I'm having a really bad time of it tonight. Electric beetles crawling through my entire body. Legs and arms like a tightening spring that suddenly releases with a mighty jerk. A n n n n n tense twitching in my arms and legs, fingers and toes. My back taking me to screaming point because of the beast that is chewing and crushing my spine. Lest I scream loud enough to wake the neighbourhood I get out of bed and move around, put lights on, make the brain think deeply of anything but the craziness that is happening to me. Coffee, strong and plentiful to get the adrenalin going. Everything the doctor tells me not to do, because he has no idea and blames the symptoms on sleep deprivation, He, like all of them can't accept the symptoms are what cause the sleep deprivation.
Wishing, really wishing I could get hold of something to make the pain and jerking go away, or at least make me not care. All can do is keep concentrating on something, anything for a hour or two, maybe three or four and the torment should pass. If I get lucky perhaps a couple of hours sleep, enough to get me through the day and prepare me for another living nightmare. If I can get through 4 or 5 days of this it should pass and I'll have a few days respite. Knowing always that the cycle continues as is has for the last 11 years.
It was suspected that I might have bowel cancer. The doctor thought I was very brave because I took the news so calmly. I was actually disappointed to get the all clear. I'm sure some of you fellow sufferers will understand that.