Daughters bulimia

[Mumache]

My daughter is 16 , she is going through bulimia right now, she has been getting professional help but I’m not sure if it’s the right person or was I expecting a quick fix, I see her struggling every minute of every day, thinks out food , watching food/recipes, her binges, how can I actually getting her to the turning point,

[gillymummy]

There's no quick fix - I know us Mums pray for one. If there is even a tiny little bit of progress, then things are going in the right direction - it's progress. If there's no progress, maybe your professional helper needs to tweak something. The long road back to health is painfully slow, and not always going in the right direction. But if there's a plateau, something needs to be changing. Wishing you all the best x

[crazycrossstitcher]

It must be so hard to feel powerless to help. It does take time to recover - and its a long hard road - I'm speaking from personal experience - but there is hope - I've been clear of bulimia for 30 years (started in 20s - took 5 years to recover). Don't give up - and tell your daughter she can recover. I used a number of strategies that helped me reduce my binging before recovery. When I had eaten I made sure I was with others afterwards - or had an activity planned; I had a number of friends who I could phone just to chat generally too. It was about distracting myself after meals - and getting away from the thoughts around food. I also had a clear meal plan set for me which included all main food groups - and allowed for treats so as not to be merely avoiding some foods - and ticked things off daily which gave me a sense of control. However, the need to binge was occasionally over powering - and it was then about not beating myself up about what I saw as failing. I also recognised trigger foods - so tended only to eat these when I was with others to prevent a binge developing. Counselling was very important to help me look at why I binged - and it can often be painful to explore these areas. I do pray for your daughter and for you as you support her - must knowing my mum was there - and not condemning me if I slipped up was really important to me.

[myiabennett]

Hang in there mom. I don’t want to send the message that meds are the answer because they are not. Body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and dissatisfaction in relationships are often underlying struggles of Bulimia and should be investigated and treated if present.

That being said, Vyvanse is a stimulant typically prescribed to treat ADHD. One of the side effects is loss of appetite for most of the day (it wears off after average 8hrs or so). The FDA has approved Vyvanse to treat binge eating disorder. Vyvanse could be an option while your daughter works on decreasing any anxiety and fearful thinking, regulating her emotions, creating a loose plan to experience regular happiness in life, and building her tolerance for distress and any curve balls that life throws at her happiness.

Vyvanse could reduce her compulsion to binge and give her more control over how much she eats. The downside? Sometimes patients become complacent on the medication...pretty much using it as a tool/way to make them “anorexic” during the day and just not eating. And when the meds wear off at night, if they are still awake, they might have a binge/purge episode. It’s important for the patient to eat during the day and practice intuitive consumption and mindful eating despite being on the meds.

Schedule with a psychiatrist and get more information. Weigh the risks and benefits. And with the current therapist...ask questions about what intervention methods he/she is using, ask for her treatment plan, have joint sessions with your daughter where her effort and work outside of sessions is talked about; drill down into specifics of what your daughter is trying, how long she tries it, how often she tries it, and how much it helps. Replace preoccupation with food...no recipes or following social media accounts that focus on food...replace it with something else that brings your daughter joy or comfort or self esteem.

And like another poster mentioned, patience and acknowledgement of even the smallest progress. No shaming or super focus on results in front of your daughter. Throw your focus on the process and observations any actions your daughter is taking to help her feel better and move her towards her goals. Hang in there!

[art62grammie]

I was ill with Anorexia for a lifetime it seems. It began at 14 until 56 years old. Now that I had total recovery, I have compassion for you and your daughter. I look back at all those years and see how my mother cried many tears and worried I was dying to this mental illness. She is the best mother ever. She is alive and well at 82. I am so thankful for her being there for me for all those years. I was never committed to any treatment by someone. I came so close to death 6 six years I did the road to recovery for my first time. I went into a mental facility desperate and was seen right away. I had no more time to waste. I was that close to death. Even though I was the only family member who had developed the mental illness, my mother listened to everything I shared about. She listened to me for hours. I love her so dearly for being there for me. If someone has never had an eating disorder, they have no idea what it is like. Only the ill person does. You are a great mom for being concerned for your child. Getting treatment for her is the first step. You can not recover on your own. My mother would listen to me speak while I was ill. She worried 24/7 if I would survive the illness. She told me I will listen for as long as you need to talk. I don't know how to help you recover. I think you need professional help. That advice was the best thing she gave me. That too is the reason I have recovered from Anorexia. Keep strong, mom. If my child was Anorexic I would be right there too. Love both of you. Listen to your daughter. You don't understand her thoughts. The crazy relationship she has with food. Keep mental treatment flowing. That is the answer I have for you. I will add to this. Even after 40 plus yrs. of Anorexia and recovered. I still can hear those voices tell me don't eat or drink this or that today. It is not very often I hear that evil voice. When I do, I talk back. I tell that past voice I am in full control of my life now. I choose what I will do. You don't exist anymore. After so many yrs. of that illness. It is quite a change for me. Learning to live without Anorexia takes time. It, however, is freedom and so wonderful. I am adjusting to the great change very well.

[art62grammie]

I should add to this previous post. I was never Bulimic. I never once made myself throw up during my Anorexic yrs. I do know this. Whether Anorexic or Bulimic the symptoms are very similar. They are both eating disorders. So let her doctors treat her. They know how.

[sliverofsilver]

Hi Mumache,

I don’t know if I’m the best person to answer this, but here I am.

I’m 16 too, and I’m not a bulimia sufferer, but I’m an anorexic. Eating disorders can take a long, long time to recover from. Years, sometimes. And I know that it’s hard to see your own daughter suffer for so long, but such is the nature of eating disorders.

Perhaps the problem is that she doesn’t actually want to get better? Often, eating disorder sufferers don’t want to get better because they believe recovering means getting fat, and obviously, recovery for your daughter means no purging, which is no doubt terrifying for her. If this is the case, show her what bulimia is in its true, evil form. Show her what she’s missing out on. Show her that recovering doesn’t mean getting fat. It means being able to do all the things she did before bulimia took over. Before anorexia, I was a passionate rhythmic gymnast, leaping and twirling every day. But now, I can only attend weekly, and even then, sometimes I can’t. Most of me doesn’t want to recover, but there’s a tiny part of me that really wants to get back to that.

If that’s not the case, and I wrote all that for no reason, then do not fear, I’ve still got more. Eating disorders, as I said, take ages to break free from. You’re going against what you want. Everyone’s pushing you to not purge, or to eat normally. Of course, if an eating disorder could be a quick fix, then that would just be glorious. Truly wonderful. But unfortunately, that isn’t the case. As painful as it is to watch, your daughter must struggle. If she doesn’t struggle, then I would doubt that she even had an eating disorder. It’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be hard for her, and you just have to be there for her. We can’t wave a magic wand and fix everything, but we can help her recover but by bit.

If she relapses, that’s normal. It’s not her fault and it’s not your fault. However, if there’s just a plateau in which it’s like she never got professional help in the first place, consider asking your daughter whether the help is actually being a help? If she says it’s not, consider changing the doctor or letting them know about it. If she says it is helping, then that’s great, but don’t relax just yet. Keep an eye on her. If the plateau continues, do something about it. Tell your daughter I care about her and that she CAN get better. Perhaps it would be nice to show her the recovery inspiration post I put up yesterday? Here’s the link:

healthunlocked.com/mental-h...

Feel free to read it through.

Best wishes for you and your daughter,

-sliverofsilver