After a long overwhelming and stressful. 2 months I finally decided to have RT for my left sided stage 0 high grade DCIS that had very clean surgical margins. I've read and analyzed countless medical journals and had 3 RT consults to come to this decision. Going to a hospital other than where I had surgery because they are not offering me a cookie cutter approach to RT. This doc is not warm and cuddly but I respect him and his impeccable credentialls. He says he will tailor treatment to my anatomy and use the most heart and lung sparing method for me.
CT simulation is this afternoon. I've been up most of the night crying and second guessing my decision. It still defies logic to me to take what is now "healthy and cancer free" breast tissue and set my self up for the associated risks of RT that include other cancers and heart and lung disease. Can't believe I'm about to consent to put radiation into my body to prevent something that may never happen again.
I feel like I've stepped into a never ending sink hole from which there is no escape. I think i never really came to terms with having breast cancer. Been so busy researching that I detached from the emotional aspect. I've been a mess since I got the call scheduling today's appointment. Trying to remain strong but this is much harder than I expected. I hope I made the right decision. It will take a lifetime to find out.