I live in Clackamas County, Oregon. A week ago today our home was in Level 2 evacuation because of encroaching fires. Luckily we had been getting ready to take our little camper on a road trip so we were better prepared than many. Instead of the road trip we spent two days camping in front of one daughter's home, then four more in Washington where another daughter lives. The plus was lots of lovely time with grand kids and a new appreciation for our COVID-safe little camper.
We were among the lucky ones. Our home was never really in danger and though the forest fires in our county are still burning (expected to continue till mid-October) they are getting under control. Many others in Oregon have lost everything, including loved ones. The air here is still, officially, "hazardous". It burns the eyes and throat and turns the sky a foggy orange. Until the rains come...maybe Thursday...we are mostly living in one room with an air purifier. For which we are also thankful.
For about thirty minutes before we evacuated last week we were, for the first time in our lives, faced with the impossible question...what do we bring? If we were to lose everything else, what would we want to keep? The surprising answer to me was that, simultaneously, nothing was important, and everything was precious. I just wanted to get out safely. But since there was still time, we grabbed important papers, a few photo albums, a baby quilt, my mom's jewelry box. As I looked at many of the things I love however, I realized that they are probably special only to me, and only because of the memories and stories they evoke. When I am gone they will just be a morning glory clock, a plate from Spain, a tea bowl from Japan...the history will go with me. It seemed impossibly sad in that adrenaline-fueled moment, but somehow that realization is also turning into something freeing. I'm still working on figuring it all out.
I share this here just because you are all so full of heart and good will and I needed to share with friends who aren't in the thick of it.
If adrenaline cures cancer, my next scan is going to show I'm a walking miracle!
And...for at least a few days last week...I actually forgot I had cancer.
Be well, breathe deeply, thanks for being there dear ones.
Patty
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MacroMom
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What wonderful, evocative, thought-provoking post....thank you (heart).
I'm so glad that you and your immediate family are safe, but of course my heart breaks for the people and animals that are so tragically affected. This is all unimaginable...yet it's real.
Such interesting thoughts you share re: your belongings...
My son's in Portland and has been affected by the air quality there...He sent a screen shot the other day which showed a measure of "500", which is apparently the top of the scale. I believe that he (and his gf) don't need to worry about actual fires, fortunately, and their indoor air purifier arrived today...
Next up, hurricane season.
Crazy, scary world...
Again, so glad you're safe and I envy you your camper...
I love your take on important issues. You have made me think about what I would want to save and you are spot on about the only attachment to much of what we own is our memories. Perhaps we should make a photo file of these items for our benefit and then donate them somewhere!
I am in the Bay Area and have family I’m Bend Oregon. It is such a scary time. I am so glad you are safe.!
And I had similar poignant thoughts about “things” recently. I don’t know what the answer is. Writing about them perhaps?
I visited Pompeii last summer. I found those 2000 year old household relics from the day before it was destroyed so moving. Humans are all the same in many ways. Not just across race and nationality but time as well . The detritus we scatter does have meaning—maybe not in ways we can imagine right now.
I love your reference to Pompeii. I have a bit of ancient Anasazi pottery from Colorado and have had similar thoughts...I don't know anything about the hands that made or used it, but it is a thing of beauty that connects us to ages and peoples past. And reminds me of those things that remain constant....we carry water, we cook and eat, we make our homes our own.
And thanks for the reminder that I am indeed still here to claim and share the stories!
I am so sorry you found yourself in these circumstances. It’s a very thought provoking post. But I get it.
We have always moved internationally with my husband’s job so we often find we are living in our next home for weeks or sometimes months without our personal effects. In a way it is very liberating and makes for an easier life and I decide to completely de clutter. But when our consignment arrives and we are reunited with our belongings (which are all sentimental and show the story of our lives) I feel like a comfort blanket has been wrapped around me and I now feel I belong where I am. Nothing gets chucked until the next packing day some four years or so later!
Having said that, half of our things have been in storage for two years now but we should be reunited with them in a month or so when we move again! It will feel like Christmas! You are right that it is an impossible choice as to what to pack but as long as you are safe nothing else really matters. Over the years I have learnt not to be upset when things get damaged or broken in our moves. That great grandmother’s tea-set can’t be replaced but we got to enjoy it for a time, is my take on it. I have tried to pass on to my daughters the stories behind our belongings but at the end of the day they will make their own stories and some of my treasures will become junk. I can see this at 55 so maybe this time round I really will only hold on to some precious things and let the others go. 🤔
I identify with this, having moved back and forth to Japan a few times, shedding some things, shipping many others. I hope you enjoy that Christmas feeling next month! I have become a lot more relaxed about things breaking too....takes the decision out of my hands.
I was surprised by my 30-year old son's reaction last week. After my husband and I had left the house and it was still Level 2 evacuation, my son wanted to come over to save more things. I insisted that he stay away and he did, but I want to talk more with him about what he was feeling around that. I don't think there were specific things he wanted so much as he dreads more loss of any kind. I wish I could spare him that.
Thanks for sharing your experiences!
Hi Patty,
What a frightening time this must have been for you and your family. I’m glad you made it out safely and that you are coping with the devastation you have seen all around you. You’re right, when all is said and done our lives are the most important, precious thing. Possessions won’t fight fires or save people’s lives, but being prepared and following evacuation orders will.
Such scary times for those in fire-burning regions. Glad you are safe.
You got me thinking as we closed our NYC office with Covid and I have been redesigning the house here to work more efficiently. I literally know where each piece of art, vase, etc came from. Last week a friend had a house auction and literally sold 90% of her things to downsize. Could not picture doing that. We had a garage sale once and I had to leave...too stressful.
That said, I am very careful about purchases. No overbuying here!
I envy your careful curating....though if you really are and avid book lover, how do you ever part with a book?? I agree about garage sales too, I'd rather just donate it all than have people going through it and haggling for a bargain.
Thank you for sharing the guts of your crisis and how you forged through. Well done! Although I don't know how you, your husband and your camper look like, I have a vivid picture that is drawn by your words. I understand your happiness and freedom you feel with your camper to enable you. Further, it is so good that you could spend time with your children and grandchildren without them having to be discommoded in any way. Years ago, my husband and I used our little camper van I the same way; to spend time with the grandchildren in a completely free and easy environment, devoid any of those belongings that you talk about.
It becomes easy to get away from it all leaving those material trappings behind, except for the pictures and perhaps the birth certificates. I am so glad for you and your family. We are so lucky to be where we are. I am referring to the wisdom we have gained, appreciation for life and the love that we are privileged to be able to spread around, freely.
I’m so glad to hear that you and your family are safe. I have thought of you and several other sisters from the west coast during these tragic fires. It is devastating for me (sitting safely in the east coast) to see the destruction of these raging fires and hear so many heart wrenching stories. I cannot imagine what it is like for all of you living through it.
About your thoughts – I agree with the others - you are spot on with how you describe the things we hold onto – that they are probably only special to us because of the memories that are attached to them.
For me, one of the very few positives of being diagnosed with MBC is my growing detachment from and disdain of things. In my earlier years I filled my house with stuff in my effort to create a comfortable and artistic home that reflected who we were as a family. I guess it served its purpose then. Now, I feel burdened by it.
Just recently I went through photos of my early childhood. I had already weeded down my collection, but in this recent pass, I came to the realization (this may sound heartless) that my kids may find these pictures interesting (seeing their mother when she was younger), but they don’t connect with the memories that are attached to these pictures. So, I kept a few, but got rid of the rest. Like you described, it felt freeing.
I’m really glad you shared your post. I will continue to pray for you and everyone on the west coast that these fires get under control.
Oh Barbara, you win the downsizing Oscar in my book if you managed to weed through photos! I attempted it last year. I have at least six large totes filled with disorganized photos from the past 65+ years. I actually had a box going of rejects...until my son, the professional photographer, came by. "You can't get rid of this one Mom....look at the composition!" "What's wrong with this one??"....etc. etc. So I hoisted the white flag and decided that at some point he can do whatever he wants with all of them. I think he did me a favor actually!
Thank you for the prayers too. I think the worst is over here but there are still so many fires burning.
What lovely thread you have started. My heart is broken for all of the lovely forest loss.
This disease does force us to confront what is important in our lives and it is certainly not "stuff". Having had to clean out the homes of my mother, grandmother, and sister over the last ten years, I have become a tad bit too sensitive to this so much so that my husband had to stop me from taking weekly trips to the donation center with our stuff
Thank you for the lovely post...what kind of camper did you get? We are looking at trailers for our new covid era vacation strategy.
We got a little used A-Liner pop-up trailer 3 years ago....the month before I was diagnosed. We haven't used it as much as we'd hoped, but boy were we grateful for it last week. It's light enough to pull with our 2004 van, pops up into a triangle in a few minutes, and has a comfy queen bed, 2-burner stove, eating table, mini-fridge, hot running water, heater and AC, even a porta-potty so I don't have to go out to pee in the middle of the night. It works well if we camp in one place for a few days; not so well for long road trips because of the hassle of taking it down every morning and putting it back up.
With COVID lingering I think a little camper is a great travel strategy.
Thanks for the post and glad are alright. I could relate to some of what you are writing. We had a house fire several years ago. What we miss the most is the photos. Having a camper is really a bonus. Glad your house was ok. Hoping the air quality improves soon. Take care,
I am so glad you and your family are safe ... just devastating seeing the fires on the news...and must be so frightening for all those living there ...I hope these are now under control . Take care ! x
I am so happy you had a camper to escape the fires, and that you were able to spend great times at your children's places . I would say you were/are truly blessed. Tangible things seem to be important until one is faced with contemplating you, or your loved one's mortality . The tangible things you/we thought were important don't matter anymore, your loved one's are all you truly care about . GOD bless you, and all of the people who are facing the fires in the mid-west.
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
My small treasures are important to me because they are a continual reminder of the people who are/were associated with them.. but my heart can see/feel their part in my life even when invisible to the eye. I pack them up or give them away and place the memory in my heart.. I collect memories since childhood...
Your words brought tears to my eyes. I am glad you are safe from the fires. There has been so much devastation in the world this year it seems. I’m afraid wildfires will become the norm with global warming 😞. Enjoy seeing your daughters and keep Covid free in your camper.
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We haven't used it as much as we'd hoped, but boy were we grateful for it last week. It's light enough to pull with our 2004 van, pops up into a triangle in a few minutes, and has a comfy queen bed, 2-burner stove, eating table, mini-fridge, hot running water, heater and AC, even a porta-potty so I don't have to go out to pee in the middle of the night. It works well if we camp in one place for a few days; not so well for long road trips because of the hassle of taking it down every morning and putting it back up. 
Newbie Here with CA 27.29 Question
To all you newly diagnosed women! 
