I UNDERSTAND

[Phogan]

I recently had reason to include the following, via personal message, to somebody who is very special to me. I hope you don't mind, but I have decided to share it with the group as well.

When I was an inpatient at the Buderim Private Hospital, most of us inpatients were there for virtually the same reasons .... depression, (there were many, many inpatients there who were suffering quite severely from PTSD. And the stories that they had to tell were simply heartbreaking), various sorts of addictions, and basically various types of psychiatry help. And of course, there was little old me, who was just trying to get off Sifrol.

For those of us that had been inpatients for rather lengthy periods, (yours truly included .... 5 weeks all up), having to explain our moods, our reasons for being there, our fears, and our thoughts etc were sometimes somewhat hard to put into words. And then occasionally, some of the new people found it difficult to be able to find the correct words to explain themselves adequately enough to ensure that they were understood correctly. And because of this fear, (of being extremely misunderstood), they would find themselves shrinking into silence and therefore, would unfortunately feel that they could not participate in the current conversation, resulting in them feeling somewhat left out and ostracised. And that could be quite an agonizing feeling for a new person to have to experience when they are trying extremely hard to fit in.

And it would then become somewhat of a burden .... (for lack of a better word). So I instigated an easy way of getting our point across and trying to put somebody new at ease, when one tried to explain their situation and how they were feeling. I came up with an ideal and somewhat simple explanation that would immediately have that effect. And it was actually just two words basically, but they carried so much weight .... and those 2 words were simply .....

'I UNDERSTAND'

And we did. I even made up a wee sonnet to capitulate the reasoning and the intention behind it. I will try to remember, I think it went something like this.

It was titled (obviously)

'WE UNDERSTAND'

-----------------------------------

🔹When you're feeling sad and lonely, it's ok, coz ...... 'WE UNDERSTAND'

🔹When you are finding it difficult to explain yourself, it's ok, coz ......

'WE UNDERSTAND'

🔹If you really don't feel like talking, and just want to sit, listen and be quite, it's ok, coz .......

'WE UNDERSTAND'

🔹If you are feeling irritable, cranky, or feel like having a good old cry, it's ok, coz .....

'WE UNDERSTAND'

🔹If you are feeling afraid, worried or frustrated, it's ok, coz ......

'WE UNDERSTAND'

🔹If you feel like laughing hysterically for no good reason, it's ok, coz ........

'WE UNDERSTAND'

And we did. You get the drift. So when you say to me that you are tired and cannot finish your message, I say to you, it's ok, coz .....

'I UNDERSTAND' and I do.

The hospital actually asked me to type it up and print it out, as they intended to submit it to the board at the next board meeting for approval to have it made into a brochure, to be included/added, to the 'welcome packs', that were in the rooms for when someone new arrived. I never did hear back from them. I have to wonder what the outcome was. I would be so proud if it was actually accepted. I hope that it was.

I sort of feel that that simple little sonnet would not go astray on our RLS website. As we are all there for the one, (and basically for the same reasons), and we all have the same concerns. And

'WE ALL UNDERSTAND'.

[Hidden]

Brilliant,Phogan. Worth saving. I bookmarked it. And much better than trying to tell others how to 'fix their problem'. We don't usually KNOW how someone else should feel but we can understand. Great 'thinking outside the box' solution. Your new job will be lucky to have you. Take care. Burma

[LotteM]

Very well done, paddy.

[Barbara-Halverson74]

That's a great suggestion. I'm sure it is being used. I also have suggested a method of helping those who have problems talking about their feelings. I wrote down my feelings, good and bad & explained why I felt that way at the time. I have no problem talking about problems but can understand some people do. It might work well to bring the written file to the sessions with a psychologist. I have suggested to my psychologist that writing about good and bad feelings on separate pages may show some improvement in the future when more positive thoughts show up than negative ones. He agreed that it is an effective way of dealing with depression. Since I can't take medications for my depression, I look for ways to deal without drugs.

[Hidden in reply to Barbara-Halverson74]

Agree! It was suggested by my mental health team to write down (right before bed) at least 3 positive things from the day. The ability to see the positives from the negatives becomes lost when you’re depressed, so this helps!