I WON'T DO IT

[TEAH35]

I'm sorry .... I did not mean that to sound as it came out. I have no intentions of doing anything foolish and/or drastic. (Altho I cannot say that the thought is never there). But I have a daughter ... and I just simply could not do that to her.

[Hidden]

So glad to hear that!! I have to wonder, though...are you suicidal now and are just trying to talk yourself out of it?? If so, please talk to someone ASAP.

[TEAH35 in reply to Hidden]

No I don't think I am, like I said, my daughter. How could I leave her thinking Mum didn't love me enough to stick around. But if I didn't have her .....

[Hidden in reply to TEAH35]

Ok...I just read your other post. I have context now (I didn't know where this "I won't do it" was coming from).

First of all, I'm glad you got a great mother's day gift, even if it didn't make you happy (I know exactly what you mean. Having had depression for the better part of my life so far and you tend to know where others are coming from when they say they just can't be happy).

Tell me, are you getting the help you need for your bipolar? Needing help for that is so important.

I have had depression for so long that unfortunately I have gotten comfortable with it. I don't really know a life without it. Sad, but true.

BTW, I'm sorry you didn't think of writing stuff down in time to see the GP. I do that too, more often than I would like -- I get home and say "oh, darn it! I meant to do that!" Maybe you could write yourself a reminder?

[Jphickory in reply to Hidden]

Jess, what a sweet and thoughtful reply. Thanks for sharing with us your struggles. I went through a depression several years ago. I now understand how painful it is and have great empathy for anyone struggling with it.

[Hidden in reply to Jphickory]

Thank you Yep, definitely pain. It's a very deep sadness that lingers and doesn't just go away like that. I remember that my dad once tried to empathize with me by saying that he gets sad every once in a while and that everyone else does too. While nice of him to try and identify, he just didn't get it.