Nearing the end

[Northstar1]

Hello allMy poor husband is nearing the end unable to have food or fluids the hospice won't allow it due to the choke risk

Has IV fluids but not for long he's in a hospice. Not a good experience but that's another story.

The plan is for him to come home. He is not responding but will do every now and again.

Dr says he is deteriorating slowly. Without food or fluids she says he won't last two weeks.

He lies here seemingly awake eyes open for significant periods then he will sleep.

Last Wednesday in hospital he had pureed soup and smiled at me.

He has episodes like this after illness and bounces back though not all the way.

I keep thinking the Drs don't really know him how he presents and he will come around a bit, once he's home and we can try to give him bits orally.

I know he's so ill and the end is close it's so hard to predict.

Thankyou

[AliBee1]

My love and thoughts are with you both and your family as you move through these last few days. I am sure that he is loving having you with him even if it is so difficult for you. AliBee xx

[easterncedar]

Hello Northstar. I am very sorry for what you and your husband are going through. You sound so like me. You have all my sympathy as you travel this very hard road.

I was very glad to bring my sweetheart home after a respite stay that sent him spiraling down. (Overreaction to sleep meds we were trying to get right.) I also knew the (excellent, caring staff) didn’t know and were underestimating my sweetheart. There were some good, brief periods of rallies in the weeks that followed, and he even ate pretty normally again for a while. But one day he decided to refuse food and water. He died 10 days later.

For what it’s worth:

I am glad I brought him home. I do wish you strength with that.

I wish I had played more music for him. I wish I had worried less about his medications.

Don’t feel you need to push food. Toward the end the body doesn’t process it well and doesn’t want it. It’s hard because feeding is from infancy how we show love.

Love matters.

Do please try to care for yourself - a little at least. Please stay in touch

Sarah