I got diagnosed and I cannot believe how much they expect me to eat.

[sliverofsilver]

Hi. I’ve just been diagnosed with anorexia, and the specialist team have put down a health plan. I’m underweight, they say, so they expect me to eat three meals and THREE SNACKS A DAY! I don’t know how in the world I’m to manage that when I can’t even manage a glass of water sometimes. I just can’t. I really can’t. I know I should be positive, but I’m terrified and shaking and on the verge of tears thinking about it. I just don’t know if I can do it.

[lillyofthevalley37]

Are you an inpatient or being treated while at home ? I understand that it is incredibly difficult to eat like they are asking and also I am surprised they expect it of you

[sliverofsilver in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

I’m being treated at home.

[Hidden]

Hello, have you discussed your feelings and fears with the specialist team? For a plan to work it has to be achievable, so it's really important that you are open and frank with them about your concerns. Don't delay in speaking to them. Take care,

[sliverofsilver in reply to Hidden]

I’m a little scared to talk to them about it, since they just seem so expecting and intimidating. I’ll probably begin with talking it through with my school counsellor- she’s actually helped me the most out of all the outside support I’ve received so far. Perhaps she may be able to put together a plan. Thank you for replying, really appreciate it x

[Hidden in reply to sliverofsilver]

Good idea - you do need a plan - one that works (obviously) in terms of restoring your weight but also one that you are comfortable with. It's disappointing that the specialist team come across as 'intimidating' - they should come across as ultra-supportive. That's what they are paid for - maybe they don't realise? Is there a family member who could accompany you when you see them to give you some moral support and also act in an advocacy role? Take care,

[sliverofsilver in reply to Hidden]

The specialist team are friendly enough, but they are, let’s say, *extremely* firm. Like, *extremely*. I asked why I had to eat three snacks as well as three meals (as not even anyone I know has to eat three snacks) and they’ve said it’s to gain weight. I replied that I may not be able to manage that and they said, ‘you’re going to have to!’ I do have my parents who already come along for moral support, but they follow the word of the specialists, so aren’t great at understanding, but I appreciate their hugs

[Hidden in reply to sliverofsilver]

Unless you have suffered from an eating disorder, it is very, very difficult (maybe impossible?) to fully understand it, so I can empathise with your parents but the more they find out about ways to support you, what to say, how to respond etc, the better they can support and encourage you. There is an online skills training course for carers that might help them, run by Lucy Spencer from King's College London, which I have completed and found very useful. I do not know if the courses are still available but here is a link. You could e-mail Lucy to find out. Here is a link: beateatingdisorders.org.uk/...

Take care,

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

One other thing that would be beneficial I think for you and your parents - family therapy. It is free on the NHS....you just need a referral...maybe you could ask your GP about this or the local mental health team. Definitely worth considering. The more help and support you and your family can get the better.

[sliverofsilver in reply to Hidden]

My father’s signed up now. He’s very grateful, and so am I. My father actually is in association with King’s College, so he may even be able to meet Lucy. We are getting family therapy as well, I forgot to mention, but it’s not started yet, I believe it starts next week.

[Hidden in reply to sliverofsilver]

Fantastic news !!! Parents and carers feel such a mix of emotions....frustration, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, helplessness......it's so difficult knowing how best to support their loved one. My very best wishes to you and your family...for the 3 most important things in life.....health, hope and happiness.

[sliverofsilver in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. You too.

[crazycrossstitcher]

I too am at home under a dietician - have now been waiting nearly a year to get the counselling to back this up - so I do know how scared and alone you feel. I too was amazed at the amount of food needed just to keep me alive - and just how much extra was required to gain weight. If you are not getting counselling support - suggest you contact ABC and talk about a befriender - I found them fantastically helpful. Secondly - talk to the person setting your diet openly - I was overwhelmed initially - but then we broke things down - 3 meals and 3 snacks is my "prescription" too (find talking about it as medicine helps a bit). I started by just having 3 small meals and 3 small snacks - and then gradually increased the amounts in each - I find this easier to take on board. I also wrote a meal plan out and when I got to a " I can't" I looked at the plan and used this as my safety - that's what my medicine is - that's been set by a professional - my experience is that even with the 3 meal/3snacks - its been incredibly difficult to gain weight. The most important thing is to talk about the feelings you are having - don't sit alone and spin round in circles - and even if you only have very small meals and snacks - that is better than a glass of water - so don't keep beating yourself up - just take a small step at a time - but keep taking the steps - its worth it to get your life back.

[sliverofsilver in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you for replying, I really and truly appreciate it. Fortunately, I’ve made progress. Yesterday, I couldn’t manage any food or liquid, not even water, but today so far I’ve managed half a grated apple and I’m already feeling much stronger and have much more energy in me, although I’m still very weak. Unfortunately, the befrienders are only for 18+ I believe, and I’ve still got a little time until that x

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to sliverofsilver]

Great re the apple - but do please try to build on this as nutritionally it will do little for your body - and from experience the effects of low nutrition can be really serious - sometimes life threatening - in later life - so what you do now really is important - do try to have a supplement eg complain - this contains all the nutrients but I found didn't feel so challenging as eating sandwiches with fruit and a yoghurt for lunch!

[sliverofsilver in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Yeah, I will definitely try to build on it. I’m a little doubtful about whether I’ll be able to eat meat, not from a vegan’s point of view, just because it seems a little scary. Might stick to tofu as a protein source- we’re a Japanese family so tofu’s always available.

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to sliverofsilver]

tofus fine - just make sure you get a good protein, fat and carb balance.

[Hidden in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Excellent advice.

[sliverofsilver in reply to Hidden]

I agree 😄 but your advice was great too!

[art62grammie]

I started treatment for my Anorexia just six years ago come Jan. 2019 for the first time ever. I am a hard physical hard worker. I am a farmer. I had to eat 3,000-5,000 calories daily for the first year to recover. Don't think about it. Just do it. Your body may require lots of food to get your wight on. I know how hard it is to eat all they want you too. I was so afraid to consume water before treatment. I sure didn't know all this food would require so much toilet paper. If it goes in got to come out. LOL. Listen to your doctors. Good luck. Thinking of you.

[Enjaymar]

Hi there, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve just been referred back to this kind of structured eating too for the second/third time. There’s a really useful set of skills to power you through some (not all) of the initial feelings. I mean, I still feel horrible about what I’m doing but I’m doing it! This website I think is where the skills come from (my dietician gave me a book form. )

thedecider.org.uk