New Life

[Beads0122]

Friends,

I wanted to share my joy with you all. Last week, after one month of my wife’s passing, I was blessed with a new granddaughter.

Bobby

[Kevin_1]

Great.

The family does on.

I hope you have much joy and take full advantage of grand parents right to all the fun stuff.

Best to you

Kevin

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Kevin_1]

So lovely what a lovely baby, life does go on after psp xxx big hugs bobby xxxxx how are you doing? Xxxx

[Beads0122 in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Yvonne,

Not sure if you really intended for me to reply to the how are you doing, but I think I will stop saying “fine” now.(someone on the forum suggested this recently and I agree) I not fine, but coping. This is process is painful. Not only for myself, but for those around me who knew and loved my wife.

The biggest adjustment is the sudden change of caring for and being sensitive to the needs of my wife 24/7. Now that that is gone, I’m trying to fill that aspect of my life. Grand kids are great, but there needs to be more. Only people on this forum truly know what that is like.

Thank you for asking,

Bobby

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Beads0122]

Bobby it must be so hard to cope with loosing someone that you really love, but you can only go through this at your own pace, I am yet to reach this point, but I can imagine how you are feeling. Yvonne xxxx

[doglington]

A blessing indeed.

Cuddling a small baby is such great therapy !!!

I know there is also the sadness of celebrating alone. I still find all family get togethers difficult.

love from Jean xx

[Marie_14]

Bobby what a lovely little bundle! Gosh she will be spoiled by her Grandad. When she is a bit older time to tell her about her Grandma and how she would love her.

I think it might have been me who said I am not saying: "fine" anymore!! People think you are doing well when you are in bits? So now I say: "not good" or "I have good days and bad days".

If I had a baby Granddaughter or Grandson I think it would help a lot! I have one who is 15 and she is great. So I hope your Granddaughter grows up the same way. Give her a few weeks and then ask can you take her out! After that do it regularly and she will love you forever. You will spoil her as she gets older if course! That's obligatory! 😊

I know this is bittersweet as you would love to share her with your wife. Maybe you can? Make sure she knows what a lovely Grandma she had. She is probably watching over you both with love and happiness. Thank you for sharing a lovely moment for you both. She will look at your photographs as she grows older and will be delighted.

Marie x

[Beads0122 in reply to Marie_14]

Marie,

You are such a wise person. Thank you for staying with us even though your beloved passed a year ago. I find it extremely difficult some days to click on the links in my daily briefing because it opens wounds that are just scabbing over.

My granddaughter’s name contains a link back to her grandmother, so we will definitely be sharing with her the beautiful life that she was named after. While her mum and dad were delivering her in hospital last week, I was able to care for and spend a few days with her big sister(2.5 years old). There is definitely joy and healing in spending time with my grand children, however it was nice to give her back to her parents after the visit.

All the best,

Bobby

[Marie_14 in reply to Beads0122]

Bobby, everyone says it's nice to give them back. To be honest I would kidnap mine if I could! 😁 On the other hand I have never had them more than one night so I might be seeing them through rose tinted glasses? Although we used to take our Granddaughter on holiday with us, and looked after our Grandson every day when my daughter went back to work until a few months after his sixth birthday, does that count? I had to stop then because my husband was getting worse. He is now 9 and a very astute little person. Maybe because he was with the oldies a lot?

I am due to have both of them on Saturday and I can't tell you how I am looking forward to it! My Granddaughter stays with me every Saturday night and we have a great time! She thinks I am mad I think. Both of them call me Nana and a few months ago she told me she was glad I was her Nana. After she had burst out laughing at something I said! 😇 Hmm...

So I am not too sure I am wise. More like mad? I stay on here for many reasons. I like to think that sometimes I can help someone get through the worst time of their lives with just a few kind words. Just as people helped me and they still do. Just read your kind post to me. You didn't have to send it but you did. Thank you, because yesterday was awful, and today is only a bit better.

I remember when I didn't know where to go or what help I could get. Most people don't. Why would they? I think of the help this site gave me. The support too when I felt I couldn't go on. I read others problems and realised there were people much worse off than I was. Some of them are still here. So how can I leave? It would seem so ungrateful to abandon the people who helped me?

I know what you mean about it being hard to read some of the posts though. I have found I genuinely had forgotten some things and it brings it back but it helps me. Because one day soon (I hope) I am going to tell everyone who will listen about these conditions! Just have to stop crying when I talk!

It is also joyful when Anne has become a Grandmother again and you have become a Grandfather again! We all get to share in the happiness of those new lives?

Thank you for thinking I am wise. If only that were true! You are a kind person though. I think most of the people on this site are kind. Maybe great suffering gives us extra kindness, I don't know.

You have been through the heartbreak and loss of your loved one so recently. You have survived, although live will never be the same. It is a horrible feeling. All of us who have lost loved ones know that only too well. So we support each other?

However you will enjoy the joy of that little girl coming into your life Bobby. Both her and her big sister will be loved to bits! Just give yourself some time to take them out. Think you might need to take them one at a time until you get used to the idea there are two! 😅 We will be wanting a report back by the way!

Best wishes to you too Bobby. You do realise I am green with envy? First Anne and then you!!

Marie x

[Beads0122 in reply to Marie_14]

Marie,

Thank you. I did run over to take my 2.5 year old granddaughter out to swim this afternoon. I like small doses. I had a blast and it was a good diversion.

Bobby

[Marie_14 in reply to Beads0122]

Bobby

Well done! I am so delighted for you. I bet your little pal was delighted too that she was the centre of attention swimming with her Grandad? She will undoubtedly love her little sister but sometimes the older child feels they are no longer as loved as they were. Talking from experience here! I was so jealous of my brother.

Baby steps Bobby! You are doing very well. However allow yourself time to grieve too.

Marie x

[dollydott]

She is absolutely adorable x

[enjoysalud]

How wonderful is that? I love how she is dressed with a bow on her hat. Congratulations!!!

I lost my son to PSP, 55 years old, May 4, 2017. The first 12 months were beyond difficult, but I am now starting to find joy in life.

What I think has helped me is remaining on this site, although less and less sharing on my part. Also, I participated in two grief groups. The first was secular, 8 weeks. The second was thro my church, 6 weeks. I think the secular one was more helpful for me. I learned a great deal about the grieving process. Since I tend to be more cognitive than subjective, it was helpful to learn what has been learned about grieving. I think the most important thing I learned was that there is NO right way to grieve and that the amount of time differs. Guilt often goes with mourning...."we did not do enough, we were not as kind as we should have been"....but when I realized/accepted that it was just part of the grieving process, the guilt has practically subsided.

I learned that researchers are finding that the second year can be more challenging for many than the first year. For me, the first 12-14 months were the most difficult.

I send good wishes and prayers.....and so happy that you have a baby grandchild. Mine are both in college (from my daughter, not my son).

Margarita from Los Angeles, Ca, USA

[raincitygirl]

Bobby, what a wonderful gift! And a delightful picture of the two of you.

So grateful that Life can give us these joys, even as we're still grieving.

Congratulations to you

Anne G.

[Katiebow]

Little poppet, congratulations, a little taste of happiness in a world where there must be very little at the moment.

Love Kate xxx

[NannaB]

Many congratulations

❤️ XxxX

[Heady]

Hi, from one new grandmother to a grandfather, just enjoy. There is nothing else we can do. This is the present. Your wife would expect nothing else.

Sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

[Beads0122 in reply to Heady]

Anne,

I posted mine after I read your post with your grandson. Yours just brought me so much joy, that I thought I would share mine as well. I didn’t mean to steal your thunder.

If they could bottle the feeling of joy, peace and contentment when holding a newborn, it would be the best drug ever.

Enjoy that little guy,

Bobby

[Heady in reply to Beads0122]

Hey, no thunder to steal. Like you say cuddling a baby is the best drug going. And I am going to enjoy my little treasure!

Lots of love

Anne

[LuisRodicioRodicio]

Congratulations!!

Best yo you and granddaughter.

Luis

[DeDeDickson]

Bobby, so sweet to hold a grandbaby!

I have found from personal experience that God blesses us with new life as he calls another home. My first son was born ten days after my grandmother died. My mother’s twin sister died on a Tuesday, my husband’s grandmother died that Saturday, and the following week, my obstetrician confirmed I was pregnant with twins.

God at work in the Circle of Life.

Warm regards,

xoDorie

[Beads0122 in reply to DeDeDickson]

Dorie, Nice thought. It is comforting to know that a part of my wife’s DNA is coded into this precious girl.

Bobby

[ninalulu in reply to Beads0122]

God is GReat, he is always with you and your family

[wear1947]

Nice picture!, Congrats!

Enjoy !

Elena F,

[daddyt]

Wonderful.

[ninalulu]

congratulation

[LostinHeadSpace]

Thanks for sharing the lovely picture. Wishing you joy and healing.

[Tippyleaf]

How lovely to have this uplifting delivery at this difficult time - a bundle of joy for you all I hope though a tinge of sadness I am sure

Love Tippy