Made a doctors appointment

[Shamble30]

Well I've made an appointment with the doctor to talk about my ED, its on the 9th January. Looking for any advice on how I ask for help, what to say, what they might do. I am very worried as you can imagine and since it seems so far away I'm also scared about bottling it and backing out. It is also a doctor I haven't seen before so I'm a little anxious about that too. What experiences has anyone else had with their GP's? I know people who have had other mental health issues who have had awful trouble getting their doctors to understand and help them, most are just given pills and told to return in 3 weeks. If this appointment doesn't go well I am worried that I wont return, so I have to be prepared with what I am going to say etc. I'd be grateful for any advice thanks xx

[Hope47]

Well done for making the appointment, that's a massive step. I have been fortunate in that my Dr is very understanding and has given me lots of possible solutions, I'm unfortunately the brick wall and not always willing to do what needs to be done!

Telling my Dr was the result of an appointment with a neuropsychologist who was assessing my suitability for a mindfulness course. He suggested 'talking therapy' and that I should self-refer!!! Something made me do it and as part of the process my Dr was informed and we talked! He knows things about me that not even my best friend knows, things I wouldn't dream of sharing with my nearest and dearest!

Try and keep the appointment, make some notes and explain that it's difficult for you to open up but you feel it's time and hope that they will understand. If you feel that they aren't listening you could say...if this is something that you'd rather not deal with could you recommend a Dr who would. Also...did you make a 'double' appointment? You'll need more than the normal allocated 10minutes and often my Dr tells me to book a double appointment!

I'm not sure if any of this helps but it's good to have a medical pair of ears who can keep an eye on things! Good luck and let me know how you get on.

[Shamble30 in reply to Hope47]

Thank you. Has the therapy helped you at all? I'm worried its not going to work, I'm still trying to pluck up the courage to phone ABC but talking is not my strong point especially about something that is so personal to me. I just want to get it over with it seems so far away!! I will let you know if i make it.. thank you for your reply xx

[Hope47 in reply to Shamble30]

I find that talking to a stranger/someone that is not close is actually easier and almost gives a sense of relief!

When I went to my Dr after having been assessed by a psychologist for people with eating disorders I explained that I felt like I was on a rollercoaster...like I was losing control and other people were trying to take over! The psychologist wanted me to tell family etc which I wasn't prepared to do so withdrew from their services! I told my Dr this, he didn't lecture me, he said that he would keep an eye on me...I could have blood tests to monitor my electrolytes and I'd at any point I wanted to change my mind he was there to help! I'm lucky that I don't feel like he judges me...but then to be honest no one can judge me more harshly than myself. He is just a pair of ears and it's good to talk...even if it doesn't make sense!

Try not to back out, January will soon be here...remember that you are important, you deserve to give yourself a chance and there shouldn't be any pressure.

I'm here if I can be of any use...especially at Christmas, it can be a tricky time-I love it. It am dreading it too! Take care. X

[Shamble30 in reply to Hope47]

Thankyou.. I remember a few years ago I went to the doctor and was forwarded to a nurse who used to come to me once a week but i hated it. This progressed to a meeting with a psychologist who told me that people with disordered eating can live normally, it was as if she didn't believe me and that eating disorders weren't a real problem, stuck me on some pills and that was that. I think im just scared of the same thing happening, that approach really didn't work it just made me think it was ok to carry on. I'll never know if i don't turn up so i intend to keep this appointment, I just know it will be difficult.

As for Christmas... such a stressful time I absolutely hate it lol i hope yours goes ok and that you enjoy it thank you for replying xxx

[Hope47 in reply to Shamble30]

Hi, as hard as it may be you need to try and put the experiences from the past behind you or use these when you see the doctor, for example...the reason it's taken me a while to come is because of bad previous experiences...and it was incredibly hard to make this appointment... Use your past experiences to try and get something more positive from your appointment.

I find it it quite comforting talking to my doctor...although sometimes it's not long enough and I feel like I'm actually wasting his time when there are more genuine, less 'self-inflicted' patients to see! I actually had an appointment today and he reassured me! We talked about control and he said that he would like to see me trying to turn the control to my advantage...remembering to take medication; not using/reducing the amount of laxatives; not using self-harm as a coping mechanism! He did acknowledge that it wouldn't be easy...I just smiled!

I think I like talking to him because I actually feel quite alone with this...now feel on a real low, want to binge...laxatives already taken...and just want to hurt!

Sorry, this is not what you need to hear!

Have you started making notes to take with you to the doctors appointment? Making the notes will really help and help to keep you focused.

Take care. X

[Shamble30 in reply to Hope47]

Haven't started any notes yet no... I hope you are feeling better today. 'Want to hurt'.... that's me all over and the phrase couldn't be put into simpler terms. Its self punishment of the highest degree and I cant understand why we do the things we do but I suppose nobody ever will. I guess it is a control thing in the long run, i use self harm as a tool to feel better and I feel like that is my therapy, I like hurting. Tell me how someone recovers from a pain they crave so much? Please reply I hope you are having a better today today xx

[Hope47 in reply to Shamble30]

Hi, it is all about control and the rational part knows that it's not right and that it can be overcome if one uses different, healthier strategies to replace the self-abusive ones...that's what the rational side would say...and no doubt that is what a professional would say!

I do it because I get an instant relief...a physical pain I think that tries to match the turmoil/hatred/self-loathing I feel; I also do it so I can see what I've done and it's supposed to be a reminder of the wrong I have done, so punishment I guess! With what I do I can also get ongoing pain from the SH, for example when the skin 'sticks' to clothing or feels like it is burning; when I stretch if the wound stretches I almost get a sick pleasure from the pain/discomfort I feel-definitely not normal, I know!

I dabbled with laxatives when I was a teenager but it didn't come to much...this time, for nearly two years, I've been taking too many...not loads but between 20-30 everyday...can't break the cycle at the mo but I'm not sure I want to...mad eh?! My Dr knows about this and if I'm feeling unwell I have blood tests to check my electrolytes...have had really low potassium recently, due to a sickness bug...felt crap but lost half a stone-every cloud!!

I hate the fact that I feel like I've lost control...trying to restrict, then binge eating on the foods that I'd denied myself for years! I'm constantly trying to find ways to undo the bad that I did/do with my eating! I've lost a lot of weight in the last couple of years and I feel like people are just waiting for me to return to being a whale...which is how I actually see myself!

Some days, a lot of days, I would just like to hibernate...pull a duvet over my head and just vanish for a bit, a bit like a caterpillar in it's cocoon...and come out like a beautiful butterfly-well, maybe less of a nut job, with a genuine happiness and no facade! It's hard work to put on an 'everything is fine' facade!

Anyway, I'm here anytime if you need to chat...not sure if there's another way of doing it rather than on this thread e.g like private message...but it's good to have someone out there!

Take care. X

[Shamble30 in reply to Hope47]

Wow, you sound a lot like me everything you've said there I can really relate to!! Yea be good to chat that would be cool, not sure how either though lol im still working this website out. I'm glad its not just me who feels like this, makes me feel a little less nutty I guess. Well not really lol xx

[crazycrossstitcher]

I'm so glad you've taken this step - its so brave of you as I know how much courage it takes to admit problems. I've varied experience of GPs and help offered - but my recent appointment went really well - the GP admitted how little he knew about EDs - but has got me into mental health services and we're now exploring the way forward from there - I was open and honest about my struggle and weight issues - and he took me seriously and did a series of tests eg bloods - and checked my weight. Good luck - write down all that is happening to you - I wrote a series of points I needed to cover as I knew I'd be completely flummoxed when I met him. Good luck.

[Shamble30 in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thankyou.. I think I will write some things down as I suspect the same thing will happen to me if I try to go in unprepared. I'm just so scared, and its so far away I'm worried I'm going to back out. Talking about this to a stranger seems like a really wacky thing to do when its been such a big secret for all this time xx

[crazycrossstitcher]

Sometimes talking to a stranger is easier - I found once I started it wasn't as hard as I thought - talking to my family and friends was much more stressful as they were closer to me and I saw them every day - my GP was just the occasional visit so once I'd done it I wasn't going to see them again for some time. Go for it and good luck.