Recovery is possible

[Citylife]

I had been battling anorexia for over 3 years and finally managed to beat it 2 months ago. It hasn't been easy and I have had moments when I thought I would be stuck with AN for ever. When ever I took steps forward I always seemed to take many more backwards and AN got louder and louder. I thought the only way to shut her up was to listen to her and do what she said. I am a Christian and for me my faith has kept me going. I believe my recovery is down to God as I tried to get well on my own and tried my way and nothing worked finally when I could go on no longer I cried out to him to help me. He listened and answered that prayer as I haven't looked back since. I now have a healthy relationship with food and exercise only for fun. I have been officially discharged from my eating disorder counsellor and both her and my GP can't believe the transformation in me. I am a healthy BMI and enjoy going out with my friends and living again. I just want to say to others out there, hang in there because recovery is possible. I will keep reading posts and if I can offer words of encouragement I will as I want to be able to help others as I have been helped.

[loppyloo61]

Hi Citylife, Congratulations & Well done you! To overcome such an insidious, cruel illness like AN is wonderful, I am so delighted for you that you have your life back!

I am also a Christian, I have carried AN around with me for 40 years!

I thought I was in with a chance when I was struck down with Pneumonia, Septicaemia, Sepsis, Respiratory Failure & my Vital Organs started to shut-down & I was incubated on to a Life-Support Machine in Intensive Care Unit! My lovely husband & 3 sons were told that they did"nt expect me to survive for the next 24 hours!

The Anaesthetist who Incubated me on to the Life-Support Machine said that I was an absolute Miracle as no-one expected me to have survived the night!

I believe that God is looking after me, as I was told by another Palliative Care Consultant I see for my Illnesses with Chronic Pain & extremely rare incurable Syndromes "That if I were a Cat, I have used all 9 Lives up!!"

I went straight from that hospital to a Psychiatric Hospital to "Specialised High-Risk Eating Disorder" Ward. I have been an Out-patient since New Years Eve 2012, still having intensive therapy but my BMI has gone up just a little, my weight & BMI is still drastically low! I ended up in hospital again in April this year with Pneumonia, Sepsis, collapsed lungs again! I pray every day, have friends praying for me as I believe in the "Power of Prayer!" I just pray that 1 day God will put the Light-bulb on for me & save me, I sometimes think I will be one of the ones who will never actually recover! This of course breaks my heart as I have the most loving, caring wonderful husband & three fantastic sons, I am so very Blessed & have everything to live for but try as hard as I do & continually in Prayer, I just feel I am not going to make it @ times & this scares me to death! I also feel embarrassed as I"m 53 years old, when I go into "Group Meetings" in Hospital I am always the eldest there, as if I should know better. Maybe I have just had it for far to long to contemplate a full recovery?!!

I have seen your name on here in the past & just want to wish you every blessing in your new future ahead AN Free! May God always walk alongside you & keep you safe. You are so fortunate to have your whole life ahead of you! Grasp it with both hands & enjoy every single minute of every day, because You are Worth it!

God Bless you

Hugs Betty Baby XX

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to loppyloo61]

This may seem a strange response- but you have really helped me by your post - I am 54 - have been anorexic for nearly 40 years - and also feel a sense of despair at ever recovering - but the truth is that God sets the prisoners free - we have to grasp that freedom - in my case I can't at the moment comprehend what this means - how to live a life free from food issues - and I guess fear of the unknown - fear of losing control - keeps me a prisoner. I want to walk in the light - but seem trapped in darkness - kept here by my own fears. In a sense it is so good to know that there are others out there who have and are struggling like myself - who are "older" and know the feelings of living long-term with an ED.

[Hidden]

Citylife YOU DID IT :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAY Hats off to you!! You and the big fella upstairs hey?? Credit where credit is due, You did the work and he was your own personal unwavering support team. That is just brilliant news - good luck out there kiddo xoxo Julie

[crazycrossstitcher]

Great to read - I just pray that I might walk in the light with God as you have done one day.

[Hidden]

Hi citylife, I remember some of your earlier despairing posts and I am so encouraged by your recovery. It has helped me to know that getting to be a healthy weight is possible. I thank God for you and also pray for your protection in the forthcoming months and years.

It is so liberating not to be dominated by anorexia. I pray that I may know the freedom that recovery gives too.

with my very best wishes

anniephys