Advice Please

[sj80]

Hi everyone, I have never posted on a forum before so I am very nervous. I have had a bad relationship with food since I can remember (I am 37 now). I am on an almost constant cycle of starving myself or when i do eat binge eat and then make myself sick. I really don't know how to stop doing this but don't want to go to my GP. Any advice would be great, Thank you x

[Smarsh]

Hey SJ

It's great you've recognised there's a problem, so that's a good step. Why don't you want to see your GP? Have you ever received help for your eating before? If it's been a very long term thing and your relationship with food has always been disorder then its unlikely that this is a habit you can kick on your own without help and support from someone professional who can challenge your disordered thinking, which will have become so engrained you won't even recognise it as disordered.

What's your goal? What would recovery look like? I totally believe you can reach that with support. Well done for reaching out on here.

God bless,

Smarsh

[sj80 in reply to Smarsh]

Hi Smarsh,

Thank you so much for your reply I really appreciate it. I have never really seen it as a problem as such before as I have always felt I was in control and there are periods where I do eat more or I don't make myself sick so I guess I haven't seen it as being a problem. I have always had anxieties around food and am always working out when I can burn food off. I exercise for at least 2 hours a day 6 days a week. Lately however I feel like I have lost control and it is getting worse and my daily routine seems to be exercise in the morning not eat during the day, eat in the evening make myself sick and do more exercise.

I am just scared of seeing my GP as I don't think I have a full blown ED and don't want to seek professional help but do want to try and kick this. I joined here to see how others cope. I feel I am constantly battling with myself and food/losing weight/exercise is all I seem to think about. My goal is just to eat normally without feeling guilty or worried. My eating habits do tend to be worse if I am stressed.

Thanks again, it helps just to talk about it

SJ

[Smarsh in reply to sj80]

I think you know that you have an ED, whether or not you would call it 'full blown' doesn't matter, your eating is disordered. Anyone who intentionally makes themselves throw up or skips meals to control their shape or weight has disordered eating, whether that's occasionally or regularly. Anyone with those behaviours needs help, and if its daily, as you say it is, then its just more urgent. I went to the GP last year, healthy weight, fairly regular diet, limited destructive behaviours, and I was referred for therapy. I thought I wasn't 'ill' enough but it has ended up being the most helpful round of therapy I've had. So go for it, you've got nothing to lose, and potentially your whole life to gain.

It's great that you've noticed that stress is a trigger. What other coping mechanisms do you have or could you have for stressful situations? In what situations is your eating less disordered? x

[sj80 in reply to Smarsh]

Hi Smarsh,

I am glad you sought help and it found it helpful and I hope you keep on that track. It must have taken a lot of courage to do that and I admire that. I know I should consider doing it too. I am currently having counselling for something else right now so I think I would find it too much having counselling for an ED too. I do a lot of training and get so annoyed at myself that sometimes I don't have the energy to do as well as I would like so I know I need to start eating properly but it is like it is an addiction. The only coping mechanism I have really is exercise which I guess doesn't help matters!

Once again I really appreciate you advice

x