Worried I'm developing an eating disorder

[beth4324]

Hello, my names Beth and I'm thirteen years old, my mum has told me she's worried I'm getting an eating disorder and now so am I. I weigh myself about five times a day...sometimes more and if people talk to me about food or I feel that I've eaten too much I feel like crying, or I actually cry. If I haven't exercised that days I get really frustrated and upset and I wont eat over a certain amount of calories. I really don't like the way my body looks and when people say "oh you look slim" or mention my weight I feel bad about myself. Sometimes I can't focus on homework because I'm thinking about calories or food i should eat tomorrow and in school I feel the need to add up how many calories Ive eaten twice or three times. I know that it's not a good thing but I can't stop worrying, id be grateful for any advice...this is the first time I've said all these things to anyone and it's the first time I've posted here and I'm nervous but I think doing this should help me get some advice and courage to talk about it, thanks in advance for any replies

[Hidden]

hi Beth

hope u are okay. Are u receiving any counselling? The sweda association offer support groups once a month. They may help u.

blessings

x

[beth4324 in reply to Hidden]

Hiya, yeah I'm alright thanks, i feel like I've gotten worse though... Especially because my best friend called me fat in school which really hurt my feelings. I'm not receiving counselling but my mum is taking me to see a doctor on Tuesday

[Hidden in reply to beth4324]

hi Beth

good luck with the doctors. Sometimes people say hurtful stuff because they actually feel very insecure themselves. I know it would have been upsetting hearing your best friend saying that. maybe u could explain to her how that comment has made u feel.

x

[beth4324 in reply to Hidden]

Hiya, thank you yeah if it keeps playing on my mind I will probably mention it to her. Thank you for the advice

[Hidden in reply to beth4324]

no worries. Have a lovely day x

[imstronger]

Hi Beth, have you been keeping well? I wrote some blog posts about my eating disorder and I hope it can help you in one way or another! Supporting you

imstrongerthantheurgetobingeeat.wordpress.com

[beth4324 in reply to imstronger]

Hello, i haven't been doing great...My obsession with exercise has gotten worse, as has my obsession with keeping my calories under 1200, I've also lost more weight but i just cant see that change on my body 😞 I'm getting my blood taken next Friday to take a look at my physical state and I'm being referred to a physiatrist. It's affecting my family and I hate it but it's so hard to stop even though i know its bad. Thanks for the link to the website, i will take a look at it 😊 and thank you for the support

[imstronger in reply to beth4324]

Hello Beth, do remember that you are already actively seeking help and this is the first step to recovery! This sounds like an eating disorder, and also remember that an eating disorder is a legitimate mental illness, so even though you might not see obvious changes in your body, you can definitely feel the negative mental effects of it. It is hard to believe it now, but it will get better in time. I'm glad you will see a psychiatrist soon, hope it goes okay. Stay alright Xx

[beth4324 in reply to imstronger]

Hiya, the physiatrist contacted my mum yesterday and I'm going to see them Wednesday, I'm also getting my blood test results back then as well. I've been on Easter break for two weeks and haven't been able to do as much exercise as usual, i feel awful. Also, i read through your blog and it helped me realise I'm not alone, I hope you're alright now, thank you for letting me know about it.

[imstronger in reply to beth4324]

Thank you for taking the time to read it you really are not alone.

What I found really hard to grasp when I had anorexia was we must not "punish" ourselves through exercise!

Going to the gym, or running, or the exercises you are doing should be fun. You should feel happy and relaxed before and after exercising. You should not feel anxious about it. Try not to think about how many calories you could burn by exercising. You should be doing exercise out of love for your body, not pure hatred.

Look forward with hope, not backward with regrets. Stay alright beth4324

[beth4324 in reply to imstronger]

I agree, my body seems to feel really weak when i exercise so it's hard to enjoy it, especially because I have a chest infection right now. At the moment I'm fighting with trying to eat... I had soup for dinner but my stomach still hurts with hunger, I've eaten 517 calories today and there's a salad in the fridge...I'm just trying to convince myself it's ok to eat it. I hope you've had a good day