Back Into Old Habits

I went a few months without bingeing/purging and gained over 20 pounds. I can't even say why this is happening again. I have a good relationship with my boyfriend, just registered for school and got an internship, became a manager at my job, terminated a toxic friendship, and yet here I am. Things have been awful at home, but I can't pin it on that. Maybe I'm afraid of messing up the things that are going well? Maybe this is my form of control? Probably both. It's frustrating when I know the logic behind it but just can't bring myself out of this cycle, even though I think I can do it alone.

[crazycrossstitcher]

Doing it alone is from experience a non-starter - tried that - cycled continuously. Suggest you seek some specialist help - a trip to the GP and ask for access to ED services (may take some time - it took me 6 months and we've still not got further than 1 visit to dietician - supposed to have counselling but nothing materialised as yet!). Also ABC have a good helpline - also a befriending service which I find extremely valuable and helpful - so do ring / email them. Please don't wait and always think you should be able to do it yourself - it is an illness and like a broken leg - needs treatment to recover.