Bit of humor

[kearnan]

When you go to a wedding or an event where you meet new people and they ask So, what do you do? For years I have worked in NY as a legal paralegal for super large international firms to very small criminal defense firms. So I would always answer Oh, I work as a legal assistant. Now, I cannot say that. So this a humorous look on how to reply. (Credit to the lady who draw this. She was MBC but passed away.) She took her creativeness and wrote humorous funny articles and such.

[strong2018]

Thank you for sharing. This is exactly how I feel. I owned 2 businesses and sold them a year ago during the same time I was diagnosed with MBC. Everyone thinks I am no longer working because I am retired..... ugh.

[kearnan in reply to strong2018]

Between dealing with SSDI, then Medicaid and then Medicare and now the pooled trust spend down, I was on the phone constantly, filling up paperwork, scanning them onto my computer into files. It felt like a full-time job with no pay. Dealing with these agencies are awful. You can never reach medicaid. They have a phone number but it always says the voicemail box is full so you have to go all the way there to get one question answered. The last year has been a horror and I knew that Medicare was coming up for me in August and I was so stressed. I am now just about at the end of the road and seeing a light. Medicaid now has all my trust documents so waiting to be approved so I have dual coverage of both Medicare and Medicaid and Medicaid will now pay my Medicare premiums which are deducted from my SSDI. $135.50 for Plan B and $37.90 for Plan D (rx) and Medicaid will pay all the deductibles and co-payments that Medicare does not and I will get my free car service back. I had to join a pooled trust spend down but they have an attorney there one day a week and she helped me do all the documents. She also did my Last will and Testament (I have nothing really nor any family so a friend in FL said she will take care of things once I pass, she is also my health care proxy.) Finally, all the documents are in Medicaid's hands and I am told I should know within the next two weeks and then I do not have to worry anymore about having to pay medical bills, getting my free car service, having dental and vision and if I get sick, they pay for aides and hospice and all that that Medicare does not cover. So then finally I can relax bc I will have it all done, but it was very stressful to get to this point.

[BeckyHobson in reply to kearnan]

I’m sorry I spoke up a tad wary in my first post. I am so sorry that you are having such a horrible time with the whole medical system. I do know there is help out there. Have you talked to the social worker at You oncologist clinic. I received gift cards to the grocery store one year from a group that donates to my clinic.

[kearnan in reply to BeckyHobson]

My social worker at the cancer center has been a blessing. She was the one when I went there for my second time arranged for me to have private car service drive me to and from ANY doctor appts., not just the cancer center. She also arranged for meet to meet with the attorney who goes there one day a week (every day the attorney goes to a different cancer center) and got me a month's rent before I was getting SSDI and was running out of my savings. She was the one who when I became petrified at the thought of Medicare (not knowing it was so different from Medicaid) about the pooled trust spend down. I am not that crazy about my onco anymore but for now I stay there because of all the resources the cancer center has. I see women came into that room for free wigs and there is a lady that comes with those special bras for ladies that have mastectomies. Compared to the first place I went, this place is like a luxury five star hotel. That is nice that they give you gift cards to the grocery store.

[kearnan]

Why would you decline all social gatherings if you do not tell people of your diagnosis? You could just say I used to work, now I am semi-retired. I am considering joining a meet up group in NY. Its for single people who like to travel but would prefer a small group. They have groups for everything, trying new restaurants in NY, going on weekend foliage trips, etc. and it is NOT a cancer group. I am looking for a weekend get away. I would NOT tell none of these people that I have cancer. But I look at what the weekend excursions involve, bc if its alot of walking, I know I would need to stop for a while so I pass on that. I want to interact. I am more against joining groups that only cater to people with breast cancer. I want to be able to socialize with those who do not have it and thus I have no need to tell them. There are many people that retire early or do not need to work. I used to define myself like that. But on a serious level, I would not go around telling people I meet or if I join this group for get away weekends that I have cancer. They have a weekend excursion for fall foliage which I would like and its reasonable at $169. I wish I had more money bc I love traveling to exotic places, but I can't afford to. Now, I have the time, but not the money.

[mariootsi in reply to kearnan]

Me too! I have the time but no money!

[kearnan in reply to mariootsi]

It's upsetting to a small extent. I would love to be able to travel and I have no problems traveling alone but hard to do without money. Waiting until I feel better and adjust to Verzenio and then going to try and find a volunteer opportunity for like two days a week. I had big plans for all the places I wanted to go before being diagnosed. It's like that quote "Want to make God laugh, tell him what your plans are." LOL

[mariootsi in reply to kearnan]

Great idea to volunteer and you are right about God laughing at our plan!

[illini9]

That's a great cartoon. Since I stopped working that's been a tough one to answer. One day someone asked me and I said "enjoy life" as I think that's I'm trying to do now every day. They looked at me in surprise but then smiled.

[Hidden in reply to illini9]

Your response made me smile, and reminded me of what I say to friends, not strangers (well, not often to strangers... ): I'm focusing on the three "F's"...Family, Friends, and doing whatever the "F#@!" I want to!

[illini9 in reply to Hidden]

I'm going to borrow that as we have what we call our "F#%@ IT" mentality. Sometimes we 'll talk about doing something and just say that and off we go to do it.

[Rhwright12]

Haha! Yep! Some days it’s like that...I ended up going to the Cleveland Clinic for a second opinion because yes the brain is always in MBC mode and needing to know u are doing the right thing...but I’ll turn it off next week in Disney! ❤️

[kearnan in reply to Rhwright12]

Does your present onco get upset if you tell her you are going for a second opinion? Does she release all your medical records to you? I am not too happy with my present onco for several reasons, but right now is not the time for me to switch.

[Rhwright12 in reply to kearnan]

Here in Ohio are second opinion doctor doesn’t consult with primary...they call and get your records from your center. Receptionists are not allowed to legally tell your doctor. And most private insurances allow u the consult at no charge. Can’t remember how many or how often but it’s free to get a second opinion at a better clinic. I go to just joe average neighborhood center but my second was at Cleveland Clinic. One of the best in the US...but their advice was to stay on Herceptin/Perjeta till progression. But come back in the future when things change. Hopefully that will be a few years! 😀

[Godbeforme]

that deserves a BWAH HA HA <grin> thanks for the laugh! <3 xo God bless you and heal us all in Jesus name, amen!

[Hidden]

I love this! Just texted to my bestie, with whom I was consulting last night (sent her all of my history, etc, to talk through a treatment decision...). When she said something complimentary about me laying things out, thinking them through, I said "You know how you spend 40-60 hours a week working to make the world a better place (she's in a non-profit supporting reproductive rights around the globe...)? Well I do this... ".

Also, my main oncologist had told me, after I was diagnosed metastatic, to go on disability. She knew I was very career-oriented, etc. She said "THIS needs to be your job now!".

So sad that the creator has passed, though. But it's true. Staying alive is job one. A noble profession! Thanks again for sharing...!

[kearnan in reply to Hidden]

She had lived for almost 12 years with MBC. Unfortunately, I cannot remember her name. She got gotten it earlier in her 30s, I believe.

[kearnan in reply to Hidden]

I know many stage iv women from others boards that did not want to stop working and have not even after five years of being stage iv. I stopped bc it spread to my lungs and its hard for me to breath in humidity and unless you take the NY train station, they are killers. The closest train to me is way above ground and 95 steps in total. I would pass out by stair six.

[BeckyHobson]

😂😂😂😂. Every single time. I try to start with oh, I’m a retired insurance agent but they are never satisfied with just that lol

[BeckyHobson]

What about other group activities-painting classes, yoga, church. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my Team Becky.