Hi. I may not be the right sort of person for this. Too old.
Need to try something, see if anyone is there with ideas.
I'm a nearly 49 yo guy. I've struggled with depression & weight, binge eating most of my life now. Bullied all of my childhood a lot of adulthood. Hardly ever worked. Never had a relationship. Was doing better but I now have to leave my home of 16 years. Lots of problems with benefits. Leaving my job cos so many many problems. I'm about 25 stones. No one has ever wanted to be with me. I poss have b.p.d. I'm broken and starting to want to cut myself again. Haven't done it for 8? Years but the temptation is so massive. That release, the rush of adrenaline the satisfaction that you can hurt yourself rather than anyone else hurting you. I'm becoming a bit strange in how I feel. There is something really wrong with me. The loneliness the aloneness of life the meaninglessness of life. I'd kill myself if it wasn't for my parents and they are getting old and won't be around much longer. Then I will be totally alone on this planet. What do I do. I'd I kill myself it would send my mum insane, truly, but what about me. How do I stop this emptiness except through suicide.