IBS and constructive dismissal: Hi, I'm... - IBS Network

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IBS and constructive dismissal

53 Replies

Hi,

I'm experiencing lots of negative issues at a place of work that is having an impact on my IBS. I can control with food, as much as possible, but when it comes to stress I've no control. My health is suffering greatly. Does anyone have experience of having no choice but to leave work.

53 Replies
Nesie237 profile image
Nesie237

Are you taking probiotics for your IBS? Also, psych. therapy may help. I've been where you are,,and I did end up leaving that job. Negative energy is very stressful for anyone, but for someone with a condition like ours, it's so much worse. Wish I could be of more help. Good luck in your struggle, Nesie 237

in reply to Nesie237

Thank you so much. I tried some and they work when controlling with food, but with stress I've got no control. Thank you for taking the time to reply. It helps more than you know yo know people care.

Nesie237 profile image
Nesie237 in reply to

You are most welcome.

Looks like you've gotten more advice. It is difficult and embarrassing to try and explain this problem, and some people don't really seem to care. I don't know what your work situation is. Mine was positvely toxic. It was a neuro ICU, these were all doctors and nurses. I'm a nurse. You wouldn't think they'd be that way. I felt unwelcome from day 1, it wreaked havoc with both my gut and my head. It was like escaping prison when I left. I was so glad to be out of there.. All my jobs had stressors that would get to me and my gut, some were better, none was ever worse. Good luck. Feel free to ask any questions that concern you. Someone will offer advice. Nesie 237

in reply to Nesie237

Thank you so much. That's shocking what happened to you. I've come to the mind thought that some employers, no matter the field, are just interested in what they can get out of you, and anything that may mean adjusting is a pain to them. I'm so very glad I've joined this group. The wealth of advice and support is great! Thank you again 😊

Nesie237 profile image
Nesie237 in reply to

I'm glad you joined too, and glad it's helping. Some employers should have a whip to use. I retired at age 51 because of a size able stroke, am now 60. After physical recovery, it seems only my memory was affected. But I don't miss hospital shenanigans at all. Sometimes I miss helping patients. Take care, Nesie 237

in reply to Nesie237

Thanks 😊. This employer has truly put me off working for an employer again. It just seems everywhere employees are being treated like rubblish. I don't think I know of a person who is happy in their job with or without health conditions. The only people I know that are more relaxed and happy work for themselves.

That's sad that your not part of it all anymore. The 'human' side of working for an employer is great, it's the non feeling stiff robot side that causes the problems.

Have a great evening. Take care.

Nesie237 profile image
Nesie237 in reply to

That's true. Few people seem to be happy at their jobs. People I know have mostly retired and couldn't wait to leave. Working for yourself would be more satisfying. It's noon here now in California, getting hot today. Take care, Nesie 237

Deb131 profile image
Deb131

I left my job after my manager bullied me in relation to being off sick and needing to use the toilet frequently she demoted me and tried to take my hourly rate off me so I left and got a job as manager. I feel more relaxed and happy and my is is improving . Hope you can sort it out. Some people don't understand

in reply to Deb131

Sorry to hear your story, but happy you got a great outcome. It appears most who have travelled this path end up better off leaving.

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to Deb131

Oh Deb that's disgusting I don't wish harm to anyone but I think I might not sympathise with some of these nasty bosses if they got taken short !

In the 60's I worked as a GPO telephonist we had to press a buzzer put our hand up and ask for an "urgent" we weren't allowed to leave our switchboards until someone came to relieve us I didn't suffer then but I wouldn't be able to do that now 😊

Deb131 profile image
Deb131 in reply to Cat33

I work with children and if alone with them which happens I wouldn't be able to go to the toilet. Also if children were being changed I wouldn't be able to leave to go to the toilet as that's where we change the children so no toilet available. On a bad day I chose to stay at home rather than risk an accident. I also suffer from migraines. If I catch it early enough with tablets it was not to bad but the tablets said not to drive after taking. So my manager told me to not take tablets and drive to work with a migraine and then take the tablet when I got to work. The tablets didn't work if I left them too long plus I could t get out of bed they were so bad . I had 4 in 8 months and she called me in to discuss it and told me to sort it out. I did report her but she denied it. Luckily I no longer have to see her any more . We used to be friends before this .

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to Deb131

What an awful woman migraine is horrible It's awful in a job where you know you can't go to the toilet

I'm glad you don't have to see her she sounds a real bully Fancy telling you to sort out your migraines as if you have any control over when they arrive Probably the stress of her brought them on

I had to have an operation for fibroids while I was waiting some days (without too much information) I just couldn't dare leave the house as I was losing so much She came up to me and said How come other women can get to work with periods I had to give her a copy of all my hospital appointments I went back too soon after the op and suffered a hemorrhage

See was the nastiest women I left in the end as my IBS and migraines were so bad she called them headaches and that it was no excuse to take time off

Oh well I firmly believe what goes around comes around😊

Deb131 profile image
Deb131 in reply to Cat33

I definitely believe in karma. I would stick pins in a voodoo doll but that's going a bit far but she is a lot younger than me so I'm definitely hoping she develops illness in later years so she can see how awful it is . She never asked how I was either just said are u coming back tomorrow. I truly hate the woman

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to Deb131

I know exactly how you feel I too had real hate for my boss

They are truly evil Definitely believe in Karma This awful woman left after an Offstead report which was outstanding until she took over

Great moment!

Yes the old witch will get what she deserves and you can smile 😊

Deb131 profile image
Deb131 in reply to Cat33

So u work with children too

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to Deb131

I did, just started off filling in for lunchtimes at first when my youngest started school then they offered me a daily job Went on to be a classroom assistant Then one day the ex lovely head came to ask if Id go out 3 mornings a week to a pre school to look after a partially sighted little boy with a view to being his special needs assistant in school It was a dream of a job and I stayed with him all through school Then I had a little boy with allergies I was so happy I also did after school club but hated that The lovely old head left and this evil woman came in and turned my world upside down I retired and now I volunteer in a gorgeous village school they are lovely to me I think there are some really horrible woman that shouldn't even think about working with children xx

Josiesmum profile image
Josiesmum

Hello. I've read very good things about this product, N-A-G, for anxiety and IBS, may be worth a try:

amazon.co.uk/Jarrow-N-Acety...

in reply to Josiesmum

Thank you. I will look into it.

misty14 profile image
misty14

Hi jmp

Sorry to read your having problems at work which is impacting your IBS!. Can I suggest you contact Citizens Advice who have employment advisors who could help with any issues. Also they would run a benefits check to see how your finances would be if you did give up work. Big decision for you but maybe finding alternative employment elsewhere would be better?. They also have a good website with links to other organisations and helpful info. Good luck. Hope things improve for you.

in reply to misty14

Thank you. I'm with the union but they are very slow at replying. Think I will contact the CAB as you advise. Thank you for your help.

Cat33 profile image
Cat33

Yes and I have every sympathy for you I was forced out of a job I loved when a new person took over It was one of the worst times of my life and I was so ill My IBS was dreadful

I obviously don't know your circumstances but looking back I should have left long before I did instead of suffering every day

I also didn't do anything about what was going on and it was only afterwards that I found out I could have got help from a union which I didn't belong to but could have done so temporarily

My advice is if you can get out as soon as possible if you can If not please talk to your doctor Try self help for relaxation There are relaxation videos for IBS in You Tube

As soon as I left although I was heartbroken my IBS calmed down and I always think things are meant to be and I look back and think that awful woman actually did me a favour I found a much nicer job

I do wish you luck as I know the misery it causes 😊

in reply to Cat33

Thank you. I think your very right. Time to reflect. In glad it all worked out well for you. Thank you for sharing. It's helped a lot.

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to

I'm glad it helped It also happened to my husband in same way a new boss He doesn't have IBS but started to get the most horrendous migraines which he never had before He took legal advice got a good pay out found a new job and has never looked back

Good luck I always think no job is worth your health I know some people sadly have no choice

Keep smiling it will sort itself out and you will feel better IBS is hard enough to deal with without a rotten boss

Take good care 😊

in reply to Cat33

That's a great outcome!

Totally agree! No job is worth my health. There are always other choices I can work around. I trained myself in different areas so I have more choice of different career paths as I just could not see how, in the long term, I could work under this stress and be well enough to care for my children.

Pain and all I'm smiling. I believe I'm travelling this storm to see a great sunshine. 😊

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to

Wishing you loads of luck through the storm and into the sunshine again 🌞

in reply to Cat33

Thank you 😊

Cat33 profile image
Cat33 in reply to Cat33

Wow just read Samantha's reply how fantastic these forums are xx

You could try Rescue Remedy

in reply to

It did not work for me, but thank you anywY

Sar2262 profile image
Sar2262

Hi Jmp

Although no experience of constructive dismissal I have worked in HR and know some of the standard obligations your employer needs to make (or did since it may have changed).

Firstly what your employer should be doing. Your employer / line manager must be aware of your condition, how your work is affected by it, and what reasonable adjustments they can make so that you do not need to take time off sick. If it is stress related they must do a risk assessment and again they must make any reasonable adjustments. This might mean they move you to a different job or a different line manager but you must be able to still actually do the job otherwise they can say that you are unfit for the role. If they are a large employer they will have Occupational Health who will do these assessments and give the manager advice on what is a 'reasonable' adjustment.

Secondly, record everything. Dates/times/what happened. Save emails / correspondence as you will need it all as evidence if you do leave and go for constructive dismissal. Keep a diary of how your job / colleague has impacted on you , how your manager has ignored your requests for support or bullied you. Ask for decisions and requests in writing so you have a record. Do this as quietly and as discreetly as you can. Often very bad line managers can still make life really difficult whilst keeping within the companies policies.

Join the union as they can give advice as well as accompany you to important HR meetings to make sure the company follows procedure. (My experience of this wasn't great though I have to say, Managers thought of union as trouble causes and after that my relationship with the manager was all down hill). I'd recommend bringing them in later when things get really serious and you have nothing to lose. You could though still get advice).

Above all, and I am sure you are doing this anyway. Keep telling them how your health is affecting you and your job or vice versa. I've known one or two managers who have played dumb saying they had no idea. The IBS network has a leaflet you can give to your employer I think which is a useful guide assuming they are at all interested. Get your doctor to back you up in what you can and cannot do or the areas where your job is impacting on your health and give this to your employer. If they can deny any knowledge of your condition or how it effects your work constructive dismissal will be hard to prove.

Good luck.

Samantha x

in reply to Sar2262

Hi Samantha,

Thank you so much for your detailed advise and guidance. I have many emails about my condition and how stress is impacting it which goes back over a few years. They have made myself an appointment with the OH so will see what comes of it, however I'm off because they refused to do any adjustments for myself or my son ( who has IBD who I care for) which has lead to increased stress and my IBS going off the charts.

Thank you again

JMP x

Little-nelly profile image
Little-nelly in reply to

My daughter is experiencing similar issues and seemed to be hitting a brick wall. However she went to Occ Health and involved HR and her managers manager, since then things have started to improve and they are actually giving proper consideration to her IBS and offering support. I think it helped significantly that the OH doctor stated that he considered IBS would come under DDA as a long term condition. Good luck!

in reply to Little-nelly

Thank you. You have relieved me a little on going to the OH. I'm so untrusting of the workplace I thought they was just there for there sake and would go with whatever the employer is trying to do.

london81 profile image
london81

I've been in the position where I felt I couldn't stay in my job, due to needing toilet often and being late due to needing to go before work. I'm lucky I've worked with people who were sympathetic and I've somehow managed but I really do understand what you are saying, and I can see how it would be hard to stay at work. My best advice, as someone who trained in law, is to seek legal advice on the specifics. You can get free legal advice on employment from law works legal clinics, they offer face to face usually one off advice and written advice. lawworks.org.uk/legal-advic...

I also take bowel calm by clever cultures, that helps me a lot. I use magnesium spray every night. I also take ashwanghanda powder which helps with fatigue.

Good luck!

in reply to london81

Thank you. I have the very same issue re the toilet. The employer is not understanding at all and their actions reflect this. Will try the spray and powder. Not heard of them before. Thanks for the recommendation.

london81 profile image
london81 in reply to

That's horrible I know what you mean, it's hard to explain the situation especially to those who are without empathy! I take those supplements as I have hashimotos a form of thyroid disease which I believe is closely linked to ibs-d. Please do seek medical advice before you take any of the supplements in case you have any reason you can't take them, I was diagnosed by a thyroid expert dr Peatfield so obviously I can't give medical advice, just my opinion Based on experience. I wish you the best of luck.

in reply to london81

Than, you. I will. I'm grateful for your advice and input.

in reply to

Thank you

fenbadger profile image
fenbadger

I agree with Sar2262 . However sometimes the difficulty of fighting your case is too much. I've just changed jobs for a similar reason. The so called ISO 9001 employer (about respect for employees) started the retirement on health grounds process. I was lucky. Something else came up and I'm now well settled. And there's a little comfort in the old employer is suffering because not only the haven't yet recruited my replacement but someone else left during a critical time.

I wish you success :)

in reply to fenbadger

Wow, that's great that you came out on top. I guess the seeds the employer sowed came out to fruitation in the form they planted them. What goes around comes around.

Agapanthus profile image
Agapanthus

I would agree with all Sar2262 says above re how to help yourself in knowing your employment rights (I was previously a union and H & S rep and faced with disability issues myself in the workplace). I know from my own experience how hard it can be to cope with emotionally.

Unfortunately though, if you have an unsympathetic, unsupportive employer then the stress will remain unless they agree to give a little and provide 'reasonable adjustments' as they surely should in your situation under the law. It does sound as if more pressure needs to be put on them to do this, either by OH hopefully, or your trade union who are probably overwhelmed by similar cases (but do put pressure on them to attend meetings with you if needed as they should be doing so).

It is my view that employers are taking advantage of employees more now that they know that the Govt have made employees pay to attend employment tribunals, amounts that most employees cannot afford, although if your union backs you, they should pay this fee. In general though I think this is the reason for employers acting in the way they are doing (e.g. have read about this in the press).

I do have IBS myself although it's under much better control now and I would hesitate to give advice on it, as it's different for everyone. I make my own kefir and have changed my diet drastically (sounds as if you already do this though), and sugar and gluten for me are the biggest problem areas, along with others. I have read that hypnotherapy can be very useful though and may also help with the stress aspects too.

in reply to Agapanthus

Thank you. Great knowledge. Thank you for sharing. I think your very right why the employer feels they can do this.

The union is very slow, but I was not looking at it they are snowed under, but that maybe very much the case. I will not have a meeting without them there, so the employer will have to wait. I found out that my home insurance covers issues of this nature so hopefully if the union don't support and pay, they will.

The only part of my IBS that I can't get control of is when under stress. Food I can play about with and adjust. I kept a food log to see what gives me issues, what did not and what appeared to calm me down. Funny enough cream crackers really help me.

Agapanthus profile image
Agapanthus in reply to

It sounds as if you are doing your best to think it through and do all you can to alleviate the problems. Not easy though I know.

You are very wise to tell the employer that they will have to wait re the meeting until the union can be with you. Not a lot they can do really on that, and maybe the OH will be helpful and remind them of their responsibilities as employers, fingers crossed!

Interesting that cream crackers are helpful. I am guessing that they are rather bland and well processed so help to bind you up a bit and slow things down. Also they don't have yeast in them (I think) so maybe that is more an issue with bread. Curiously they do seem to put sugar of some kind in nearly everything and that tends to get me going, but maybe you have some crackers that don't have it in.

I find that some supplements tend to get me moving too quickly gut wise, such as magnesium, but now I am retired it's not such an issue for me as I am at home more. I do use some transdermal supplements instead, and visit a medical herbalist who gives me a mix of soothing digestive herbs such as camomile and marshmallow, and dandelion. However I now have a lot of upper gut issues these days that are worse than the lower gut ones!

IreneRouse profile image
IreneRouse

Yes! I worked at LHR. The environment exacerbated my stress. The best thing I ever did was to listen to my body and move on!

in reply to IreneRouse

Health has got to come first. I'm really reflecting on this. I've little choice as its stopping me. I can deal with some stress, but the stress here is impossible and not getting any better.

Try to find time to relax if only 5 mins doing deep breathing exercises. Breathe in your nose hold for as long as you can and then exhale through your mouth. Make sure that you feel your tummy rising instead of your chest this will help to relax the Bowel muscles and also to des tress yourself.

I hope this helps in the interim.

Michelle

in reply to MichelleCardosa293

Thank you. I workout often which really helps me to destress, but it's when there under the non-stop stressful pressure and work overload that makes it practically impossible.

I cant work anymore bec. of my IBS and anxiety. It's tough!

in reply to Freelancewriter12

Sorry to hear. It's a really hard condition. It just seems to have a mind of its own.

Goldilocksflow profile image
Goldilocksflow

Is it just the stress of the job or are you getting grief because of your symptoms? As has been suggested CAB or similar for legal advice.

When was the last time you visited the quack? I know you only get 10 minutes these days but it will be on record that your symptoms have worsened because of work related stress.

You could try and ask for CBT treatment which may help with symptoms and stress management.

in reply to Goldilocksflow

Both! They are not being flexible due to my symptoms and the stress of the non stop heavy workload is blowing my symptoms sky high.

Went to the doctor this week. It's on record.

What's CBT treatment?

Goldilocksflow profile image
Goldilocksflow

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. For self help you could try Mindfulness to help with stress. Have a look at books by Kabat Zinn on Amazon. I'm also a big fan of (get ready for another acronym) ACT acceptance and commitment therapy. If stress is your trigger it's also the solution.

Agapanthus profile image
Agapanthus

Just had another thought re getting support legally is to go to ACAS for advice if you get stuck before the union get back to you... they have a help line:- acas.org.uk/index.aspx?arti...

The Acas helpline number is 0300 123 1100. It is available Monday 8am-8pm, Tuesday 8am-6pm, Wednesday to Friday 8am-8pm and Saturday 9am-1pm.

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