Help Needed Before Its Too Late

[Pettical000]

Within the past week I found out my girlfriend, 16, has relasped and is back to not eating for a day or two then binging and purging. It itsnt bad yet she usually does this once a week, nothing more. She is open about her problem to her trusted friends and family but doesnt recongnize its a problem since she has and somewhat still gets bullied to this day about her weight and appearance. Her mother is trying to help but she isnt doing a good job since she told her she inst gonna buy her food if shes gonna purge and she inst the nicest to her either. I am fully committed to helping her and I am able to get support from my family and my friends that I consider family. I dont want this to be what ends our relationship or what ends her life. I am deeply concerned if not scared and i have shared my concern a few times already. I would like to know how I can help her overcome this illness and restore her inner peace. This has a great effect on my mental health. I have drawn links to her family and my school that could be possible triggers. So far bullying and lack of care for her mental helth from her mother and siblings. She tells me that i am everything shes ever wanted and that she feels safe and loved around me which gives me hope for when i move out since she wont be around those triggers. She has hallucinations at night, visual and auditory, since she doesnt feel comfortable at home. Im confident this wont be an issue in the future but thats no excuse to sweep it under the rug.

[crazycrossstitcher]

I can truly feel your pain for your girlfriend - it is very hard being a "carer" and seeing someone you love in such an "unhappy" state and suffering from an illness like this. On the positive side - she is open about her illness - and you are standing with her in this. Do you have any contact with school/college counsellors - this could be a first step for your girlfriend as she is prepared to share her struggles. ABC also has a helpline for sufferers and carers - and their website also gives really good advice - so this might also be another avenue for you. Its important that your girlfriend does get some counselling help as there are clearly family issues around for her - as well as issues over body image. Addressing these might help resolve a great deal for her.

[agse01]

I commend you for caring so much and wanting to help your girlfriend! From someone who understands what she is going through (I've been there), the most important thing that she needs is love and support. It's unfortunate that her mother is not being more empathetic and compassionate. Unfortunately, her saying that she isn't going to buy food if your gf is just going to purge it, is shaming her more then anything which is going to continue to send her into a tailspin. Unfortunately, those that don't understand say these things thinking they are helping or taking a "tough love" approach. Neither are helpful. To be honest, your gf is probably going to need professional help to get over this. Rarely, do people completely overcome this on their own. There is so much going on internally that needs to be dealt with and new coping mechanisms need to be taught. Is there a school counselor that you or she could talk to? Is there anyway that she can get in to therapy? If you are going to help her, it's also important that you take care of yourself. Please know that you can not be her savior. You can't make it better for her on your own, there is only so much you can do. Both of you need support in walking though this. So please make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. I know you say this won't be an issue in the future, but from experience, and what I have learned about Eating disorders/mental health issues, even if these specific triggers are removed, doesn't guarantee that this behavior won't continue in the future. New triggers will arise. This is how she copes with negative emotions and experiences. Until she learns new coping strategies she will fall back on what she knows. I know this is not easy. Wishing you and your gf the best.