Having a tough day: Hi, Well my husband who... - PSP Association

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Having a tough day

Patmimi profile image


Well my husband who has CBD fell last week and had to go to ER by ambulance. They thought he broke his arm and put it in a splint. Very swollen and black and blue! Not a lot of pain thank goodness!

We went to specialist today and it’s not broken. Praising God for answered prayer!

I took him to lunch at a restaurant he likes and it was fine until he had to go to the restroom. I just have to go in with him and hate when they aren’t single bathrooms. It wasn’t crowded in restaurant and luckily no one came in.

My husband has a lot of issues with balance and vision and doesn’t realize he’s not close enough to the toilet and will pee straight down on his pants. I begged him to step forward but he was so stubborn. Later he said he thought it would make things worse. I want to think he can’t help it (stubbornness) but sometimes it feels like he just won’t do what I say as he thinks I’m nagging?

I’m having a pity party at the moment. Most of the time I handle everything but some days just feel overwhelming.

Thanks for letting me whine!

8 Replies

I went through much of the same issues with going to the washroom when out. We always had to use the lady’s room and John would announce “don’t worry I’m harmless” which always changed the looks of concern to laughter. I so appreciate the new family restrooms at the airports and some department stores and restaurants. John also hated being told what to do, but I was able to convince him to sit down...no more wet shoes or pants.

It is frustrating when you try to warn your husband about the obvious result, but it might just be a lesson learned.

Good luck and hopefully the public places will provide more private family restrooms.😂stay strong


I carried an NRS Uribag, portable Male travel urinal in my handbag. If he needed to pee, I’d hold it for him and then empty it afterwards. It was quicker than taking his trousers down as when he needed to go, he often couldn’t wait. He eventually wore a convene and I used the uribag to empty the convene bag when we were out. A great little piece of equipment. No more wet legs or socks.


doglington profile image
doglington in reply to NannaB

I used the same thing. The incontinence nurse ordered it. There is no time for discussion !!!


My husband also used a foldable Uri bag which is very discrete, I took him in the ladies where you could be a little more private. He also wore a convene which was a life saver once he got used to and accepted that he could pee into it and no one knows. Worth a try.

Love kate xx

Katiebow profile image
Katiebow in reply to Katiebow

In the end I always used the disabled loo where there is more space. Xx

Good Morning Patmimi

Life and our issues certainly are overwhelming at times (too many times)! It is my belief that there is a fine line between stubbornness and the changes going on inside our brains.

Mom had PSP and my son had suffered head injuries from a motorcycle crash . . . both were extremely stubborn in their ways. I was concerned for their safety and it seemed they were not. No one listened to my voice of reason. Mom has passed on and my son is doing better.

The other day with a twinkle in his eye my son said, "Oh, mom, I never paid any attention to you." And in that instant I could almost here my mom's voice say ME EITHER.

So What Can We Do? Love em! And do best we can with the mess we are in . . . and try to take as good of care of ourselves as we do them. Sending Hugs - Granni B

Try not to think he's being contrary willingly. It's such an odd effect of the illness, but almost universally noted - our loved ones often simply can't respond normally to experience or instruction. I wish I had been more aware - I got so frustrated by that stubbornness, and I know I made him miserable by my trying to get through to him.

Agree with all here... Didn't have to go as far as uri-bag but used Handicapped or Ladies and got him to sit down to pee "for his safety" from falls. Love Granni B's & Eastern Cedar's comments - so very true... 😊

Xx. Anne G.

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