I hate the way people look at me. People that don’t know I had cancer make comments about my hair and how I look. “Omg why did you cut your hair”??
You had such pretty hair
WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!
Makes me hate what I see in the mirror
This happens every day I feel like staying in at least till I look normal again
I already feel like I don’t know who that person is in the mirror I don’t recognize myself
Jasel, my dear, I wish you the emotional strength to get through this. I too had a very hard time with losing my hair (it was long and thick and my "signature") and did not want to go out much or see anyone, etc. because of the way I felt. But soon I learned to tie scarves in fanciful ways, to wear stylish hats and to don a wig every now and then when going to a more formal occasion. I never liked it, I never got used to it, but I learned to keep it in perspective (losing my hair was not the most important thing in my life this past year). I'm nine months out from my last chemo and I've finally got enough hair to go out without people thinking I'm sick.
People can be cruel and those who don't know I have cancer will sometimes comment or question why I had my hair cut so short...I tell them that my Oncologist cut my hair...that usually shuts them up.
You are beautiful and strong and there are so many more bright days ahead...don't waste another minute on what other people think.
I did that today, someone said to me “oh you cut your hair” I told him
NO I DIDN’T CUT MY HAIR !!
I HAD CHEMO!!!
I feel so out of place I don’t feel normal I don’t feel ok. Every one around me is telling me that I’m ok that I beat it that it’s over. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling now.
Jasel, You aren't supposed to be feeling anything in particular - what you are feeling is OK. Thinking that you are supposed to simply go back to your life as it was prior to your cancer diagnosis will only cause you stress. Life is different now and how you deal with those differences will help determine how quickly you move toward your bright and beautiful future.
You've been through a lot already and none of us knows how to navigate through this. There are many challenges - physical, emotional, etc. - and having a good support team can help you find your way.
Do you have family to support you? Friends? If there is no one in your inner circle you feel you can confide in, perhaps there are support services through your hospital or oncologist. While we can share our thoughts and experiences and provide you with some support, we have only our own experiences to share. A counselor/social worker will have tools and resources we do not. If your feelings linger - please reach out.
In the meantime, just be with your feelings. Sadness, frustration, fear and uncertainty are normal in the months following treatment, but so is hope and a renewed sense of energy (the uncertainty never really leaves). It is one of the strange experiences of cancer, it weakens you, it breaks you and it makes you strong and determined all at once.
Focus on what you want for yourself in the next year or so (healing, health, energy, hair!!!) and envision happier days. They are coming.
I do have family that has supported me through the whole thing
I just don’t want to bother them with this
They’ve been through a lot too
Thank you so much for replying
Snappy answers to nosy questions can be a lot of fun. Just say "I paid my oncologist BIG BUCKS for this hairstyle". The look on their faces should be priceless. When people ask me how I am I say "Not dead yet--despite the best efforts of a dozen oncologists". When people tell me I've lost weight I say "Cancer does that to people." When people give me crap for parking in a disabled spot because I "don't look disabled" it rates special scorn. I had a 500 pound woman on a scooter tell me I didn't look disabled and I pointed out that "Cancer and 5 back surgeries isn't as obvious as being 375 pounds overweight". If I'd slapped the witch I couldn't have gotten the same shocked look. LOL Screw them--it's not your job to take crap when you're fighting for your life. I save my special scorn for my oncologists. One said to me "Well, apparently you think you're a little smarter than me" in a smarmy tone. I snapped back with "No, I'm a LOT smarter than you are--an ashtray is a LITTLE smarter." Don't take any crap. Of course I was supposed to die in December of 2016 according to that oncologist, so I have found my cancer gives me certain liberties with my attitude. ROFLMAO
I like your style! 😂 with best wishes, Mel xx
We are all obsessed with hair! I had several wigs. now I look at the women who really buzz cut their hair and I have to laugh. For many people it is a choice.
Hi Jasel23,
I so know how you're feeling. I had and still have a hard time about losing my hair. I finished my last chemo treatment on 2/ 14/2018. I do have a head full of short hair and at times feel I look like a man! I'm still battling the side effects and at times, try to find the old me before chemo. It's just not possible but with the help of my Psychologist, I'm hopeful I will be able to find my new self and how to deal everything.
You will get through it, it may not be today or next week but you will! I wish you emotional strength and all the best.
Hello Jasel - you replied to my post " why are people so Cruel" Thank you. Reading yours and other replies on here, I realize we all suffer with out self esteem, for most of us we have spent years and thousands of pounds preening our locks to make us feel good and then one morning you wake up and its all falling out, I had mixed emotions, relief that the chemo was working cos I felt so much better than before, and scared that so much was changing so fast! The comment made about my wig in the supermarket, cut me to the core and I found myself in floods of tears, not like me at all really. But I soon came to realize that she was not worth wasting my emotional energy on and you must also rise above thoughtless comments from ignorant people. No one could ever say you are not extremely beautiful with or without hair. I have now shaved my head and cant bring myself to look in the mirror to often, why have I never noticed that one of my ears is half an inch longer than the other! This explains why the optician has such problems getting my glasses to sit straight. Ha ha ha
I have read from other wonderful ladies on here that once treatment ends it can be a pretty depressing place to be, lots of uncertainties, and lonely at times. But you have come through such a difficult journey be kind to yourself and your family who probably still want to help if you let them in.
Take care and have an amazing remission! I can't wait to get there.
Lyn xxx
Tell them I am a cancer survivor in a deliberate and calm voice. It’s just hair and that is not what defines who I am. Or it’s really none of your business works too. It was tough to see myself from straight shoulder length blonde hair to buzz cut to bald. Hair came in black, silver and a bit curly. I have about 2 inches of growth and am coloring it this week, for me. Until then I wear my new do with honor as I am currently doing well. People are rude and thoughtless sometimes without meaning to be that way. I’m sure your new look is different than what you want but, be proud. You are strong and beautiful no matter if you have hair, no hair or peach fuzz! You are a cancer warrior! It gets easier. Hugs to you!
I lost my hair completely. Thankfully I have a nicely shaped head. But I always kept it covered. If you still have hair and it's just short, consider coloring it a funky color. That's what I did when I started growing again and was about 1/4" long. My hair was HOT PINK. When I got comments I told people it was "survivor pink" and then it opened a door for me to share my story and God's provision in my life during treatment and recovery. It was awesome having pink hair. I have ovarian cancer but didn't want teal hair! Best thing to do is have fun with your new "look"!!! Or get a funky wig.
My ovarian cancer story thus far
Zejula parp inhibitor 
Avastin and cold symptoms 
South Beach Diet and 7 Minute workout
Possible Recurrence - Beyond scared
