Anorexic Tendencies

[tigerblossom55]

Most days I’ll eat nothing in the morning, go to school and feel so faint and nauseous that I eat a granola bar for a snack. Most days I’m not even hungry when it’s dinner. My stomach rarely growls like a normal person’s stomach would. I eat so little, I don’t know how I’m not super skinny. Most people wouldn’t expect me to have anorexic tendencies. I’m about 140 pounds right now. About a month ago I was 150. I haven’t exercised much, except for just plain old walking around. I’ll usually eat little amounts of food for a few months straight, and then totally binge out until I’m so bloated and full for a few days, and then feel so guilty that I don’t eat barely anything again. It’s a repeating cycle. I know I should eat more in a day than a small snack and a small portion of my dinner, but I just can’t bring myself to eat sometimes.

[Sammy987]

Hey, have you been diagnosed with an eating disorder? I’ve been in recovery for 2 years and am at a really good place. I’ve recently gone all in and just eating mechanically to get me out of energy deficit . I also really struggle with hunger cues but the less we eat the worse it becomes ( trust me I’ve been there ) it’s amazing you have spoke out and admitted this could be an issue . Would you like to get in touch 💓💓

[tigerblossom55 in reply to Sammy987]

I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor. Thank you for reaching out, it’s nice to know somebody had similar experiences and is now doing better I’d love to get in touch, there’s not really anybody I can talk to about it. Thx again!

[Sammy987 in reply to tigerblossom55]

Want to pm me on here - are you on insta or Facebook? 16 years of an Ed I’ve had and finally I’m proud to say it’s not a huge part of me anymore... you can get there but honestly ? For recovery you need to be accountable ( with my help ) you have to really want it, deep down I’m sure you do...life with an Ed is not freeing at all xxx look forward to your reply and we can connect and learn a bit more about each other xx

[Hidden in reply to Sammy987]

Sammy can I PM you? Or will you PM me? I would like to talk to you as I am a struggling 20-year anorexic and seem to have a lot in common with you except the recovery part which is what I want...

[crazycrossstitcher]

You certainly need to talk to someone about this - do you have a school/college counsellor - or your GP/practice nurse should be able to help. Its really important you talk to someone now - losing 10lbs in a month is significant and I know from experience once it starts its really hard to stop - so please do talk to someone who can help you get back on level ground again - don't let it develop any further as I know also from experience how quickly you can lose control without realising and rapidly become very unwell.

[tigerblossom55 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you for sharing, I’m trying to find someone to talk to about it, but unfortunately there’s not much mental health or counselling support where I live.

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to tigerblossom55]

I know it can be really difficult - have you tried anorexia and bulimia care or BEAT - both have good websites and helplines and may be able to point you in the right direction.

[Houseelf]

I really advise you to seek professional help. You don't have to be 'super skinny'. 10 pounds in one month is a massive amount of weight to loose so quickly. I have been where you are and there is another, better side.

[tigerblossom55 in reply to Houseelf]

Thank you for responding, I realize I do have to get professional help, it’s just scary sometimes with my anxiety.

[Houseelf in reply to tigerblossom55]

That's understandable and I'm sure all of us who have AN can relate, as it is the anxiety that keeps one trapped in the ED loop. However, the only way out is through. No matter how uncomfortable it is. Challenge, repeat and slowly, over time, the anxiety will ease. AN keeps us in the waiting room for our life.