mum made me laugh, but yes extreme situations require extreme measures. Never thought about the tampon capacity, one more thing all the replies here have taught me! Its kind of calming to know i'm not alone... I do feel alone among the friends I have and used to feel misunderstood by my ex husband too, so its very lonely sometimes and scary. Thats how i felt when i wrote the post, and found so much support from strangers in this site.... I've taken Tranexamic acid, but when i read the side effects stopped. I've had the morena inserted and still the little hormone it realizes drove me mad. I've just realized that as i was traveling and all disorganized when i got back from holidays i went more than a month without any supplements, so it might have been part of me feeling so unwell last week. I'm so much better now and back to my normal activities. I liked your idea as well of exchanging with friends that will help, because i feel s*** when i cry in front of my son, although he is so lovely. Monday I was back to myself, woke up before six, made pancakes before he had awaken, had a shower and ready to work, he looked at me and said I see you are yourself again, and hugged me. You surely have your hands full with three children! And yoga before breakfast? Well done! Thank you once again....

  • Dear Brubru, I'd forgotten how bad it could be, that complete inability to hold yourself together with a son to look after, that's how I used to be but now I am much, much better. Wondering how I got here, if I knew I could make suggestions, but like you I'm vegan and all-sorts-free. Might be worth taking a look at magnesium, the consequences of insufficient include depression and I think can lead to a problem with salt/fluid uptake and then poor assimilation of nutrients (there's a link on here somewhere that started me off connecting to all this, but it took a bit of digging about, trying different sites, avoiding sites subtly promoting people or nutrient sellers and searching until I found NHS/NIH and other reliable sources of info.

    You said you do yoga 4 times a week. It might be worth looking at my website, which I may not be allowed to publish on here, there's a bit about GABA, GABA levels, when fluctuating correlate with depression and the levels in women who suffer from emotional fragility around the time of their periods are low. In a trial of whole yoga, which is not the usual hatha, Bikram etc etc but genuine Indian yoga, the GABA levels levelled out and remained level through the peri-menstrual time. In your yoga you need all the things that are often missed out, like sounds, relaxation and meditation, poses that are still and held, poses that are quick and enlivening, breathing and pranayama, though nowadays many teachers confuse pranayama and breathing.

    It would be worth searching for a highly qualified and experienced yoga teacher if you want to give this a go.

    Mainly though, we are here for you and some of us know how awful it is. We hug you with our minds and admire and respect you for struggling on.


  • Brubru, do you know what is happening viz your oestrogen/progesterone levels?

    You have suggested you've been down the gyno/endo route ( without much success). Before discovering natural progesterone ( I use natpro but there are others) , my menstrual migraines were horrendous - plus the emotional stuff, the "loose bowels" and weird sugar cravings all just before my period. Oestrogen dominance can be the result of and can cause all manner of problems. And there is, of course, a thyroid link. For the record I discovered my hormonal issues after studying a number of years' worth of blood results. My gp and gyno had said nothing...because they work with ranges as we know and are clueless and/or indifferent to ratios. Just a thought.

  • Oh catrich, that's exactly what I have crazy sugar cravings a week before, piercing headache, bowels etc. I've had a private blood test which showed low testosterone, but gp dismissed it, because it was a minenalogram (all minerals, vitamins etc). Do you self medicate then with natpro? Thank you for being there

  • Hi, it's odd but I don't think of myself as self-medicating with I? I buy it and I use it....perhaps that is self-medicating. I would like to think it will be until my body is able to rebalance itself. My migraines stopped almost within 2 cycles. After 10 years. Snoring (!) too. But I will do bloods again soon and keep an eye on levels. There are a number of websites and books out there on oestrogen and the trouble too much can bring. Masks thyroid problems too....apparently. All the best -

  • I havent checked it yet, so you can buy without prescription, but I guess yes, if a doctor hasn't prescribed, you thought that was useful and you are self directing what is good for you. At the moment i have bad acne, big and swollen that take a long time to go away, i had googled and it does show an imbalance in sex hormones, just not sure which one is dominant in my case. A test done by a natural doctor pointed to low testosterone but GP dismissed it.

  • Warm hugs BruBru, i'm really sorry you are having a tough time, and there has been some great support/comfort/ideas above from many of the lovely fellow sufferers on here, who completely understand what you are going through xx. I have downloaded some audiobooks/meditations by Louise L Hay, an american grandmother, who gives sound advice and reminders about starting with loving yourself etc, it sounds twee but I am level headed 'non-airyfairy person' and find when I am desperate it seems to help, by focussing on my importance to my family/world etc. I often listen to help me get to sleep too. Have a listen to a free clip, she has a soothing voice. I found her on iTunes & Amazon.

    Bless you, I hope you find a way of reminding yourself you Can get through this. Try explaining to your son that sometimes you get really tired, perhaps because you don't sleep very well due to something like noisy neighbours/traffic, & that makes you weepy & you are 'ok', so he shouldn't worry. xx

  • Tiger tea thank you! im going to google her and listen. it does help me to meditate but when im on that sate I can not concentrate unfortunately. I told him its just womens things and he is lucky to be a boy, but I feel guilty when he sees me like this and then I cry more. Reading all of you here giving me sound advice and support fills me with hope and I will go through this. it has happened before, so im able to.

  • It's easy to advise you when we are feeling 'on even keel' but I completely understand kind of emotional pain you are in, wish could just 'fairy dust' it away for you, like wish could do for myself sometimes, and sometimes distraction like meditation/positive affirmation recordings help by distraction alone (for me anyway).

    Lots of love and strength to you, Try & remind yourself if you keep telling yourself you Deserve to be well & helped to be made well you Will get there in the end xx Tricia

  • So true... Ive replied to posts here in my good days, but I was so out of control yesterday. But its over now thanks God! And to having written here and read all the words of encouragement and advice and my long yoga session today I feel like myself again - *sighs in relief*. I will remember the positive affirmations. Thank you Tricia for taking the time to reply

  • Im sorry to hear you are really struggling. I hope the advice from and support of forum members helps you.

    My ears pricked up when you mentioned codeine: Ive found codeine makes me irritable, anxious, emotional and tearful. Ive taken it in the past for bad toothache, but have found that while it takes the edge off the pain, it makes me more miserable and upset ABOUT the pain. Also, my partner is addicted to codeine, and I suspect it makes her more irritable and emotional. While you obviously have other health problems, bear in mind that codeine may not help you cope, it might just make things worse. Im no expert, that's just a thought that sprang to mind.

    I hope you soon find your way to better health.

    All the best


  • Teuchter thank you for your reply and yes without the support in this forum, I have no idea where id be! You are the second person that mentions this about codeine so,I wont have it again. It makes sense it could be making me even more irrational than in other crisis when I didn't take it, and I did feel really miserable! Have a good sunday Geoff thank you!

  • Hi, I totally sympathise with you. But we are human, and things get to us. It's natural. Try not to beat yourself up hun. Hormones are demons and affect in ways we just can't control. I'm not in a good place at the mo, on the verge of losing my job cause of time off sick etc. I was prescribed a low dose of citalopram for my mood swings throughout the month. It helped massively. I know people are wary of antidepressants, but may be worth thinking about, if it helps you feel better. I have hash's, Pcos! Fibroids, diagnosed with ME last year too. Write all your concerns down and go to your GP, ask for a double appointment so he's not rushing. Tell him exactly how you're feeling, how it's affecting your life etc. I wish you all the luck in the world xx

  • I have to be kinder to myself you are so right. Thank you DawnieA for finding the strenght to support me when you do have so much on your plate as well. Guess its the beauty of this forum, some days we are fine and other we need support.I had antidepressants before, but the psychiatrist said my issues are hormonal and discharged me. I'd like to have at least some diazepam in the house for days like yesterday but am yet to convince my GP. All the best for you as well and hope you can keep your job and sort/improve your conditions.

  • Try keeping a diary of how you are feeling, I did and I realised that my best time was the week before my period, this is when progesterone is higher. So I mentioned this to my endo and I could be suffering for oestrogen dominance. I google everything lol. If youve been told your issues are hormonal, then what's your GP doing about it? he should be doing bloods to check. B12 defo worth checking, along with vit D, folate etc.

    I love these forums too, as we know we are not alone and unlike GPs and specialists we DO understand what it feels like and can help and support each other xx

  • Hi, big hugs to you! What are your B12 levels? I know you say that you take supplements - but as a vegan you won't be getting any naturally in your diet. I get depressed as well as other symptoms and inject B12 3 times a week which helps to keep it at bay. and what about your folate and ferrite levels?

    Vitamin D? K2 and magnesium also good.

  • Thank you bluedragon virtual hugs received :-)! B12 is in the increase, my papers are a mess so I can not find the results. The worse on is ferritin which even taking iron is too low still. I'm no longer vegan, I eat fish and eggs, so hoping to get all sorted with time, but as this natural doctor said she couldn't tell by my bloods that I was taking supplements nor getting the nutrients from my food, so absorption issues she pointed. I'm so much better today!! Thank you have a great sundady

  • Hi Brubru, your situation sounds so debilitating and so familiar. I know what it's like to be uncontrollably weepy and embarrassed and feeling like muck. I'm sorry you are going through this. Please know that things can get better.

    You've been given a lot of great advice. I'll only add some steps to address autoimmune disease: Address nutrient deficiencies, hidden infections (yeast, viruses, bacteria, Lyme, parasites, etc.), check for hidden food allergens (try an elimination diet, reduce environmental allergens (filter your water, minimalist exposure to chemicals, but organic, etc.), heal you gut, continue practicing yoga for stress relief, detox the body of heavy metals.

    My hope continues to be that someday Hashi's patients will be treated with respect and understanding by the medical profession. Until then we have to stick together and encourage one another. I'm concerned about you. Please continue to write and let us know how you are doing. I'm praying for you.

  • Thank you for your prayers teenarocks and yes, im so glad we have this forum. No one here said a word of judgement only support. no one said what some friends say, things like you have no reason to cry nothing is wrong and so on. That's exactly the point and makes me feel worse, all is good so why cant I stop? Then I cry more because I know I have no reason. thank you for praying for me. Have a lovely sunday. I'm so much better today and thankful for all the support here

  • I have no words to thank each response I got! Thank you so very much. Just to feel heard makes such a difference. My friends do not understand me, so I don't feel like calling them when im like this, and also I feel embarrassed. If you saw me on the street, or at work you'd think I have everything under control, no one would imagine what I do when no one is watching. I will replay individually now. Just back of two different yoga classes and feeling much better. A bit of weeping and smiling while reading all the support you guys gave me!

  • SO lovely that you're feeling better and brighter...heard and cared about.

    Just a thought Brubru.....

    Like you, I'm generally capable and competent, and can cope with difficult times.

    Yet, in the summer I found myself crying easily and often, and couldn't talk about how I felt without crying. I felt ill, knew there was something wrong with my system, and couldn't get heard by my GP at the time, who was simply going by the THS and ignoring all the symptoms. I suspect it was a Hashi flare, and it was a grim time.

    Do you think it could be something similar for you?

    It's so hard for others who don't experience whatever it may be, to understand. Experience of something opens the door to understanding and empathy doesn't it?

    That's one of the beauties of this forum.....lovely people who have similar experiences, who understand and empathise, and above all listen and offer support and knowledge.

  • So good to be better 1tuppence, just now thinking of how i was yesterday seems like it was an alien. This forum is a blessing! I feel its completely hormonal but in july my antibodies were down to around 79 if im not wrong cant find the print out of my tests, the lowest I have ever seen them. When I was first diagnosed it was in the thousands. id say more to do with my sex hormones because I vary a lot throughout the month. Even my shopping habits, ive notice I go buying unnecessary things 10 days before. But since being in this forum, im self medicating on thyroid S and my months got so much better, when I was only on levo, this was common, but yesterday was very bad, I don't think I had been that bad before and probably forgot about my times on levo only. those were nightmares too. I did reply to your other comment too, thank you!!!

  • I can totally understand. I am in America and have had every test in the past 4 months from being 147 lbs and now weighing 109lbs. Docs just treat the "bloodwork" and do not treat your physical symptoms. I just cant get anyone to understand the physical and emotional pain of being so under weight. And not to mention the emotional pain. All we can do is hang in there for our kids and please know you are not alone. Seems docs find it really hard to perscribe for our symptoms if they dont have a confirmed diagnosis in front of them and its excruciating being in the physical and mental state we are in. I hope you soon start feeling well.

  • thank you mimix2. Exactly, they can not look at the big picture and do ignore symptoms. once I told a gp, if my son got a temperature, ive given him paracetamol he doesn't get better do I dismiss him saying you are medicated or do I try to find other treatments that migh get him better? I've had a much happier week thanks to the support of the lovely people here and also put into place some of the suggestions. Hope you find health soon! Thank you

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