I try not to put too much poor me stuff on here but today I think I’m entitled to.
Well my son got married yesterday but I didn’t go to the wedding! I made this choice before hand. My son was fine about me not going, he knows how bad my IBS is and has never known me not to have IBS as it all started before he was born. I didn’t want my husband to miss out so I told him to go on his own. My husband and son set up a video to live stream it so I could see the ceremony virtually, which was great. It was only a small affair (20 people). They don’t have a lot of friends (my son has ADHD) but I am glad they are doing this as they are at the point in their relationship (they have been together since school, 12 years) that they want to start a family. I am a strong believer that in order to take parenthood seriously, you should be married.
I just hope that when they do have a child/children I will be able to get to see them in the flesh and cuddle them. Since COVID my IBS has been much worse (I think I may have had COVID without knowing it, when it all kicked off). I have hardly seen my son (in the flesh) since COVID, in fact I have not been to his house which he moved into in February 2021. We do speak on zoom every week though for a couple of hours, so we are still very close.
I just wish I could beat this awful condition because frankly life isn’t worth living!
Maureen
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Maureen1958
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sorry to hear you could not go, I have missed loads of things due to the IBS D, and IBS pain, last Thursday I had to go into A&E as I was getting terrible pain after I had a lithotripsy the week before, I held off as long as I could dreading going into hospital while my IBS was also giving me pain, they gave me morphine to try to help with the pain as my kidney stone had moved and was blocking my tube, after 30min the morphine didn’t help so they put a pain release suppository in my bottom and within 20 min my stone issue pain had stopped but so had my IBS pain. I had to have an emergency op to remove to stone and have now got a catheter in for the next two weeks, now comes the interning part, while I was in hospital I was in bed and I could feel the need to rush to the toilet but I was ib bet with my wee bag clipped to the bed I asked the nurse if I could carry the bag and go to toilet, I did say it could just be gas but it started to stress me out, she said I will put a leg bag on then you can go to the toilet, she took the bed bag off and put the leg back on and it filled up right away, she hurried up and emptied it then it filled again she emptied it, then the desperate urge to go to toilet went, so my thinking is the bladder swelling up when getting full pressing against the colon that is very sensitive causing the pain. I did ask but know one could answer, I had my op Friday morning and so far I still have not had any IBS symptoms since, I was given co-amoxiclav antibiotic 500mg/125mg to help with my IBS as I had been given loads of drugs while in hospital and I was concerned about coming home with a catheter and diarrhoea flaring up. I had a GP put me on the co-amoxiclav a week before I had the lithotripsy and it calmed my IBS down then as well. So I am not sure if the bladder can cause IBS to bet worse or if it’s the antibiotic that is helping. It’s all very complicated when your on loads of meds for other issue, I take loads for angina high blood pressure and diabetes, but my IBS started years before I was on any other meds. I have lost count the amount of times we have had to turn back and take me home and my wife has had to go on her own, when my daughter was young she just accepted as normal but I have missed so much, when my daughter got married I starved myself for three days before to make sure I was completely empty. I can say sorry to you or you not alone in all of this but the words don’t help you get your life back does it? But I am sorry you had to miss the wedding I know how you will be feeling today about it, I know the stress of not going will make IBS worse, my thoughts are with you♥️
Hi Boxroad, I do think the bowel and bladder push on each other, so if you need a wee it can make you feel like you need a poo and vice versa. Also, I used to find years ago when my IBS was more runny that antibiotics used be good for my IBS. I used to (still do) get a lot of sinus problems and back then I could get the GP to give me a weeks supply of antibiotics and the IBS went away for a week! And thank you for your kind words regards missing my son's wedding yesterday. ❤️
it’s funny toy say about sinus trouble, I suffer a lot with mine as well, I saw an ENT a couple of weeks ago after loads of complaining to my GP, he found issues with my right nostril and I have a CT scan at the start of November, I also suffer a lot with ear ache. I think once you have an immune system or intolerance issue it affects all the body, when I was in hospital they put on red wrist bands for people with allergies but I got a white one as IBS is intolerance but once I got on the ward the sister said they still should have given the red wrist strap because tap water affects my bowl terribly and makes me vomit, she said they could have given me a drink and caused a lot more work for everyone, lucky for me my wife made sure I had enough spring water in my hospital bag for two days, the porter did ask why I took the family gold into hospital when he went to pick up my bag lol
I think my latest IBS that has been bad since the start of covid was caused by getting covid but there were no tests for it then, I had the chest pain and after I had the chest pain for about six weeks they sent me for chest X-ray that showed up heart issues so I ended up at Basildon cardiac centre for a coronary angiogram they though I would need stents but I didn’t, they said I had angina, and I am on heart, meds, so if it was covid it stopped me having a heart attack down the road. But just after I came back from hospital I started diarrhoea and still keep getting it now all these months later. I had the FIT test a year ago as my father died from colon cancer but lucky for me that came back clear, next week I have to give bloods before my GP can book me in for a colonoscopy, I have not had a colonoscopy for about 30 years I wonder if it has changed much? I guess I am going to find out. I don’t know about you but I struggle using public toilets? I went in one once that was disgusting and ever since I have a fear of them.
Sorry for the long message keep your chin up take care
Hi. I can relate to what you say. I have had IBS for some 50 years. Mine I think is stress . My granddaughter got married in Malta this June. I hate flying and started to worry . The family persuaded me to go with them. Well what with the flight and the heat there was 41. I was in bits. Taking painkillers and in bed. Got to the wedding but don’t quite know how. Dreaded the flight home again. Thank goodness my IBS eased off at home again but now it’s back big time . Started with Diarrhea a couple of weeks ago then the other way and dreadful stomach and back ache. Keep telling myself it’s my IBS but get worried it’s something else. People say oh just IBS don’t know what they are talking about. Hoping you feel bit better now and sending lots of hugs xxx
Hi Maureen. Im sorry you couldnt attend your sons Wedding but how lovely your Husband and son set up a video to live stream the Wedding so it must have felt like you were there with them. How thoughtful of them. Im glad all went well and yes it is a shame you werent there to cuddle him. Lets hope and pray that you will one day be able to cuddle your grandchild/grandchildren. I really feel for you but you may feel like life iiis not worth living but it is.you have the love of your family who understand. Keep strong Maureen. Love Sue xxx
Maureen, I'm sorry you missed being there with them on your son's big day. It's horrible to be a prisoner to IBS. I don't know how far away your son and his new wife live, but I am sure as time goes by they will come to visit you. And any little ones to arrive will do so too! Your son knows you love him.
Oh Maureen. Never mind poor me stuff. It was your sons wedding. I really feel for you. I was great that they could set up a live feed for you to watch but still not the same as being there. Your son sounds like a wonderful man and you must be so proud. Hoping that you'll soon be a grandma and they come and see you. Sending you a huge hug xx
Hi Maureen, I’m so sorry that you had to miss your sons wedding. How thoughtful of them to set up a video link so you could be part of their day. I’ve suffered from IBS nearly 20 years & missed many events & occasions. It really does limit your everyday life experiences & I’ve had to cancel things at the last minute. People that don’t have it just don’t understand. If I had a penny for every comment of “it’s just IBS” I’d be rich. I have 3 young grandchildren & still manage to spend time with them, they are such a joy & I can actually feel “normal” when I’m with them as I don’t feel stressed. There’s a massive link between the brain & gastro issues so stress plays a big part as I’m sure everyone on here knows. I hope you get to see your son & daughter in law soon & get to cuddle grandchildren in the not too distant future. Sending you a big hug & best wishes xx
I now just how you feel ihave had stomach problems since 1959 thats 63 years and bloody hell it shore can get you down.The thing that as kept me going is what my Grandma said to me .Look son no matter how bad you are there is always some poor sod worse off than you (S0rry about the lanuge)But at least with all these new inventions we can still see and contact our friends Etc
Aw Maureen. I feel for you! IBS can be very life limiting. I have vowed not to eat out again since the lengthy conversations I have had with waiting staff, with them rolling their eyes about a "fussy eater" have become too much and embarrassing. Plus, I end up with hardly anything on my plate and then have to fork out a fortune for a meal I wouldn't prepare myself at home. Then there's not be able to stay in hotels, since I need my own kitchen to prepare my own food. I have heard COVID-19 can play havoc with the gastro system, so I am still being cautious and only meeting people whilst still wearing a mask. Travelling abroad is out. For me, the things I hold onto are the things that I enjoy like listening to music or conversations with my partner or watching some of my favourite programs on streaming TV. It's just a case of finding those little nuggets, though I can imagine not being able to attend an event like that can be depressing. Though do you find sometimes that what should be happy events like Christmas, birthdays and other celebrations can have so much expectation on them i.e. I must have a great time and if you don't it can be a big let-down?
Thanks xjrs ❤️. Yes, we don't really do birthdays and Christmas anymore. Me and my husband just exchange cards now and that is all. When you get to our age you don't really want anything and if we do want something we just get it now (you can't take it with you and we don't spend a lot as we don't do a lot!).
IBS rules your life Maureen, I have had it for the last 12 years since we had a very stressful house move.. I am just glad I got it when I am older and not when I was young, as I dread to think how I would have got through life.. I have missed going to loads of family events over this, sounds like you and your son have a brilliant relationship and I think it's lovely you could watch the wedding on zoom.. hope future grand children come along fast as I have 7 grown up ones now and they fill life with such joy.. take care and you did the right thing for yourself xxxx
So sorry that you couldn't attend your son's wedding but lovely that you could watch it via a video link. Over the years I have missed so many family events including a granddaughter's recent wedding. My family always invites me to parties etc but know I will always decline because of my IBS. ♥️
I am so sorry you weren’t able to go to your sons wedding but good you were able to watch it at home.It is sad we have to miss things like this but I do think covid has not helped with IBS.I had my booster last Wednesday and had a bad flare the next day.Puts you off having another.I hope your grand babies come soon and you get to enjoy them.xx
Hi Maureen I am sorry to hear that you felt you were unable to attend your son's wedding. Your son seems very understanding. I suppose he has never known you without IBS. This illness just gets in the way and it's not ''only IBS''. it's a way of life for us. At least with modern technology you were able to see the wedding. I wish your son and his new wife all the best. Take care Maureen x
Hi Maureen, I am new to this forum, but I had already noticed that you are a very supportive person to others suffering with IBS. I am really sorry that you had to make the very sad decision not to go to your son's wedding...that must have been very difficult for you. There are a lot of heightened emotions around weddings and I was perhaps thinking that the anxiety surrounding this might have made your IBS worse? I know that you might have tried this already, but have you used the Nerva app? I have had severe IBS-D and have found that in just over a week, instead of going to the loo 8 times a day, I am down to 2 or 3 times now. I think tapping into the sub-conscious mind can be a powerful tool especially if your IBS is anxiety based. Don't beat yourself up Maureen for not going to the wedding, if your son has ADHD he will know that you have always been there to support him and you need to take care of yourself too.🤗
Hi Bonniegato, thank you for your lovely response to my post. Yes, I have tried Nerva recently as a last ditch attempt at hypnotherapy. I orginally tried hynotherapy when I was pregnant with my son. A GP friend of my GP at the time. I had two sessions at her house and she said that was all I needed. On the second visit I was not concentrating on it as I had morning sickness for the whole of my pregnancy and was trying not to be sick on her cream carpet in her lounge! Later on when my son left home for university, I tried Michael Mahoney's CDs, but got fed up with him telling me I was feeling better when I wasn't. If I remember rightly (I do still have them somewhere) I kept walking up this hill and he kept telling me I was feeling better and I wasn't!
I think I may have Bile Acid Malabsorption (BAM) but not enough to be given the medication (questran). I was tested for it about 4/5 years ago but didn't reach the criteria to get my hands on the medication. In the US they don't have to do a test, they just give you the medication to see if it helps.
so sorry to hear that you where unable to go to your sons wedding , but at least you got seeing him getting married . Not on the same scale as your sons wedding but missed out on my grandson birthday . My husband had to travel himself to celebrate it with and FaceTime me to share him opening his presents . I was heart broken . Now it’s my granddaughter birthday and same thing will happen I won’t be able to go . I had a fall now got fractured hip so rest and slow recovery but I know it will heal but the ibs-c is just on going and just wish they would find a cure for us all . Take care and a wee moan is what we all need every now and then . 💕💕
So sorry to hear how your IBS is controlling your life it makes me so cross that the G.P's don't provide more support and treatments for IBS.
I was diagnosed with IBS and Crohns disease 25 years ago. I have been quite lucky. Had a bowel resection 20 years ago and have the odd week here and there when I'm poorly but mostly am in remission living a normal life. That was until 2 years ago when i had the covid vaccines. I have never been right. I was also diagnosed with bile acid malabsorption January. I was offered the drugs but they made me very poorly. I control it with a diet of less than 30g of fat per day recommended by a dietician. I also do the FODMAP diet and a low irritant diet. No caffeine no alcohol no sugar no bread. My diet is so DEPRESSING i have very little motivation to eat as my diet is so boring. Occasionally i get really fed up and just eat a Chinese but boy do i suffer and regret it.
It might be worth you insisting your G.P. refer you to see a dietician to see if they can offer you any advice. A boring diet is not much fun but sometimes we would tolerate anything just to be able to attend family events.
Really hope you can get some good support from the professionals.
Oh no Maureen, just what you thought might happen, I'm so very sorry. Can't imagine the distress caused to you and family. But thank goodness for live streaming. Sending you loving thoughts and may God bless you. Xx
Oh thank you, I always knew I wouldn't be able to make it, but in the past I have sometimes got to things that I didn't think I could make, but a wedding is a long affair but anyway I don't have to worry about it anymore! All done and dusted. They are on honeymoon at the moment travelling around Scotland, sending us photos of where they are. 😊
My heart goes out to you Maureen. You're a very kind and supportive person. I am so sorry that you couldn't be at the wedding in person and totally understand why it was not possible. Glad you got to watch it all live online. I hope you are feeling at the least, a little bit better in yourself at the moment. All my love to you. ❤️
Oh thank you so much, it's so nice to have this group with people who understand. They are on their honeymoon touring round Scotland at the moment, sending us lovely photos. ❤️
Hi Maureen, please go back to your GP. During Covid my IBSD was horrendous and my doctor suggested a combination of drugs. I now take 2 Codine with 2 Imodium tablets every morning and then 1 Imodium and 1 Sertaline every evening. I cannot tell you how much better I have been. I wish someone had suggested this years ago.
I still have episodes but that internal monologue of, is there a loo nearby, have I got my shit kit with me, going to toilet 20 times before leaving the house!have receded. I still prepare myself and know every public WC in my area but I feel so much better. I know results are different for everyone but Please don’t suffer in silence. Small steps at a time can make a big difference. Take care
Hi Carol-Ann27, thank you for your reply. We seem to have been suffering with IBS about the same amount of time, so assuming we are maybe about the same age too. I am 64 now. I noticed in your reply to my post that you can go twenty times before leaving the house, have you ever heard of BAM (Bile Acid Malabsorption). See link below.
I was tested for this about 4/5 years ago but didn't quite reach the criteria to be given a bile sequestrant. But just recently (last week in fact) I have managed to get some Questran Light, so I am going to have a play with it and see if it can help me. I have been trying to get my hands on some of this for years. It may be that you are happy with how you are dealing with your situation, especially as it seems to be working for you but just thought I would let you know about BAM in case, as in many cases, you have never heard of it.
Hi Maureen, just read you have got some questran light, well done you I hope it makes an improvement for you. I am sorry that you missed your sons wedding my heart went out to you , and I couldn't find the words to express my sadness for you. How brave a family are you. I hope your son and his new wife will be very happy. Hopefully you will see them soon, there is nothing like a hug from your boy. I have two grown up sons and 3 grandchildren, growing up fast 23yr old grandson , 20yr old grandaughter and 16yr old grandaughter, they have kept me going through the tough times but have had some real tough times of their own. Family means a lot, hope you will be blessed with some little ones soon. Take care, let me know about the Questran, just start with one a day. I take mine early evening it works then for me, and I am sure you know you have to take it around other meds.
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My son is 12 and suffers with IBS D. His school are talking about legal action as he hasn't got to school for months. Any advice PLEASE ? 
My son
